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Lukesmum13

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Posts: 1
 #1 
So last night my worst nightmare came true, we lost our beautiful boy Luke Skywalker. He was just over a year old and we’d had him for 11 months (which is just way too short for me to accept). When he came to us he had been mistreated and was riddled with fleas, worse than I’d ever seen before (I have 4 other cats). I nursed him back to health and was planning on re homing him but I just couldn’t, I’d fell in love with him and he was mine. I soon realised he wasn’t like the other cats (they love sleeping indoors all day and when they do go out they stay very local and don’t go near roads). Luke however was very different, he would follow me to my kids school, get stuck in trees, bring home ‘presents’ and worst of all he loved playing on the road. Particularly an expressway not far from our house, He would climb a bridge and jump down and chase mice through the grass at the side. I would go looking for him every day, carry him home and ground him. He would cry and cry and I would very reluctantly end up letting him out again. Then a few months ago I saw a post on Facebook a lady had hit a cat on the expressway, I just knew it was him. It took 8 hours until we finally found him in the bushes, he was alive but not moving. We took him to the vets and they checked him, he was fine! So he was ground again, for a long time this time. We also bought a harness and lead and I would (try) take him for walks (lol). After a while again I felt bad on him he would sit at the door crying so I eventually let him out but made sure he was in if I ever went out or at bedtime. Then last night just as I got out the bath my phone went it was a neighbour calling on Facebook, I knew it was Luke straight away. I answered and she said he’s been hit so I quickly put my pjs on and ran over, there he was my perfect beautiful boy as still and peaceful as ever. He had been hit and managed to get himself on to the grass. And that was it..
My partner carried him home, we cuddled and kissed him then wrapped him up and put him in a box (surrounded by teddies so he wouldn’t be alone). I cried, screamed, stared at the wall, bargained with god and went over every single thing in my head all night. I waited for him to jump up on to my bed but he never came, I’m absolutely distraught. Why didn’t I keep him in? Why didn’t I get him in before my bath? Why didn’t I shout him the second I got out? Why him? Why us?
Today I am numb, I have spurts where I cry horrifically and then I think he wanted to be on the road I couldn’t of stopped him. Then I think I should of stopped him whether he liked it or not (selfish I know). Everything reminds me of him, my others cats feel it too they haven’t been out all day today and keep coming and sitting with me. My partner is beside himself, I’ve never seen him cry until now.
I pray that Luke doesn’t hate me for letting it happen, I feel so much guilt it’s unreal. He wasn’t just a cat as most people think he was my boy he was my fur child! I can’t believe this is happening, why is this happening.
I will love you forever and a day Luke Skywalker!
The only cat that ever had me walking the streets at 3am with a torch because I was worried only to find you ‘playing’ with a mouse. Or receiving messages off neighbours asking is this your cat in my house? (They never kicked him out though lol). Who is going to try jump in the bath with me? Who is going to make me sleep on the edge of the bed because he is the king and about 6ft long..
We didn’t have enough time together, you deserved so much more time baby boy I would give everything to have you back here.
All my love, Mum x
twinkiesmom

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Posts: 837
 #2 
I am so sorry for your loss. He sounds like quite a character and I know how much you will miss him. One of my first kitties was indoor/outdoor and he got bitten by a parasite while he was outdoors, resulting in a horribly high fever and we nearly lost him. From that time on we never allowed our kitties to go outside. They might not like it but they adjust. Love his name by the way.

Hugs,
Marsha

Kaiya_and_Charlies_mom

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #3 
To Luke's mum,

Please know that as I read your story, I feel one step closer to feeling like my little family can make it. I am so sorry for your loss. I hear my own thoughts in your words, and I am trying to quiet the unrelenting cycle in my head, the aimless attempts to examine what is now a blur due to shock Only three days ago, my independent, triumphant Kaiya was struck and killed. She was not even one-and-a-half years old. I love her beyond belief, every inch of her perfect, indescribable self. I wanted to give the world to Kaiya and to her brother, and as they grew, our routine shifted from leash to harness and to our evening routine much like yours. I thought...we were more than ok. How amazing they were each day, each week that went by. Sometimes they came home together! Their happiness overflowed. How close by they seemed to be. I never realized how far their excitement could carry them, especially for my little hunter. My explorer. My girl who would return smelling of rosemary, with muddy paws and cobwebs. I thought I knew.

I found myself waiting for her late into the night as you did for Luke. Out on the street I would walk, trying not to look like a criminal around the parked cars, half-whispering her name into the bushes. And she would casually walk up to me, I would scoop her into my arms, and she would come home. Things were different the day she was struck. I will never know if she was at my door, or if she was playing with the bugs and the mice down the street.

Charlie and I will do our best. I know Kaiya deserves nothing short of honor and joy--she was pure joy and happiness and sillyness always.

Thank you for sharing what happened to your family, and about your relationship with Luke. I wish you all the best.
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