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LizD

Registered:
Posts: 80
 #1 
I was here in June and July after my beloved Bennie , 13 y.o lab mix died and don't think I would have survived those early days and weeks without this board.  Slowly I've gotten over the crying stage but still have felt such a loss without him here.....every day.  He was elderly and slept most of the time but he was always here with me by my side . When I left to go to work etc. he basically slept away his hours. After he died  I really did not think I could have another dog....at least those 1st couple of months. So it's been a little over 3 and a half months without him. We do have 2 cats who we adore and they have helped alot too but still they are cats and not Bennie.
In weak moments I've been scanning Petfinder on-line and looking at our local anmal shelter dogs. The last few weeks I've been talking more and more about another dog b/c I was shocked at the void in my life without Bennie. I only work very part-time now,.,,,sometimes go a couple of wks without work and my only child is about to leave the nest. My husband is at work all day so I guess you could say I've been lonely when I'm at home without Bennie.
Yesterday I bought a 7 w.o. chihuahua puppy. I have always wanted a little dog and have always been intrigued by chihuahuas. He is absolutely adorable.  He and I are bonding very quickly.
So why am I so sad? I feel as if I've made a huge mistake b/c I don't know if I am up for all the puppy months. I haven't gotten a thing done today b/c I am taking him out every hr or so to pee and poop. Right now he is asleep in my lap while I type. My cats are terrified of him even tho they are 7 x bigger than him(!). He is terrrified of the cats too. Now I miss my cats sleeping on my bed b/c they won't come anywhere near me with the puppy here. I have a little crate to put him in when I can't be watching him and of course he hates it and squeals the whole time.
I am debating whether I should call the lady I bought him from and see about taking him back. I don't think she'd have any trouble finding him a home but it is embarrassing for me and I feel like I'm letting everyone down.
Any thoughts if you have been in this situation? Thanks.

rottiesrule

Registered:
Posts: 596
 #2 
It's normal to feel to the way you do. Living with a senior dog is completely different than living with a pup. And this puppy isn't Bennie. Normal feelings.

Don't worry about the puppy stage. It goes by so quickly. Yes it's a ton of work, yes there will the crying nights in the crate. But that's all going to change as the pup gets older. And the cats will adapt too. They're not used to a baby in the house either.

Give this some time, for all of you to get used to having a youngster in the house. It may go better than you think right now as everyone settles in.
KatLover

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Posts: 842
 #3 
I definitely agree with rottiesrule--just give it a little time.  Everyone has to settle in, and the puppy stage goes by very fast.  I think everyone goes through this adjustment period when they get a new pet--you kind of think, "Holy cow, what did I do?"  But then everyone settles down.  Your cats will work it out with the little guy--they're just being cats and need to work it out for themselves. 
LizD

Registered:
Posts: 80
 #4 

Thank you both for your quick and kind responses! Maybe I'm just tired today and will feel better in the am. I did just lv him in his crate for 2 hrs while i went out and altho he prob cried he was fine and beyond filled with joy just to see me. you are right...he won't be a puppy forever. and he sure is adorable.

kristing

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Posts: 10
 #5 
I agree with everyone. The stage will pass and you and the cats will adjust to the new puppy. I think it's pretty common to get that puppy home and start to wonder what in the world you were thinking! But within a few days I'm sure your attachment will form and it will all work out. Good luck! I might be feeling the exact way you are if I end up with one of the puppies I go to see tomorrow! LOL

Kristin

lovemypup

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Posts: 607
 #6 
Yes, it is a lot of hard work and quite the adjustment at first, but it will all be worth it Before you know it, your kitties and the pup will be good friends - just give it time and be patient.  Nothing will replace Bennie, but it is a new opportunity for love and adventure!  Enjoy!

Nicole

cwigg99723

Registered:
Posts: 628
 #7 
Liz, We lost our Beagle Bonnie Lou in June of this year.  And I agree with you; without these wonderful people here, i do not not what I would have done.

Just like you, we found this house too lonely without a dog.  The breaking point for me was when my husband was in the hospital for a week.  I was here alone every night.  I never knew how much Bonnie kept me company during the many times hubbie was in the hospital.  He has several health issues. 

So, one night I was browsing the internet and was looking at the local rescue shelter.  And can you believe they had a BEAGLE!!!!!  That what Bonnie was and that is what we wanted. She is about 3 years.  We did not want a puppy.  So this was perfect. 

So, we made arrangements to Meet and Greet the dog; she was in foster care and not at the rescue place.  It was love at first sight and we took her home.

We live in the country on 20 acres; we have 2 acres fenced in.  We were afraid to turn her loose off her leash in the backyard until our friend we had invited for supper to get here. So, when our friend got here, we released her from her leash.  Of course, being a Bealge, she was smelling all over the place. 

Well, unknown to us, a tree had fallen down on the fence in the far back and of course she found the opening and off she went.  With hubbie just out of the hospital, he could not go after her.  So, our friend and I went looking.  I have had a knee replacement and a horrible hip replacement and this is not wise for me to go tromping throught the woods. 

Well, I found her and she came to me.  Our friend was repairing the fence.  Luckily, I took my cell phone with me and I called hubbie that he had to muster up the energy and bring the leash. 

Well, needless to say we were absolutely spent!!!!  I am 61 and hubbie and our friend are in their 70's.  I was thinking "What in the heck have we gotten ourselves into."

Well, our EmmyLou(our new dog) is a completely different dog now; and this was just 2 weeks ago.  She was just excited about her new place and probably scared. 

She is a precious darling.  Give it time. 

Clara 
Kyriesmom03

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Posts: 55
 #8 
Liz,
I know exacatly what your going through.  I lost Kyrie almost 3 months ago, and I just adopted (rescued) a new dog.  He's not Kyrie...they are so different. 

In fact I just posted all my concerns a few days ago.  So don't feel like your alone. We have all gone through it and some are still.  I have good days and bad days.  I just have to keep reminding myself, Jake is not Kyrie...not even close.  But he's mine and I will do the best that I can in making sure he has a good home with me.

Good luck, and keep on keeping on...cause that little furbaby needs you. 
Berta

Registered:
Posts: 541
 #9 
Hi Liz. I have been wondering how you are doing. I am glad to hear from you.

I think it is wonderful that you got a little chi puppy to help heal your heart. Lord knows a puppy is work, but these puppy days go by so quickly. I know it takes a lot of patience, but it will be worth all the work soon.

I adopted a 2 yr old in August from the shelter. I knew I just wasn't up for a puppy at this point in time and all the training. So I can understand the frustration. I adopted a housebroken dog! But let me tell you, I still have to take this boy out 8 times a day. He is a pain sometimes! He will sit and stare and growl at me until I finally take him out. Then he just wants to sniff and hike and pee and check things out. It is maddening! But I love him, so I put up with his stuff! He has really helped me and has filled a void in my life that Chico left. That empty house and heart was so painful. I will always love Chico and he will always be my heart-dog, but my house needed a dog and Paco is filling it. But it takes some time to get used to having a new pet. We are still adjusting to each other.

It is still very new to you and you will have times when you wonder what on earth you were thinking. But those feelings will pass as you grow closer to your new pup. It has been 2 months and I still have those days. Don't worry. Your cats will adjust, too. They will soon love their new sibling!

Let us know how you are doing. I can't wait to hear stories about your new baby. Post pics soon.
LizD

Registered:
Posts: 80
 #10 
Wow, it is so nice to hear from familiar friends here! I remember Chico and Bonnie Lou's story b/c they were right around the time Bennie died.
Oh, I just don't know! I am really on the fence about this dear little pup. It's not a question of bonding/loving him.....it's just I really don't know if I am "up" for all this puppy business. I start remembering Bennie and how we used to say he was the perfect dog......but of course I am remembering his later years when he WAS finally laid back etc. As a pup Bennie was plenty full of it!
Meanwhile this dear little pup (who only weighs 2 lbs??) is such a cutie but he either wants to be running around playing with me taking him out every hr and he still has accidents in between OR he wants to be held/asleep in my lap. It sounds adorable I know but I don't want to start resenting him b/c I can't do my normal stuff.   I have a little crate for him but naturally he HATES it and I am way too soft hearted to hear that crying. 
Also, I didn't do any homework...can someone here tell me about chihuahuas and their personalities? Tx.
Bobo

Registered:
Posts: 116
 #11 
Before you know it, you'll be longing for puppy days!! Take lots of pictures, I regret not taking pictures of my April as a pup. I have no idea what I was thinking.

Your cats will adapt to the new kid on the block, as will you. Enjoy these precious days! They only come once.

Bob
Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #12 
Your new puppy sounds precious!  I agree with the other posters.  In time, he will be the perfect little dog and you will race home from work just to be with him!  The cats will grow to love him also!!

Mare
precious Christoph ~ my bunny boy ~

rottiesrule

Registered:
Posts: 596
 #13 
Chi's can a one person dog, possessive and territorial. They are great beacuse you can take them almost anywhere, but they should be socialized so they don't get snippy. They are confident and can have a terrier type personality. They are super dogs, you can train them to use a pee pad or one if those grass boxes advertised on tv.

As for hating the crate, break him slowly. He may just have to cry til he gets used to it. They all do after a while.
LizD

Registered:
Posts: 80
 #14 

thanks all for the moral support and encouraging words. Today has gone MUCH better with "Andy".:)  We are getting into some sort of routine and he seems to be settling in.Mostly it is me taking him out every hr or less to let him pee and do his poops outside.....luckily weather is beautiful/Indian summer.....it is so fun to see him AMAZED by a falling leaf or scared of a pinecone!  He has actually gone to sleep in his little crate twice today for naps without crying. It prob helped that we played hard outside and inside this morning. :)  I came close to calling the lady I bought him from but then I also had a thought: kind of what might have been getting me down.....: I was trying to be the perfect dog owner/mama...if that makes any sense. It was like those 1st 24 hrs I was so disoriented by having a baby in the house I forgot how to function.Because it was all so new to HIM he cried and was extra needy and I kind of panicked...thinking how could TWO POUNDS be turning my life completely upside down when I've always had dogs????  It  came to me today that I don't have to be "perfect" whatever that means! If he has accidents for awhile...that's OK.....he's a BABY!  If he cries a few mins when we put him in his crate (only if I am lvg him alone have I been putting him in there),,,,that's OK too! He is warm,well-fed, safe, very loved already, and currently sound asleep on my lap :)He is completely filled with joy and wonder at all of life and I think that is one of the lovely gifts dogs give us.

LindaK

Registered:
Posts: 1,405
 #15 
Dear Liz,
When I saw your post and before I got to your most recent one, I was terrified. Terrified that you would return little Andy before you both got to settle in with each others company. I was in the same situation you are in with your puppy except it was with my two latest rescued kitten. Those two little one pound kittens had me desperately trying to function and do all the things I needed to get done. They were so very sick too. I realized one day just like you did that I didn't have to be the perfect fur mom and that everything would be ok. I cried tears of joy when I did read your lasted post. I know the cats will adjust to Andy because mine did when I brought Angel the pup I found tied to my tree in the front yard. My cats had never seen a dog up close before and were so scared. But one day all was ok and they all played together and became friends. I am so happy for all of you and wish you many happy years together. Oh I don't know much about Andy's breed but growing up my Aunt and Uncle had one. Her name was Katie and she thought she was as big as a great Dane even though she would bark at us from under the couch! She too was so very precious just like your Andy.
God bless, Linda



LizD

Registered:
Posts: 80
 #16 

Linda! Thank you SO much for your response! I think you understand what I was talking about trying to be "perfect"! :0   Thank goodness I came here to this board when I was in my full panic mode......I think if I hadn't I might have taken Andy back. He is so dear and such a good baby. he loves to cuddle and sleep on my neck. He is as cute as a button when he is up playing and "hopping" around. He is so curious and inquisitive. I bought him several toys and that has helped alot too. One of the cats is definitely intrigued and slowly getting closer to him. The other is still pretty nervous which I feel sorry about b/c I love my kitty cats so much. I think you and the others are right.....in time they will all adjust and be friends. Your story about your kittens gave me much hope and strength to keep on with Andy. We are already in love.....so I just need to chill a little. I think I overwhelmed myself when th breeder told me chihuahuas live to be about 18 and I am thining OMG WHAT have I just committed to? I do much better if I just take it as t flows...one day at a time.....anyway, thank you again...you hve helped me alot!

MommaBiscuit

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #17 
LizD you should look into hiring a dog trainer to help you out. They can provide you with a lot of support with transitioning between owning a senior dog and a puppy, and they'll also help you bond more with your pup and handle the puppyhood problems that arise. I know many dog trainers who deal a lot with grief counselling too.

I'm sorry for the loss of your dog, but in time I think you'll realise it was a good decision to get a new one. My uncle lost his Jack Russell last year and just got a new puppy a few months ago. Like you, he had a really hard time with him at first because he wasn't used to a puppy. But now he and his wife are absolutely in love with him, it just took time to get used to the new personality.
LizD

Registered:
Posts: 80
 #18 

momma Biscuit, thank you for that suggestion! I had not thought of it. Here's where and why I start going in circles tho: Bennie was a rescue mixed breed,,,,literally got him off the streets as a pup 13 + yrs ago........and he was SO gentle and sweet I never really had to "train" him. You are probably thinking, yeah, right...but I am serious......he was SO EASY....abs no "issues" at all. His only thing was he had to be with me and that worked out great.  And here I am with a full breed chihuahua and praying I haven't brought dog issues into my life. Right after Bennie died I kept thinking I really can't get another dog b/c Bennie will be an impossible act to follow. Bennie's personality meshed so perfectly with mine. And here I am! But I am so in love now with little Andy. He is adorable and I don't think ANYone with a heart could resist him. I LOVE that he is so portable b/c it really is making it pretty easy. I took him for a short ride in the car today in his carrier and he cried the 1st 15 mins and then settled down. I had to water all my garden plants and I carried him around with me telling him all the names of the flowers etc. I swear he was paying attention and listening to every word. I prob sound like I am crazy...lol....I guess I am crazily falling in love. I've also been doing what Rick said he's done: I've been telling Andy all about Bennie. It helps somehow.

Berta

Registered:
Posts: 541
 #19 
Liz, isn't this board great? I am so glad you came back. I am thrilled that you and Andy are adjusting. I was so afraid you would take him back.
Chico was a chihuahua, although a jumbo size one. He was wonderful. He was fiercely protective, totally loyal and loved me more than anything in the world. I have to admit he was a pain to housebreak as a puppy. He was also stubborn! But once he got it, he never had an accident. He was devoted to me. He wouldn't even eat if I wasn't here, even if I was gone for a couple of days. Chihuahuas are one of the most loyal breeds you'll find.
I also understand about wanting to be a perfect mom. I went through that for a few days after I adopted Paco. I spent hours on the internet researching how and what to feed him, how much, etc. I ended up crying and thinking I was a failure and a horrible mom and didn't have sense enough to have a dog! I had to let it go and realize I don't have to do things perfectly. And I know I don't. I feed him off the table, let him boss me around, give it to him, etc. Things I swore I wouldn't do. Ha. But I think we are perfect enough as long as we love our pups and do the best we can to take care of them.
I am looking forward to hearing more about Andy. I hope you will post a pic of him. I know he is adorable!
LizD

Registered:
Posts: 80
 #20 
Dear Berta, I could hug you! I had to smile when you described YOUR perfect mom fears b/c that has been so me with this tiny little creature! (Believe it or not I am much more "relaxed" with the human children!)  Boy the things we do to ourselves! Andy has been sleeping right next to me in bed...he is such a cuddler. He's had a great weekend....playing LOTS outside and bonding with my older son as well. One of the cats is getting closer and closer to him...even sniffing him when he was asleep :) The other still runs when she sees him.
Well, *I* am housetrained, lol. I take him outside about every hr or so for pees and ths am he even did the other outside this am. Halleluia! So he seems to be getting the idea that outside is potty time. Maybe one day he'll even tell me it's time to go out instead of the opposite!
So...we are hanging in there......slowly getting the routines down :). Today being Monday I have a lot of chores and errands to do so it might be a little tough for Andy....he's going to have to be in his crate while I am out of the house.
Berta, what kind of dog is Paco?  I think Andy is actually a "toy" chihuahua. They told me he was a "teacup" but his parents are about 4-5 lbs each. Andy is all white with tan ears and a tan spot on his tail :) Something about that FACE and those eyes is completely irresistible!
jkgibb1

Registered:
Posts: 65
 #21 
LizD--

I want you to know that you are not alone in your feelings.  I am the one whose 14 year old cat (Kitten) got into the car trunk in early August and died because I shut the trunk, not knowing my beautiful pet was inside. 

Several weeks later, I went to the animal shelter for no apparent reason and adopted a cat named Winter--there was something about her that really got to me, even though the countless offers of cats and kittens from friends after Kitten died just made me sad. 

Winter has been here a month now and I really like her, but I still do have these mixed feelings.  I am very sad still when I think about Kitten and I feel like a "traitor" at times, although there is no comparison as looks and personalities are completely different.  Also, as Winter is a young cat, getting used to all of her energy is an adjustment. 

I had posted earlier about the "buyer's remorse" a couple days after bringing Winter home and wondering, "What have I done????"

What helps me is knowing that I have saved another animal and there are so, so many animals out there needing good homes and millions of them will not be that lucky to find one this year.  (The euthanasia rate of animals due to overpopulation is staggering.) 

So, hang in there and give Andy a chance and try not to make any comparisons.  Others told me that they, too, had those feelings of "regret" after adopting a new pet, so I think such feelings are common.  I do wish I had waited a bit longer as I am certainly not over Kitten yet, but in Winter's case, time was somewhat of a factor.

God bless you.

Irene
Murphy22

Registered:
Posts: 1,982
 #22 
I hate to say it but I had to smile when I read your post.  You sound just like I did when I brought home a puppy.  I forgot "I" got older, almost 16 years "older".  I adore puppies.   But I work all day and don't get home until 6:30, it wasn't fair to her so I found her a perfect home with my friend who works from home.  I then rescued one a little older who could be more on their own during the day.  He was 1.5 yrs. old.  OMG,,  what a little terror he was... and wore me out worse than the puppy LOL... but I stuck it out and he stuck it out and now we're in love.  He's a great dog but it took a few months for us to bond.  He's calming down nicely, and we've had him over a year now, almost 2.  So each year as he slows a "very little", I slow alot.  So it's working out.  How I would love to be home with him more.  My adult son is there so that's a big help, but he's gotten accustomed to his "peps" being with him constantly even at his age. 

I hope you give this a chance, your kitties will grow to love him and you'll all be in one big happy bed each night :-}
Sandie

lost_snowboarder

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #23 
hello,
It has been so nice reading your posts. I had to say good bye to my old girl last week. Gwenny, she was a 12yr German Shepherd. She slept most of the time and I havnt had a job for almost 2 years. And even though she was sleeping she was here. And She would "take care" of me when I was sick. A tumor grew in her tummy so fast she wasnt eatting for a few days before we found out what was wrong. I know its been a week and I still feel as though she is in her bed and watching over me. My hubbs and I have talked about getting a cat or a dog and I get scared thinking I am betraying her. Thinking "she wouldnt let a cat in here, or another dog". I know though she would want me happy. I feel so alone without her here. I think about getting another freind when im able to but I get scared of feeling like Im doing something wrong. It is good to read your posts. thank you.
LizD

Registered:
Posts: 80
 #24 
Dear Irene, thanks so much for your perfect words.....I had actually told my sister I had "buyer's remorse" the day after Andy came home,,,,,thank you for understanding this mixed bag of feelings and sharing yours with me! I am so sorry about your Kitten but am happy to hear about Winter, I love cats so much and right now am hvg guilt b/c 1 of my 2 kitties in particular seems very bewildered and scared by the presence of Andy. And she was the one who was best friends with my elderly dog, Bennie!

Dear Sandie, boy it's the truth about slowing down isn't it! 13 + yrs ago when "Bennie" came into as our family as a pup we lived out in the country...I was always riding bikes and taking long walks and playing outside in general with children. By the end of Bennie's life I had aged (!) 13 yrs and am now 2 hip replacements later. After both surgeries I cannot tell you what a comfort Bennie was to me as I healed. When I was only able to walk reeeeeal slowly on my walker outside, Bennie just slowed his pace to mine. Of course he had arthritis too and it was so nice that we had kind of slowed down together. But I was completely blindsided with sadness after he died. And now I have this tiny little wiggly bundle of energy who is just too adorable. He absolutely loves going outside and racing around yet I don't feel the pressure to walk 3 miles to exercise him, lol!

Dear Lostsnowboarder: I am so sorry about your dear Gwenny. She sounded alot like the way Bennie was with me. Completely glued to me.....following me from room to room etc and seemed to be happy just being near. Wow, we have been so lucky to have such devoted dogs. NOBODY has ever loved me like THAT! And here I am 3 + months later with a puppy after declaring I'd NEVER get another puppy again.....and  I've had all the mixed feelings ...imagine I will have for awhile.....but I do have to tell you that Andy has instantly brought that precious innocent joy back into our house again.  He actually reminds me of a kitten when he is curled up asleep on my lap. I did intentionally get a  small dog (Bennie was "medium") and a white colored dog b/c Bennie was mostly black and I wanted to minimize the comparing. Even so.....I swear I see flashes of Bennie in Andy. This is making me cry just thinking about it...but it's the ears swept back when running and the curly Q tail. Maybe Bennie had chihuahua in him all that time and I never knew it! Or maybe Bennie's spirit is sending me a little message that it's a good thing to love again!
Murphy22

Registered:
Posts: 1,982
 #25 
Andy sounds like such a "dear".  And he certainly has fallen in love with you :-}  I loved when you said he curls up on your lap like a kitten and falls asleep.... awwwww.
You were smart in getting a small dog you can easily pick up and carry.  I know the last several years I had to carry my Murphy up and down stairs on my shoulder, all 25 lbs of her.  So I too thought ahead to those times and also to be able to bathe them in the kitchen sink rather than bending over a tub... OMG... that killed me even 16 years ago.  Well I didn't do as good as you did, my Max is 17 lbs and the body size is the same as Murph.  A little hard for sink bathing, but I make it work with 2 legs in one sink and 2 legs in the other :-}   He was a rescue so I couldn't pick the actual puppy and he was really already grown at 1.5 yrs.

I too see traits of Murphy.... I called him our "instant family dog".  He just knew everything immediately like he'd always been here.  I think Murph was with him.  As a new "older" dog, he didn't know his new name or respond to it for a little while.  But if I slipped and called him Murphy, he'd come RUNNING, giving me kisses all over the face, climbing up on my chest.  It gave me shivers thinking she was in there with him.  So maybe Bennie is too :-}
Sandie

cwigg99723

Registered:
Posts: 628
 #26 
Liz, I was going back and catching up on reading different post and reviewing the replies others have added to your post.
 
I was glad to read that things have settled down for you and your little pup.  We also bought a crate for EmmyLou.  She has settled down very much, but gets very excited when we get company.  She seems to think they come to see her specifically, not us.  So, we give her a time out in her crate and she really, really calms down in it.  
 
At night she sleeps with us(shame on us for spoiling her) and there have been times when we let her out to do her duty and she comes back in the doggie door and actually curls up in her crate and goes to sleep.  Of course, she has the comforts of home in there; a nice blankie, a pillow and a toy.  so, why not go in there to sleep.

Glad things have settled down for you.  I knew they would.

Clara 
LindaK

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Posts: 1,405
 #27 
Dear Liz,
You can rest assured that your precious Bennie is sending signs to you through Andy. Bennie is a part of you and Andy. Bennie knows you love him and he is SO proud of his mama for opening your heart to love again.
God bless, Linda
LizD

Registered:
Posts: 80
 #28 

Dear Linda, thank you so very much for your kind words. I believe they are true :)   xoxo

Berta

Registered:
Posts: 541
 #29 
Dear Liz,
I really don't know what breed Paco is. The animal shelter tried to pass him off as a chihuahua, but he's not. He's 13 lbs., has cute folded ears, is agile and catlike. I can't figure out what he is. But he's cute!
I was also looking ahead to his elder years and wanted a small dog. Chico weighed about 34 lbs toward the end with all the swelling and I had to carry him since he couldn't walk. It was hard. I pulled a muscle in my chest once and again in my back, and still had to carry him. And the bathtub was a dreaded and painful thing for years! Chico hated it almost as much as I did. But of course I would give anything to have him back and still be carrying my sweet boy. I miss my fat boy so very much every day!
It is bittersweet when we see our lost ones in our new pups. It makes me sad, yet it's heartwarming when I see Chico in Paco. Sometimes I think Chico is coming through and helping this boy out at times. Don't be surprised when you see a flash of Bennie in Andy. He is just letting you know he's still around and that he's happy that you still have plenty of love in your heart for another dog. He wants mom to be happy and for Andy to be happy, too.
Lots of love,
Berta
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