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mele143

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Posts: 4
 #1 
I always know and believe that know matter how great life is at the moment, we are still going to go through struggles from time to time... but there are also rainbows.  The suffering is painful in deed before that rainbow appears.  My husband called me after I taught class this morning to check on me and he said the most beautiful thing; He would give his life for me.  He can't imagine life without me.  Deep inside, I always hope that God take me first before him.  We are very deep into each other and yet, we were not each other's first love, we are each other's soul mate, the other half of the heart.  To you my dear friends.....never stop believing, or nurturing the relationship that you have.

Tuesday, Oct. 19th, 2010 ...
I was just walking in a daze around the house not sure if what just happen, happened.  But then I decided to look at my pets album and it reassured me that no matter what, I would eventually feel the lose and pain.  Unfortunately, the lose came so much sooner.  I picked myself up and I decided to get out and go water the trees and think of Mele from the first day he came into our lives and the right before he passed away. 
 
The full story of how Mele died
Tuesday morning I took the pups on a walk around 8:40 am and on the way back would then bring the empty trash cans down to our house. But before doing so, Mele our white Siamese cat was outside and I ask if he wanted to go inside and eat? He instead, decided to lay down outside by our house step, so I figure, "ok mele, lay there then"..and when I get back from the short walk I'll bring him in to feed him.  Mom in-law left for her ukulele class around must have been 8:50 am, I walked pass her house around 8:40 am and greeted her in her garage.  I was not gone more than 20 minutes! As the pups and I were heading back to the house, from a distant (don’t have my eye contacts in), I see something on the ground in front of mom in law's house on the side of the street next to her yard....I thought the lid from the trash can must of fall on the street next to the grass.  It was garbage pick up day early this morning. 
 
What I though was a lid of the trash can was actually my Mele on the ground bleeding from the head! I dropped the pups leases and ran to mele yelling out his name.  He was lifeless weight & still very warm. I picked him up and took him down to our house and I just sat on the steps holding him and talking to him.  I don't know why but that’s what I did for a while.  He was still very warm so it must of happen within minutes. 
 
If only I had put mele in the house before I went walking, he would still be around.  Why did I not go with my instinct or if he was watching us, why I not think to closed our new, long drive way gate my husband builted, before I was leaving? But it would not have matter because mom in law's gate was open.  And we usually keep it open unless all three of us are not home.   Mele must of follow me and the pups and I was not aware of it.  I'm so mad at myself for not taking him in the house when I saw him come back from doing his morning thing (shi shi / doo doo).  So very sad how everything just happened the way it did.  I take it for granted that mele have all this land to roam and that he would not go into the street or try to.  I just thought he was going to lay down by our house and rest till I got back!
 
My husband is crushed.  I broke the news to him at work.  Mele was my husband's buddy.  Always follow him around in the garden like a dog.  When he comes home from work Mele runs to him to greet him and he wrap Mele around his neck and walk into the house with him.  That was their bonding thing.  My husband calls Mele his dog.  I still can't believe mele is gone.  We wait for my husband to get home to give Mele a burial.  I laid mele in a beautiful antique hat box that I had used it as a small hope chest, I empty out the box so can lay mele in it awaiting for my husband to get home.  Mele's lay beautifully in the same grave sight as our beloved 18 year old Iniki in the back yard of our bedroom window sight.
 
With clearer mind-set I am able to share the 8 years life together with vibrant Mele.
The house is not going to be the same without Mele. It's not the same now.   Mele was such a vibrant, active personality.  I have said in the past how I always said that my Mele can not do wrong even though his broken most of my ipu collections when he was younger.  I love that cat!   Mele got his name for my love of music and poetry ("Mele" means music/poetry in Hawaiian languge).   
 
Mele grew up to be a very smart, loyal cat. He raised our pup Hoku. Hoku still thinks Mele is his mother even though mele is a cat and is male.  I feel as though I have lost another child (not cat).  I rescued mele from the cane field at only 7 weeks old very weak and was not to survived more than 3 days the vet said.....that was 8 years ago.  Mele grew up to become one of the most beautiful, unique & exceptional long & tall Siamese mix with full of energy and fun to play with and always been the most healthiest cat and so very easy to care for.  Well....aside him getting beat up a couple of times by trash -passing wild feral cats in the past onto our land.  Mele was very protective of his home and his siblings (Hoku, Ikaika & Nui) even if he likes to wrestle 23 pounds sweet-Nui just to get our attention  sometimes.  My husband calls him humbug rascal but at the same time, we have to admit that Mele to smart of a cat.  Understands our every word and sentence.  I will miss his ways.  He is the only one that is allowed on the kitchen counter to be fed with my fingers his treat of can tuna daily.  That was his & my thing for the past 8 years, our special routine.
 
Why such a vibrant, healthy, smart cat who had so many years left taken away from us so soon?  I thought Mele would grow old with us and even surpass  iniki's age who pass away at 18 years. That, I ask of God as I picked up Mele lifeless body and cradle him tight into my arms as to why.  I did not even care about the blood dripping from mele's mouth down my arms.  Not a scratch on his body.  I was so  hurt, so numb & so blame that I could not protect mele.  So very heart broken but I know (from my experience with our late cat Iniki) the pain will ease replace by the remembrance of the beautiful times in time.  I still miss iniki & still have her favorite blankie under my pillow that I sleep on every night.  The pain of missing Iniki is not as painful as the day she passed, but still miss her dearly.  Mele was a shock because he died sudden and sadly the way he got killed.   To Mele, he was our child, my hapa (means "mix" in hawaiian language) boy with white fur and beautiful blue eyes. At the darkest time in Mele & my life....he & I found and rescued each other. 
 
Mahalo for your time in reading my feelings. 
 
Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #2 
I am very sorry Mele has passed on.  Losing a precious pet so suddenly is very painful.  Mele sounds like a wonderful pet and I know you and your husband are going to miss him dearly.  A home is never quite the same after losing a beloved pet.  You look for them in all their favorite spots and the tears flow when you realize they have moved on to their next life.  My heart goes out to you and your husband.

Mare
precious Christoph ~ my sweet bunny boy ~

mele143

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #3 
Thank you so much Mare for your message of comfort.  It's so hard yes in deed.  I wake up this morning crying, seaching, praying that he magically appear and that there was such a thing as miracle.  I feel everything you've said and more.  I don't want to let go.  He was so much a part of my everyday life.  Because he was the only cat I raised from kitten time (7weeks old), the bond is so strong.  What makes it so hard to let go is how his life ended and how I found him died!  Yes, the house is not the same and I do not know if it ever will for a very, very long time.

Im so torn, weak, flows of tears just the thought of him or sight of what was, and in sorrow that seems to never end.

Ti 
Darian

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Posts: 282
 #4 

I'm heart-broken to read about your precious Mele.  What an awful shock to you,  to find your little one like that.   Life just does not seem fair when terrible accidents happen to our innocent babes.  I hope you are consoled by the fact that he had a wonderful life.  So many cats would envy such a life. Lounging in your beautiful home, eating tuna by hand, feeling the warmth of his Mom and Dad's love.  I know how it is,  to hope that a miracle can change it all.  I hoped for one for so long.   But I think our prayers are answered,  just not in the way we understand.   I am sure that Mele is waiting for you in heaven with iniki.   My prayers go out to you and your husband,  that you find peace about Mele's passing one day soon.

mele143

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #5 

Thank you Darian - I could not stop crying reading your reply.  Last night we broke down so hard missing Mele.  Its so unfair, so wrong, so unbelievable it seems.  I went to bed praying mele would come into my dream but he did not.  There are so much of Mele in our house.  His left over tuna plate is still in the fridge.  I can bare to take it out. 

mele143

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #6 
I donated to Petloss.com yesterday on behalf of our beloved Mele. He would have wanted me to do that becasue I found a place that let me share and grief in the lone wall of our home when Im alone.
LukesDad

Registered:
Posts: 564
 #7 
What a heartbreaking story....the pain of losing a beloved pet is so devastating!  Those of us who have loved our special babies so deeply also, unfortunately, have the deepest pain and despair when they leave us, regardless of the circumstances of the passing.  Your sweet Mele was obviously so lucky to have a mom and dad like you!  The bonds of love that you have for one another will not be severed by physical death....I know this first hand!

This July, I lost both of my pups, Siberian Huskies Luke and Lil, exactly three weeks apart from one another.  They were 13 and 12 years old, and they were my children!!  I don't believe that anyone could ever feel the depths of despair that I did.....I had my two precious babies for all that time, and then there were none!  I've never felt as empty and depressed as I did back then, and I wasn't even sure that I wanted to go on without them!

I thank God everyday that I found this forum of wonderful and supportive people that can relate to me and give me comfort through the pain....because they've been there themselves.  Since coming here more than three months ago, I've had several signs from my Luke and Lil, convincing me that they are still able to watch over me and even visit once in awhile!  You've no idea how comforting the signs are, and they tend to come when one least expects them.  The biggest sign has been that they have led me to two rescue Siberian Huskies, SilverCloud and Rowdy, both of whom I adopted on 10/01/10.  Although I was sure I would never again get pets, nor would I ever again be able to feel joy in my life, it all came together in an almost miraculous way.  They will never replace my Luke and Lil, and I will always grieve their loss, but I love these new babies and know that this was the right move for me. 

I'm not suggesting that you go out and get another pet...you will decide that in your own time and your own way.  I just need to say that, for one who had lost hope, it's once again mine!

May God Bless you and give you and your husband comfort in your pain!  Please come back and let the wonderful people on this forum support you through your process of grief!  Rick
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