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Barefoot1

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Posts: 144
 #441 
Jackie,
We do understand that's why we are here. We all feel the presence of our babies. We have all had life changing events. We are with you and we are worried about you. Just remember Rosie doesn't want you sad or upset she really wants you to be happy. She wants you to take care of Lulu. Just think how Lulu feels she trying as hard as she can to make you happy but she still sees you crying. Put your faith in Rosie she is with you but she knows you have Lulu as I now have Annie. Annie does so many things that Miss B did its uncanny. So take care of Lulu and remember Rosie is watching dont make her get mad she wants you to keep going til you meet again. Kcat chim in we havent heard from you lately either. Hope you doing ok. Bonnie and Diane spring is here get out and enjoy the warm weather (it is warm up there by now isn't it). Diane now that its warm might it be time to get and train a new Bassett before next winter? Just thinking out loud. Please everyone have the best day possible. Your best friend keith.
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 166
 #442 
Hi Keith, 

Yesterday was just a rough day.  I know it's irrational but I feel like cutting back Rosie's rose meant I wasn't taking care of it and the negative self-talk started.  

Then later in the afternoon, LuLu and I drove out to Tye Lake in Monroe.  They have a path where you can walk around the lake.  It is not long, maybe a mile or so.  Anyways, we were walking along and I suddenly realized the last time I was there Rosie was with us.  She could only walk a short way because of her heart but it is a pleasant place.  When I realized that it made me very sad.  Then I lost my car keys but Rosie helped me find them.  

It has just been a rough week.  The job hunt is stressful and discouraging.  I go into interviews and don't even get a response back.  

Oh Rosie, please help me make today a better day.  Please give me the strength to keep going.  I miss you so much my Little Princess.  It is so lonely without you.  Please wait for me at the Rainbow Bridge.

Your mama
Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 115
 #443 
Hi Jackie, Keith, Bonnie, Diane

The five of us have pretty much endured and gone through the same devastating heartache, rivers of tears and miss our departed fur babies so much. Even now, months and years after the event, we still struggle to accept our loss and cope with our sadness.

Jackie, I'm sorry you are having such a tough time recently. I think it is OK to cry in front of Lulu, I know I have done it so many times in front of Botti cat. I don't think it really affects them that much, perhaps we are just projecting too much of our own feelings onto our animals. You can still weep and grieve as much as you need to Jackie, as long as you still continue to love and take care of Lulu and the others.

I have been thinking lately that at some point, we have to try to step back a little from our sorrow. Sometimes I feel I catch myself overindulging too much in sorrow and self pity. Although I suffer mightily, it could start to seem somewhat self centered, moping all the time about my pain, my loss, my Karma cat... I used to be pretty detached from things, but really lost this completely after K cat's passing.

There's this saying by a famous teacher which hints at a possible alternative mental state to try for. It goes like this :

"Make sure, however, that you leave the karma of others to them. Don’t cling to and don’t watch others. If I take poison, I suffer. No need for you to share it with me!"

Anyway, wish everyone be well and continue to moving towards freedom from pain and sorrow!
cosesmom

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Posts: 465
 #444 
To all my wonderful friends,
I am over whelmed by the love and support we can share with each other and every one feels so comfortable reaching out. Yes, there are days when we need to step back from our sorrow. Maybe not everyday but at least try to step back for I have found that giving sorrow a break I can really bring back the greatest of memories that I shared with Termy. Karmacat said better than I did but I get the point. I believe the sadness was keeping a shadow over me and keeping my heart in the dark. I will always grieve and miss my beloved Termy with all my heart and will for ever but I want to reach into my heart and head and relive each and every day that we shared because there were more good days than bad. This I wish for all of us.

Jackie,
I feel  so bad for you and only want great and wonderful things to come your way. The rose you so desperately hold on to is only a symbol, It's not Rosie. Rosie lives in your heart and always will. I think you were so upset about the rose because it was visible sign that you looked upon everyday to verify that it was all real and you walked this world with Rosie and continue for the rest of the week. e and it was real. The rose will live, of this I'm sure for Rosie knows it's importance. Be gentle with yourself and love your walks with LuLu and Rosie. They both walk with you as you continue your journey.

Keith,
No it's not warm here unless you call 36 warm. I'm not sure what the temperatures are like where Diane lives but if it's like mine, it's still cold. Whoopee, Tuesday will be closer to 50 and will continue for the rest of the week. The birds are all coming back and the geese are hatching out the little ones. Right now my favorite time is at dusk when all the birds are calling each other to join them for the night. It is so peaceful.

Diane,
Yes, spring is the time for new beginnings. Think about what Keith said. There are paths to walk and birds to listen too. Time to share a new journey with a new soul. People like us can never live life with out fur and barks in the night and sloppy kisses.

Karma cat,
You are a very insightful person. No wonder K Cat loved you so. You are the person K Cat knew you were and you are all special and wonderful. Thank you for being here and sharing with us.
Love
Bonnie
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 144
 #445 
Friends,
It is my life now I had written what I wanted to say and then it just disappeared. Anyway on the 17th it will be a year since B left me. I still go by her last day frame by frame. I remember my brother driving up and her trying to wag her tail in her weakened state. I loved taking care of her she gave me a purpose. Now I still enjoy taking care of Annie but I'm missing something. Anyway im about to stop the overtime for the summer I just finally want time to rejuvenate. Life just isn't the same. Your friend always Keith.
Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 115
 #446 
Hi Keith

It has happened to me a couple of times too. Wrote several long posts only to click wrongly and have the whole thing disappear. So now I do it much more carefully!

For me, it's been more than 15 months now since I lost K cat, and the grief is still always there whenever my thoughts turn to her. I kind of accept that this sadness will probably always be there from now on, and just try to deal with the new normal.

My current joy remains taking care of and fussing over Botti cat. In my case, I can't really separate K cat and Botti cat - I love them both very deeply. Like almost all of you friends here, it's strange how my life has become rather centered on my cats. Like you, it gives meaning and purpose to my life, which otherwise would probably be lacking.

I was just considering the life of Botti cat. How she basically just sleeps 16 hours a day, eats and poops and does the same thing day after day. Where is the meaning and purpose of such a life, I wondered? On the other hand, if Botti's or Karma's life has no meaning, then my life would be equally as lacking, I suppose? But I guess only us humans think about such things. Dogs and cats wouldn't be similarly bothered, I'm sure.

Comparatively, before Karma and Botti cats came along, I guessed I loved in a much more superficial way. Since them, it has deepened a hell of a lot, but also opened the doors to the hell that comes with losing a beloved fur baby. I'm not sure I really like it.

Anyway, greetings to Jackie, Bonnie and Diane! Hope everyone is okay facing all the tough challenges of life. And my prayer goes out that all the animals out there, be well and safe...
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 180
 #447 
Hello to all my friends, Keith you will be in my heart especially on the 17th. When this first happened to me I thought if I can just get through the first year the pain will ease. Well that didn't happen, the pain is still great but I can remember the good times a little easier. I pray that is happening for you. I just wanted to say to Bonnie, Jackie, Keith and Karmacat you are always in my thoughts, prayers and my heart. I thank you all for being here and helping me through each day. You truly are wonderful people and please remember that always. Love Diane
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 465
 #448 
To all my dearest friends,
I know we all share in our pain and offer love and support. I was thinking tonight as I was walking Darla and wondered why we mourn so deeply. I know for my self it's because and I think maybe all of feel this to. I think we grieve and mourn our loss because our loved ones gave us what we craved. Love, support and understanding with out wanting anything in return. Our humane counter parts do not do this, there are always things attached. We miss the warmth of their gentle love, we miss the quite acceptance, we miss giving our love and they don't ask for anything in return. They accept us for who we are, faults and all. We miss the love that shines from their eyes, we miss the the solitude of sitting quietly and just being. I know I always thought that if I gave love, understanding and compassion to people around me I would get that back. "Give what you want to get back" Well with the humane race, this doesn't happen, (maybe sometimes) So with Miss B, Rosie, Brandy, Karma and Termy we got what we craved. Our partners, family and friends etc do love us in their own way but it's not the same. So we mourn what we cherished and have lost. I for one want to live in the moment and live everyday as if it was my last, just as Termy did. He never worried about tom marrow, he lived every second of his life cherishing each and every toy, treat, back scratch, naps in the sun, rides in the car (with his head out the window), meeting new people, ear rubs and sitting quietly in the recliner with his mom. all these things is what he was teaching me. Now I hear the birds singing as they call their loved ones to bed, the wind in the trees, the gentle rustle of the leaves, even the pure solitude of the night. All these things that passed us by over the years. I can almost hear Termy saying " mom, time to step back and smell the roses" enjoy the time on earth for it will pass quickly then it will be our time again.
I am sending out love to all my friends
always here
Bonnie
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 144
 #449 
Friends,
Bonnie you made a great point maybe I should stop and smell the Rose's. Maybe I should spend more time having fun with Annie. Speaking of Annie this morning she killed a mole in the front yard. She smelled it out then chased it til she caught it. I garuntee you Miss B taught her that she did it just like B did. Anyway on This day so close to B's anniversary maybe I should take your advice Bonnie. Diane looks like your getting some snow I hope spring finds you soon. Jackie I hope your ok remember you to need to stop and smell the Rose's. Karmcat you have warm weather year around so just enjoy it who knows you might come across a cat that needs your love. Best friends Keith.
JackieTeller

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Posts: 166
 #450 
To my dear friends Bonnie, Diane, Keith and Karmacat, 

There is so much wisdom in what you all say.  It is truly profound.  I found great comfort in alot of what you said.

Keith, I send my best wishes to you.  Miss B. was quite an act to follow.  I'm sure Annie is doing her best.  Love her for her quirkly similiarities to Miss B. and her differences.  I am glad you are not doing overtime.

Karmacat, you always have something profound to say.  I really enjoy that.  You are a deep thinker and see things beyond the immediate.  It gives me all comfort and...as time passes..I am learning to accept the passing of my sweet sweet Rose.

Diane, on the 18th will be 11 months since Rosie crossed to the Rainbow Bridge.  I can still feel her little soul leaping into the air.  She went quickly...because she had new territory to explore and what Jack Russell doesn't like new territory?  I will think of you and Brandy on the 17th.

Bonnie, you hit the nail on the head.  I tend to have my guard up with people.  I have lots of acquaintances but few friends.  However, I consider all of you my friends.  I too like to listen to nature and feel Rosie is a part of it.  They say that animals don't live as long because God only lends them to us for a short time to teach us love, acceptance, patience, loyalty and devotion.  Then he calls them back home.  

Your friend in Seattle, 
Jackie

P.S.  Last night Blossom "escaped" and I spent several hours looking for her.  I found her and she is now on "house restriction"!  
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 144
 #451 
Dear friends,
As Miss B's terrible day approaches I remembered that Brandy crossed over before Miss B did. Diane have we missed Brandy's one year date. Was I so consumed in my on self pity that I have forgotten that we all have the same pain, that you feel as I do. I hope you are doing better than I am. I am dreading the 17th of April so much. I remember all the horrible pain that day had in store. I remember watching B go down hill so fast. Do not remain silent up there on frozen New Hamshire. Dont go thru these days alone believe me we all know what you are feeling. Maybe we are a band of misfits, but misfits I am proud to call my best friends. Keith.
Ps Jackie i know the 17th is a bad day for you also please take Lulu out with Rosie's spirit and spend the day together. Bonnie,Karmacat I hope both of you are well and keep writing we could use the wisdom.
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 180
 #452 
Keith, No Brandy's one year date was a little over a month ago. April 23th will be 14 months. I know all of our bad days are coming up and our misfit friends will remember and pray with us. I am very happy to be a misfit and one of your best friends. I hope your birthday went ok  and I know Annie made you feel special in her own way.  I pray that everyone finds some happiness in their daily lives. I am doing ok, one day at a time. I still miss Brandy more than I ever imagined but I have Pearl that needs me to be happy and to love her. She keeps me going just as all our furbabies keep us going. Please everyone take care. Love Diane
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 465
 #453 
Keith, Diane, Jackie and Kamacat,
We mark the day that our babies left us and memorize that day in our hearts but that isn't what our lives with our babies were all about. Yes, that certain day saddens and reminds us of how long we have mourned our loss. I try hard to count the days that I shared with Termy and I want to replace that awful day in September with remembering his birthday. I did something very special on the one year mark to make myself feel better. It did work, for me. I released a balloon with a note attached and let it go hoping it would travel all the way to Heaven so Termy would know that I loved him. I cried but I also felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I believe they call it bitter sweet. Nothing can ever erase that day in our hearts and minds but we can replace that day with more positive memories too. The first year is always the hardest because of so many first without them. Keith, please try to replace those awful memories of that day with better ones. My counselor told me to remember those but every time they come up to replace them with something that Termy did or a special memory that we shared. At first it's hard because the pain keeps them from coming forward but as you move forward one day at a time you will smile more (with tears at times). We need to honor our babies with smiles and happiness, this is what they would want us to do. They gave us joy and love, that was their legacy. I for one don't want to hold onto the pain, I want to look back and say I was blessed and I cherish my time with Termy. This may not work for everyone but I want Termy to know that all those years of good far out way those few days that my world changed. Cry on the 17th but do something special in Miss B's honor. Worship your time with her. Close your eyes and feel her love. She never left you, not really. Her spirit surrounds you everyday and she protects you by sending her love to you.
Jackie, I think of you often and hope things go your way and Lu Lu is being Lu Lu. Just as Darla is being Darla.
Diane, I think of you too and wish you peace. I pray that you will find another to share your heart. We that love like we do should never be with out fur on our cloths and muddy paw prints in our home.
Karma cat, Please keep sending your words of wisdom. You hit the mark in every thing you say. I think K cat his guiding your key pad. Please know that I think of you and wish you peace also.
Your friend in Pa
Bonnie

Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 115
 #454 
Hello dear friends, I enjoyed very much reading everybody's updates. Like the rest of this gang, I still struggle even now with the loss of K cat. I can't think of her without breaking down in tears. There is a deep sadness that remains, out of reach of all my wise words. It stays there, ready to strike at any moment. But compared to the early days and months, I have to admit, it is much milder. I recall the frightening intensity of the raw grief immediately after K cat's passing. I was terrified and shaken to my core, and I didn't know if I would literally survive the attacks! It surpassed anything I had experienced before - I was frankly amazed even as I sank into the bottomless pit again and again.

Like all of you, I so yearn to be with my cat again. Knowing that our time is over is the deepest sorrow, the biggest regret. I almost did not want to be present when she was put to sleep, but it would have been wrong not to be there for her. And yet, those last traumatic moments are now forever seared into my brain. When I recall it, I relive the worst nightmare all over again and again.

As I said before, all of us are winners. For finding the courage to try to stand up again after a devastating loss. And for our capacity to love with no reservation what many others would see as just an inconsequential little furry animal.

So Keith, Jackie, Diane, Bonnie, yes we will continue to suffer on for now. I'm so grateful for the support I have found in you people. No one around me would ever be able to understand what I'm going through. I would also like to give a special shout out to Bonnie. I see your tireless efforts in this forum to give some support and comfort to the new people who have just lost their pets. You are an indefatigable angel to all those who grapple with the loss of their pets! I think the rest of us could try to emulate your shining example, and look beyond our own pain to lend some comfort to other people who are hurting just as bad as us.
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 166
 #455 
Hello to my dear friends Keith, Bonnie, Diane and KCat, 

I am not doing well at all but I don't think I ever have.  My whole life has been hard and quite frankly, I'm tired of it all.  On the 18th, Rosie will have been gone 11 months and she is never coming back.  I feel so bad grieving in front of LuLu but today I can't help it.  

I feel so overwhelmed by life....I really am having to muster an acorn seed of strength to make it through the day.  I hate living in Seattle...I have no friends here and my next door neighbors are alcoholics and potheads.  It is really hard for me.  I was offered a job with King County.  I have to come up with three supervisors and two co-workers that will be my references.  My "references" are pooping out on me so I have to find some more.  They want me to come in at 6 am in downtown Seattle.  I don't want to go to downtown Seattle at 6 am!  But I can't afford this ridiculous rent.  Plus the job only goes through December with the possibility of an extension.  My lease here is up in September and I want out.  So I am so torn and stressed out.  I don't know where to go but I don't want to stay here.  Plus I'm looking at 64 this summer and feeling old and feeling like what have I done with my life??

My friends, I am so sorry I am like a broken record with my life.  I am so lonely.  

Jackie
cosesmom

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Posts: 465
 #456 
Oh Karmacat,
You brought tears to my eyes. I don't think of myself as an angel. I just want to help everyone who has suffered a loss and ease their pain. If I could have one wish, two actually. I would wish that all of us who has suffered the pain of losing a pet that I could take away that pain and for all those pets that suffer abuse and are homeless get rescued and get a forever home. That is my wishes in life.
On one of my visits to a spiritual reader (I may have told this before) she said that I would write and those words would move others. She also said that Termy would give me the words to write. I go back sometimes and re-read what I wrote and say to myself, I can't believe I wrote that. I also tear up when I re-read those posts because I feel that they were put into my heart by a very special sweet old man, named Terminator (Termy). As long as there is a need to me to help others like me I will continue to share my heart. Here on Pet loss I have made some wonderful friends, the four if you, Nicole (Arby's mom) and Scott (Buck's dad). Years ago when I lost Dakota (19 years ago to be exact) I found this site and it saved my life. I was so devastated from losing Dakota and no one understood me. He was only 6 years old and way to young to leave me. I made a friend in Lokota, North Dakota and we helped each other. He was a retired police officer and his love was Max.He has since passed away but we were great friends. I told myself after losing Dakota that I would never get another. I didn't want to go through that kind of pain ever again. I held out for 8 months and then Termy came along. He was a throw away that nobody wanted. I remember telling my husband that he only needed someone to love him and he said if you want him make the call and I did. 
I often wonder if all the dogs in my life has something to do with my huge heart and compassion for other's pain. Anyway, Karmacat you are the second person to call me an angel and I thank you for the compliment. I will try to live up to the legacy that Termy left me with. I will honor his life and love by helping others.
I hope all of you find peace and the understanding that we all need in order to heal.
Love always
Bonnie
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 144
 #457 
Jackie,
I hope blossom is off house restriction. And listen you've got Blossom and Lulu depending on mom. They feed off your emotions so show them how strong mom is. Stay there til your lease is up then go where you will. Your looking at 64 so what you ain't dead child. Take your fur babies and make a new life and new friends. We've all been were you are and we will be there again. Remember Rosie would she like seeing you like this? Take the kids go somewhere for a walk and clear your head.
Diane,how are you? You suffer in silence to much. Be like me a blabber mouth. Your silence is sometimes worrying. Stay in touch.
Bonnie and kcat thanks for Kcats wisdom and Bonnie's heart felt emotions and advice. Bonnie you were the first to reach out to me when Miss B left me. I wanted one person to know about her and look at the friends I've made for life. Thank you all the world may get busy and frustrating but everyday i always hope to read something from my friends. Thanks ladies and gentlemen you've made life bearable. Keith.p.s.Come on Jackie let's go your babies need you. Dont let Rosie down.
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 465
 #458 
Jackie,
What can we do to help you. You seem at a really low point in your life right now. It's really hard to get a job when you are older even though you have so much experience  and so much to offer. That is why I am sticking it out at he job I have, I am 63 and I know that I can't go anywhere else at my age.  Maybe you could stick it out in Seattle until September by taking that job even if it is downtown. Then in September you could start anew somewhere else. Depression  is a terrible thing. I know how you feel about being alone. Rosie was always there to pull you through when the world seemed so dark. She is still near you, only in spirit but she is there still loving you. I know it's not the same as having her to hold and give a hug but you need to feel you are important and you have done so many things with your life. I wish you could just take off and visit all of us and see how many friends you really do have. We care and I for one am worried about you. Please let us know what we can do to help.
Love always
Bonnie
Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 115
 #459 
Jackie, your post struck me squarely on so many levels. My life too, is a broken record, and how in the world did you know that I used to be an alky and pothead??!

I also have been through a period of depression, where I got to sample quite a few of the delectable feel good pills out there. It numbed the pain by reducing me to a zombie. Eventually I stopped on my own, and hit the gym instead which worked just as well, actually.

There is no need for us to question whether our lives have hit the mark. That is just ego and insecurity in action. Sure, when I was a kid, I too wanted to be an astronaut and the POTUS. Then I grew and realised I was in Singapore so some ambitions were probably not gonna happen. This list of things not achieved eventually grew to be quite long!

So, I also went through a stage of feeling bad about a lack of achievement in my life. Nowadays, I just look at others' achievements with a more discerning eye. How many compromises did they make to achieve their marks, I wonder? Did they fill in a sea of living creatures to build a casino as Adelson did in Macau? Did they chop down the trees and burn the forests in Borneo with the Orangutan apes still in them? I realised at this late stage, that I probably don't have the stomach for great achievements. Plus I would probably become really big headed if I actually achieved anything of note!

Anyway, this is not to minimise the difficulties you are facing, within and without. Of course, as we are in our 60s, it is hard not to feel a little worn down and tired of it all. Basically all we wanted now was to have a peaceful life with our beautiful little fur babies but damn, my K cat upped and died too!! Life can really suck sometimes!

Anyway Jackie, you are in all of our thoughts, and we are rooting for the dark clouds over your head to clear, so you can enjoy some sunshine and warmth soon.
diane772

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Posts: 180
 #460 
To all my friends, you are wonderful people. When one of us falls the rest of us jump in to save the person. Jackie we are all thinking of you. I am also in my 60's and not finding easy with money or purpose. You need to keep going for Rosie and all your furbabies that are with you now. They depend on you to get up every morning and take care of them. They love you with every fiber of their beings so you can't let them down. Do what you have to do until September and then choose a place to go. You now have friends all over the country and we would welcome you. New Hampshire is cold in the winter but much more affordable. We have many people that will help you and believe me I have gotten alot of help. The main reason I have not gotten another dog is the cost to adopt one. To adopt one here can cost anywhere from 400 to 1,000. Keith, I don't mean to be quiet. I am just not a big talker. I have a very hard time opening up about my feelings but I am learning with all of you. Bonnie, you are truly an angel. You manage to make me feel better when I am at my lowest. Karmacat, you are a deep thinker I believe.  You always come up with these great thoughts or quotes that make us all think about where we are in life and where we are going. Your last post did leave me with a question saying about great achievements. We have all achieved greatness. To me that is being a caring person, always ready to help others. To be loved greatly by our furbabies and people we have met. We may not be in the history books but people we have touched in our lives will remember us with fondness. I know Brandy loved me very much because when I came home even though she was in the back yard with my neighbor who she loved she would howl and run around because she was so happy to see me. That was one of my most important great achievements. Thank you all for being my friends, Love and prayers Diane
Barefoot1

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Posts: 144
 #461 
Oh lord last year this was Miss B's last night on earth. This is getting hard.
diane772

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Posts: 180
 #462 
Keith I know it is very hard but please remember you did the right thing. Miss B loves you for letting her go and she is no longer suffering. I know these words are easy to say and believing them is a totally different thing. I struggle with it myself but in my heart it was the right thing and I am sure it was for you. Try to remember she is at the bridge waiting for you and having fun playing with Brandy. You are in my heart always Diane
cosesmom

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Posts: 465
 #463 
Keith,
It will be a rough to marrow but Please do something in honor of Miss B. Weather it's a walk where you shared many hours, or sitting quietly watching the sun rise while you hold onto one of her special toys, do something that will invoke all those memories that Miss B left in your heart for days such as this. Stand at the doorway where she watched for you all those years and close your eyes, picture her standing there and smile. Be gentle with yourself and all those who offer comfort.
Love always
Bonnie
diane772

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Posts: 180
 #464 
Keith my thoughts are with you today. Bonnie had some wonderful ideas so please try them and find some happiness in Miss B being a part of your life. Love Diane
cosesmom

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Posts: 465
 #465 
Keith,
Thinking of you and sending love.
Bonnie
JackieTeller

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Posts: 166
 #466 
Dear Keith, 

My condolences for your loss of Miss B. on the 17th.  I know she was a special girl.  Please try to remember the good times and let the tears come if they may.  She was your little Miss B., a little queen in her own right.  She is sitting on her throne in heaven waiting for you.

Diane, Bonnie, KCat and Keith,

As you all know.  It was 11 months ago today that my princess, Rosie left her physical body.  It is 5 a.m. here in Seattle.  I too replayed her last night on earth and what it was like.  It had to be horrible to struggle to breathe during that last night on earth, but I know I did the right thing and Rosie is grateful for that.  About this time 11 months ago, I was rushing her to the emergency vet; only to let her go.  I still remember how her little soul leaped into the air as I held her in my arms as the vet euthanized her.  I remember how she immediately got cold.  That was a sign her little heart had just gave out.

Rosie gave me over 14 years of wonderful devotion and love, as Miss B. gave 16 to you.  I have no idea how old she was when she passed, but I suspect at least 16 or 17.  Looking back I try to remember the fond memories.....Rosie chasing squirrels (I feed a squirrel called Rocky), Rosie playing with the soccer ball on the beach, accompanying me to Mt. Rushmore and then across the U.S. in the gypsy wagon.  She was my partner in life, my everything, as Miss B. was to you.  I am grateful to God that he/she gave me that little white dog with the dark eyes...to be her mama.  I love you Rosie and I always will.  

LuLu isn't Rosie but she is a wonderful wonderful little dog in her own right.  She is sitting on the couch right now because she knows I got up.  LuLu has been there for me these last 11 months and shown me such love and devotion.  A truly wonderful little companion.  We went for a walk in the sunshine late afternoon yesterday and I imagined Rosie's spirit with us in the sky, the sunshine, the trees, the air.  Rosie is still here with me in spirit.

So I am going to spend the day honoring my little princess.  A spunky little white Jack Russell Terrier who, in her heyday, was quite a personality and still is in my heart.

Love to you all, 
Jackie, Rosie and LuLu's mama
JackieTeller

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Posts: 166
 #467 

My Sweet Rosie

 

Today is 11 months since you went away,

I have missed you every day,

I know it was your time to go,

But it still so hurts you know,

I know you’re in a better place,

Free to run, chase squirrels and race,

To the end of the vast green field,

Called the Rainbow Bridge so you could heal,

Please say hello to Miss B., Brandy, KCat and Termy,

From Keith, KCat, Diane and Bonnie,

We all love and miss you so,

But it was your time to go.

 

JackieTeller

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Posts: 166
 #468 

Oh Please Mama/Dada

 

Oh Please Mama, Let me go,

I am not the dog you know,

I have aged as you can see,

I’ve lost my vitality,

Chasing squirrels a memory,

I can’t hear and I can’t see,

My mind wanders from time to time,

I get confused….I don’t know where I am,

I know you can see this, please understand,

When I wander looking for you,

I am not the dog you knew,

Memories are all we have,

Chasing squirrels, riding in your lap, sleeping on the bed with you, being right at your side,

Those days are gone, we cannot hide,

The fact that I’ve grown old you see,

And all we have are memories,

So please let me go to heaven above,

I’ll wait for you, it’s you I love,

And when you look up in the sky,

I look down at you and am by your side,

So Mama please don’t despair,

We had a good life, so much we shared,

I know today is hard for you,

But please be patient, I’m waiting………I love you.

diane772

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Posts: 180
 #469 
Jackie the note you wrote to Rosie is beautiful. I can see them all gathered together and knowing how much they were and still are loved. They are probably sharing stories of silly things their moms and dads did over the years. I know they are all watching us and still feeling our love. Thank you for your wonderful words. Love Diane
Karmacat

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Posts: 115
 #470 
Beautiful letter Jackie! It brought tears to my eyes. Loving and losing K cat is probably the most hurtful experience in my 60+ years on this planet. There is a part of me that is unable to process the loss. I know you all have the same feelings with the departures of Miss B, Rosie, Brandy and Termy. I also think of my previous cat Mimi, who I lost when I was just in my 20s. It was about 30 years after that I caved in and brought Botti cat home, and Karma followed a little later. I just pray that Botti will live long and healthy, and that I will be able to stick around to take care of her to the end of her days. I know nothing lasts forever, but this sorrow lingers on and on, and shows no sign of ever leaving.
cosesmom

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Posts: 465
 #471 
To all my wonderful friends,
I love and cherish all of you. Everything that you write and share adds peace to my life. When I feel that losing Termy was more than I could bear I met a group of the most wonderful fur parents. You all have so much wisdom and the biggest hearts even when you hurt as much as I. Jackie, you write the most moving poems and letters. I feel as if you read all of our hearts and put what we felt into words. It brought tears to my eyes but I also smiled. Thank you
Each and everyone of you are special and unique. You all bring something to this thread and willing share it with each other. It's wonderful to know that we are never alone and that you,  Jackie, Diane, Keith and Karma cat are there for each of us. We will always feel the sorrow and mourn our loss for the rest of our lives but knowing you care helps make the world right.
Love
Always Termy's mom
Karmacat

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Posts: 115
 #472 
Hi everyone. Today I inadvertently saw a picture from David Attenborough's latest documentary which shows an Orang Utan ape futily trying to fend off a giant machine that was demolishing the tree in which he lives, and also the entire forest around it. Though I turned off the pic after just a second or so, the heartbreaking image still burns in my mind. The land was being cleared to create more palm oil plantations, probably in Indonesia or Borneo. I have become hyper sensitive to pictures and posts about such things nowadays. The way humans exploit and abuse the fellow creatures that live on our planet is sickening beyond measure. For our improved comforts, our cheap convenient food and goods, these fellow creatures suffer immeasurably for generations on end. Planet earth had been recreated as hell for so many creatures here. The whole thing is sad and depressing beyong measure, but I feel powerless to change things. I know am also part of the problem, all of us humans are..

Anyway, I just needed to vent for a bit. If you have seen the photo in the news feeds, you will know what I am talking about. If you haven't, I would advise you to avoid looking at it, as far as possible.
diane772

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Posts: 180
 #473 
Dear Karmacat, I totally agree. We humans need to stop wanting so much and start thinking about what we destroy to get these luxuries. All I can control is my small world and every animal is welcome here. I feed and water everyone that lives near me, I even have a skunk living under my shed. Thank you for showing concern and sharing. Diane
Barefoot1

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Posts: 144
 #474 
Friends,
Well this was a very hard week and wed was one of the worst days of my life. But as they say we have to go on it was made so much easier with everyone of y'alls support. My brother and sis in law actually remembered it and said they had been talking about Miss B lately and that really made me feel better. Wed morn it did stand at the door ( with Annie) and just think of how much I missed my girl. Then I replayed all the events of that horrible day. Funny thing after I did that I felt somewhat at piece. I still do I think I have finally come to terms with B being gone. I dont like it but maybe it's better to say I realize I cant do anything about it.
Right now on Saturday night I am sitting in the country at an old s.c. plantation working overtime for a wedding reception. I wish I wasn't but I guess I still need to work overtime. Anyway it gives me to much time to think but I have thought about how glad I am th have y'all as friends. Love Keith. Ps the owner of the house said it is haunted. The only bathroom is in the haunted house. Well I guess I'll be holding it til i get home tonight.
JackieTeller

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Posts: 166
 #475 
To My Dear Friends Keith, KCat, Diane and Bonnie,

I wish all of you a very Happy Easter!  Feel my hugs!  I have had a productive day so far with church, a potluck afterwards and a long walk with LuLu to digest the potluck!  

I have a new job that I will start next Monday.  It is both exciting and I am nervous but I am very grateful to be working again!  Too much time on my hands is not good.  At the ripe old age of 63, I've gotten the best job of my life with good salary, benefits, and doing what I love...counting numbers!  It will be a bit of a commute 12.2 miles equals about 45 miles here but the hours are flexible and when my lease is up in September I plan on moving closer to work.  Fortunately it is on I90 and I can move out into the country more.

Happy Easter and I hope you all had a wonderful day.  Time for a short nap.

Love, 
Jackie

Rosie, LuLu, KitKat and Blossom's mama.  
cosesmom

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Posts: 465
 #476 
Oh, Jackie
You make my heart happy. When one of hurts, we all hurt. I am happy that your job search is over. I am sorry that it will be a long commute but it'll be short lived. September will be here before you know it and just think of all the positive things coming your way. Rosie was watching over you and worked her magic to help her momma. Good things happen to good people.

Keith,
You were a bit quite for a while but so happy to see you back. It sounds as if you are starting to let go of the negatives (it's a slow process) and starting to heal a bit. We all need to do what will help us heal and move forward. Although moving forward with out our kids is hard. Annie was there in your arms to help comfort you. She knows she will never replace Miss B but she also knows she has her own kind of love to give.

Diane,
You sound like me. I love everything, all of the creatures of our world. Some more than others but I never want to see anything suffer. If the world could love just a little more place to call home. we would have a wonderful. Since losing Termy I find myself more emotional for every living creature.

Karmacat,
It's sad to see that world is so self centered and that there are those that live among us that don't care what or who gets destroyed to advance their greed. It's a sad world we live in.

I hope all had a good Easter. Wishing you well.
Love always
Termy's mom
JackieTeller

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Posts: 166
 #477 
To all my good friends, 

Thank you Bonnie for your positive comments about my upcoming job.  The miles aren't really that far...it's the traffic.  But I am going to make the most of it until my lease is up.  Ironically, King County called me 3 times on a job I turned down because it was in downtown Seattle and I just couldn't deal with the sad city Seattle has become with all the homeless, mentally ill, drug addicts on every section of the street.  It was so stressful just to go down there for the interview.

KCat and everyone, 
I totally agree with the way humans selfishly destroy land that is supposed to be for ALL God's creatures.  I cannot watch ANYTHING like that anymore.  It disturbs and distresses me for days on end.  I am very much in tune with nature and the thought of any creatures suffering pains me to no end.  If I even see a "road kill" I have to turn my head.  So I know what you are talking about.  The world is a sad place right now but I can only do my part which is to try and love all God's creatures. 

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter.  

Jackie

Karmacat

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Posts: 115
 #478 
Wonderful news Jackie. I'm very happy for you! Have a lovely day and keep us posted!
JackieTeller

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Posts: 166
 #479 
Diane, 

I am so sorry that today is such a sad day.  Brandy was a very special girl and I know how hard it is today for you, as it was for me on the 18th.  It is interesting that Miss B. went to Rainbow Bridge on the 17th, Rosie on the 18th and Brandy on the 23rd....all within one week of each other and only one month apart.  Next month it will be a year for my sweet girl, Rosie.  I wish I could do something to ease your pain but just remember I am here for you.

Love, 
Jackie
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 166
 #480 
Diane, 

I am so sorry that today is such a sad day.  Brandy was a very special girl and I know how hard it is today for you, as it was for me on the 18th.  It is interesting that Miss B. went to Rainbow Bridge on the 17th, Rosie on the 18th and Brandy on the 23rd....all within one week of each other and only one month apart.  Next month it will be a year for my sweet girl, Rosie.  I wish I could do something to ease your pain but just remember I am here for you.

Love, 
Jackie
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