Registered: 1546936405 Posts: 1
On December 20, 2018 I had to put down my black lab. She was just the best dog anyone could have asked for. Her body was tired and hurting. We knew it was time. She was ready but I sure as heck wasn’t. My dad told me that he thought it was her time. I didn’t want to believe him but deep in my heart, I knew. I spent the next week worrying about her and what options we had. We decided that we could euthanize her. No pain for her, right? I spent my last full day with her and it hurt me so much to look at her. I didn’t want to see the bestest friend I had ever had, the one stable constant in my life since I was 2, leave me. But I knew I had to be there for her because I wanted her to know that I was letting her go because I loved her. “I love you to death,” now has a new meaning to me. On the day of her... destruction(?) I went straight home. Skipped cheer practice and told my teachers I had family matters to deal with. When I got home I had less than 2 hours before her appointment with the animal control officer. She just looked like she knew. She was so loving that day. I sat on the floor with her and she came up to me and put the top of her head in my lap and nuzzled me and gave me a big kiss. It was the last time she gave me a kiss. Too soon, 5:00 rolls around and my dad comes home and asks if I’m ready to go. I’ve been crying all day because I wasn’t ready to say good bye. But still we loaded her up into the truck and I got a few pictures of her. Dad drive up to the animal control building. We unloaded her and took her to the room it would happen in. Dad told me to take her collar off because I wanted to keep it. My baby wasn’t ready to go but her body was. She needed about 5 doses of the solution. 3 in her belly area and 2 done by cardiac injection. I had to look away for those. She took about an hour to pass. When the animal control officer told us her heart beat was getting weak. I couldn’t stop crying and telling her I loved her. I kissed her head so many times. I wish she could have felt them. When she has passed, I lost it and hugged her now limp body. I had to fight the urge of hitting her and telling her to wake up. I know how that sounds but I wanted my baby back. I didn’t know I would go on without her because I can’t remember a time without her. I miss her so much. I haven’t really vacuumed since than. She hates the vacuum. I haven’t moved her food bowl. I want to leave the door to my room open for her but I shut it because I know she won’t be here. I miss my KC. I just hope I gave her a good 14 years.
Registered: 1529423348 Posts: 167
This is one of the worst things in life - having to euthanize our pets because we love them too much to just let them suffer on with their terminal conditions. I can't even think about it or read about without breaking down, even after a year has gone by. It will take quite some time for the raw pain to subside a little, so just be patient with yourself, going forward.