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jadesmom

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Posts: 2
 #1 
I had to put my beautiful and much loved cat Jade to sleep on March 26th.  It was the most heartbreaking decision I have ever made.  I miss her soo much and my heart still is aching.  I got Jade from the animal shelter when she was just six weeks old and she just celebrated her 18th birthday two weeks before she passed.  Jade has been with me longer than I've had my husband and children.  To me she was my first child. 

Jade's health had been failing for a few years.  She had severe arthritis. She was deaf and had hyperthyroidism disease which she was taking mediation for.  I didn't realize that with this disease she was at risk for high blood pressure and she ended up going blind because of this.  In spite of her illnesses she always seemed happy and content. 

The last few days of Jade's life she stopped eating.  She was spending a lot  time in the litterbox just sitting there.  She was getting weaker and weaker every day.  I prayed that god would give me a sign when it was time to let her go and this was it.  I made an appointment at the vets to confirm what I really knew all along that it was her time.  When I got home from work I saw her walking to the litter box and she was practically falling down.  She sat it the cat litter for about 3-4 minutes and then just layed then in the litter.  My heart was broken.  Jade was letting me know that she had no more fight left in her.  I knew the only thing left to do was let her go with peace and dignity.

I called my husband who was on his way home from picking up my son and we both went to the veterinarians office.  I cried hysterically when the time came.  I love this cat more than words can say.  I'm typing this now with tears in my eyes.  I stayed with her till she took her last breath and held her and talked to her telling her I loved her and will see her in heaven.  I know that although she could not see or here me that she could feel my arms around her and feel my love.  Both me and my husband patted her and held her while she took her last breath.  I stayed with her for the next 15 to 20 minutes saying goodbye.  I still can't believe she is gone.

A week later I received her ashes back and keep them in a beautiful wooden box with her picture on it and it's engraved with her name and date.  I find comfort knowing she's back at home with me.  When I die she will be buried with me so that we can be together forever.  I pray every night that when I go to bed that I will dream of her and see her and feel her in my dreams or that somehow I could have a sign that she is okay. 

I just feel lost without my sweet little girl. I am thankful for this website to see that there are so, so many people who have the deep love for their pets that I have for mine and that I am not alone in my grief.

WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #2 
Dear Jade's Mom,

How you love your precious little girl, Jade!!   I know she is just BEAMING with pride right now as she knows she and her mom are still connected by pure love.   You were so courageous when you made the merciful and loving decision to help her to the Bridge.  It is clear that she was suffering and her little body was just so weary and in need of peace and rest.  How lucky she was to have you, and you to have her.   Aren't we so blessed to share this loving bond with our babies?  

Sending love and wishes for peace,
Melissa
Betsy's forever mom
HelenY

Registered:
Posts: 1,415
 #3 
Dear Jadesmom---I'm so sorry about your loss of Jade.  They are our children.  We take care of them, love them and pray that nothing evil happens to them.  When it's time to say good-bye, we're never prepared.  The deeper the love, the harder it is to get through the grief.
     This site has been such a wealth of support to those who find their way here.  We're all in this together as we deal with our sadness.
     Hopefully, you will start to find peace in healing and remember the happy times with your lovely Jade.  You were a good Mommy to her for 18 years and did everything you could for her.  When you feel ready, please show us a picture of her.  We'd all love to see her.

      All my thoughts & prayers go out to you---Teddy's Mom
aurichwolf

Registered:
Posts: 555
 #4 

 
Dear Jades Mommy,
 
I was looking tonight to be sure that new losses had not slipped off the first few pages with little or no replies because the board has been quite busy lately and when that happens to often posts get bumped off the first page to quickly and many people only look at the first page to see if there are new people who need help.
 
I am so sorry to read about the loss of your sweet baby Jade.
I know she is a part of your heart and you miss her so much.
They do let us know when it's time and when we look into their eyes we just seem to know.
You are a very special Mom to be able to give that final gift of love.
It is the most unselfish gift we can ever give and for that they love us with all their hearts.
 
They know we will be together with them again and they watch over us from Rainbow Bridge as our guardian angels.
I hope your heart will be at peace knowing your Jade is safe at the bridge and healthy and happy once more.
She will be there waiting to greet you one day and you will never be apart again.
Till that day comes she lives in your heart always.
 
Love and Peace,
AurichWolf
Kathy

 

THE FINAL GIFT OF LOVE

 

 Through our time together we made so many memories.
Long walks in Summer sun and Autumn's gentle breeze.
Watching from the window Springtime rain and Winter's falling snow.
We never thought about the time that I might have to go.

 

Through healthy years of playful days and all the joy we shared.
Your loving  touch in final days would show how much you cared.
You gave your strength when mine was gone and I tried so hard to stay.
Then came the time you understood I had to go away.

 

For I had given all there was and so had you my friend.
We looked into EACH others eyes and knew my time was at it's end.
You gave the gift of dignity as you sadly let me go.
As my eyes closed for that final time your tears began to flow.

 

Fear not my friend for I am well and happy waiting hear.
My love for you has not gone away for that please have no fear.
I dwell  now at the rainbow's end and this is where I'll be.
One day I'll run into arms when it's your time to come to me

 

 ©~ AurichWolf aka Katie~2008~

 

lacal

Registered:
Posts: 201
 #5 

Dear Jadesmom:

I am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful Jade.  What a wonderful life she must of had for all those years.   If all the pets in the world had such a caring and unselfish mom how wonderful it would be.  18 years of being loved and cared for is a great tribute to what a good fur parent you were to your Jade. It is all those wonderful years that were so important to Jade and not the sad good by.

It was also nice to read how supportive your husband was and that you had someone with you when the time came to say good by.

May your grief soon be replace by the happy memories of your much loved Jade.


lacal





basil

Registered:
Posts: 1,205
 #6 
I am so sorry for your loss of your darling Jade.  You know that you let her go with dignity, and that you did that last act out of deep love.  When you have spent so many years with a baby, it is so hard to accept that they are not there.  My Lab, Jack, was 14 and half when I had him PTS.  He grew up with my kids, he adored them.  They used to dress him up and all sorts.  I still miss him so much and it has been 12 years since he left.

We all know the terrible pain you are in.  Thinking of you, Much Love, Di xxx
katebock

Registered:
Posts: 686
 #7 
Dear Jadesmom,

I read your post with tears.  Your love for Jade is so deep.  I know how much you miss her.  I lost my kitty, Gus, 4 months ago and I still miss him so much.  Our furbabies are such a wonderful gift from God.  Even though our hearts are broken, we can thankful that God chose us to have the love of these precious babies and that we could experience that special bond with them. 

Your Jade had such a wonderful life filled with your love.  She couldn't have asked for more.

Hugs
Kate (Gus' mom) 

RustysMom

Registered:
Posts: 1,015
 #8 

Dear Jadesmom –

 

I’m so sorry about the loss of your beloved little Jade.  While I know it doesn’t feel like this now, setting your girl free was the greatest loving act of kindness you could bestow upon your Jade.  Our hearts are broken the day they leave us. It’s such a hard and unbearable loss because they do provide us with some many wonderful gifts during their time with us . . . companionship when we’re lonely, unconditional love when we don’t ask for it, comfort and warmth, and in the end, they somehow provide us with strength when we need it the most.

 

On Feb. 16, 2008, 10 weeks and 1 day ago I sent my beloved kitty Rusty who was 21+ years old to the Rainbow Bridge.  Oh it pained me so beyond belief to guide him to the Rainbow Bridge, but he looked to me, he trusted me to help him make his transition.  The more I think about it, I believe that Rusty gave me the strength I needed to help him, because I know I couldn’t have done it on my own, and yet he couldn’t do it on his own either.  So together, with such heartache, we made the decision.  My heart is as shattered today as the day he left me.  He was my best friend, my love, my life, my heart & soul and I know I will never get over his having to leave me. I too was with my kitty Rusty when he took his last sweet breath on this earth; I could feel his body relax, finally after struggling for 2 days.

 

Rusty is at home with me now. I couldn’t imagine him anywhere else but here at home with me, where he belongs. He’s in his new “home” now. A good friend of mine gave me a beautiful box with space for photos on each side.  I placed his ashes in a gold gingham bag, along with his certificate inside the box. I put a rose in there yesterday, for no particular reason other than it seemed like something he’d like.  His home sits on top of an end table in our kitchen.  This is one of the very last spots he liked to sleep, in his bed, under the lamp. I kiss him good night, good morning, and times in between.

 

Like you, I still can’t believe he’s gone. I keep looking at his bed, expecting to see him, except he isn’t there.  I keep filling his water dish, expecting him to come running so he can get his favorite drinkies.  I keep looking at his fluids calendar, so sad that I no longer have to keep track of his schedule. 

 

I have such an empty pit in the core of my soul – that’s probably where our 2 souls were connected, and as I've written a few times, I’ve come to realize that my overwhelming grief & sorrow is because of this connection . . . I am him, and he is me.  Knowing and accepting this seems to have helped me understand the depth of my brevity and loss.  It doesn’t lessen it, just provides some clarity for me. 

 

I know we had a long wonderful life together, but it still doesn’t change the fact that he is forever gone from my physical presence.  And the agony (for me) is sometimes too much to bear.  But I know now that we do not have to suffer with our grief and sadness alone.  PL has been a life saver for me. 

 

To our sweet earth angles that now wear their Rainbow Bridge wings . . . until we meet again . . . we love and miss you so.

 

Please know you’re in my thoughts.

 

Rusty’s Mom.

Nancee

Registered:
Posts: 1,328
 #9 

Sorry about your loss--I know it hits very hard. For me, too. Lost one in January--18  1/2 yr. Calico (Puffy, my Puff ball) beautiful, smart as a whip and ornery.

jadesmom

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #10 
Thank you all so much for your replies.  Your kind words mean so much to me in my time of grief.  Aurichwolf aka kathy I have to tell you that your poem made me cry.  It is so beautiful and so true.  I'm sitting here at my desk at work with tears flowing.  Thank you for sending that along to me.  It helps me realize that I did the right thing for Jade.  Although I loved her so much that I didn't want her to go - I knew that this was the time.  Jade has been ill for several years with so many different ailments but I always just chocked it up to the fact that she was just like a little old lady with all her aches and pains and I couldn't put her to sleep because of that.  Only when I truly knew without any doubt that she would never get better did I make the decision.  It has been a month and two days since she's been gone.  It's strange but it feels like I am the only one that truly misses her.  I will forever.

Rusty's mom - you and I seem very much alike in our grief.  I thank you for telling me the story of your beloved Rusty.  I know the ache you feel for your baby.  I too still keep all of Jade's medicine where it always was and wish I was still keeping track of her medications.  I still have the catfood in the cabinet.  I just cannot part with the few things that remind me that Jade was here. 

To all of you who took the time to respond to my post - thank you - I know we are all in the same place missing our beloved babies so much.  The pain I feel in my heart is a pain that all of us here on this board feel. 


RustysMom

Registered:
Posts: 1,015
 #11 

Dear jadesmom –

 

Yes, I so understand . . .  For me, it’s those reminders, Rusty’s medicines, his fluids, his special food, etc. that pull so hard at my heart.  It was a couple of days after he left that I realized all of his meds we still at the e.r. hospital and I wanted to go back and get them, but my husband said he didn’t think that was a good idea. Of course now I wish I had listened to myself. I haven’t given any of Rusty’s stuff away except his fluids and the lines/needles. I know that Rusty would be glad to know that it’s being used by some other kitty or doggie who needs them. I still have the last fluid bag he was using . . . I don’t have the heart to throw it away. I still have all of Rusty’s food, packed lovingly away. His litter box is being stored until I bring our next kitty home, which will be one day soon I’m sure. I have the sweater I was wearing the day he left me, along with a towel I had found that he had slept on, and I put those 2 items in a bag in my cedar chest. I want everything/anything that has some connection to him with me. It’s these things that keep us connected. Even though I know his spirit is all around me, it’s these physical, tangible objects that really provide me with some comfort.

 

jadesmom, I hope we somehow continue to find other paths to comfort as we move through and on this bumpy road of grief.

 

Warm hugs and much affection.

 

Rusty’s Mom.

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