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heather_dawn

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Posts: 3
 #1 
On Monday the 22nd I lost my black lab Lexus Jade. She was 12 years old. I have had Lexus since she was 3 months old. I am completely devastated. She was showing signs of her age and I knew I wouldn't have her much longer but I still wasn't ready for her to leave me. She passed away in my arms early in the morning. I feel like she waited for me to comfort her. I have lost family members but i feel like loosing her is more of a loss. I had several pet when I was growing up but don't ever remember feeling this sad. I feel like my heart is going to explode. I have cried so much in the past few days that my eyes feel like they are on fire. I find her hair all through my house but yet can't seem to vacuum the hair up. And every time I find her hair I completely loose it. Every morning I wake at 4a.m. that is when she always came into my room and wanted to cuddle in bed..oh what I would give to hear her big tail wacking off my wall while she rubbed her wet nose on my hand so I could put her in bed with me.

I have another lab..A chocolate male. He is my baby also but he doesn't feel the void of my Lexus! He is also sad..walks around looking for her..whining and looking sad.
I hope by joining this page I can get a handle on my grieving. .I in no way want to forget her. I just want to be able to hold it together when I find her hair or in the morning not putting food in her bowl. I do have 2 kids 8 and 10. Who seem to be taking it much better then I am.

Always__there

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Posts: 123
 #2 
Hello HEATHER,
I too, saddened at the loss of your beloved LEXUS. Reading my entries will inform you as to the depth of my despair. Your children not having the same understanding as you as to the departure of LEXUS, reason being, they are at an age, not having FULLY GRASPED the intensity of MORTALITY, maybe that is a good thing. As an ADULT we humans go into the DEPTH and ITEMIZE. Know that, when an animal touches your SOUL-- it is forever !! Was reading of late the following.... We, left behind should VIEW THE ENTIRE MOVIE OF THE PETS WHOLE LIFE AND NOT** THE ENDING SNAPSHOT. Seems like empty words at this stage, where emotions are raw. At this point in time alllll I can think of is the final moments at the vets. Too traumatic and devastating. My wee Perry, would have been 16y in days to come and that was not meant to be, sadly. Try to have photos of and do light the candles and if necessary DO cradle the favoured toy that was once his. The latter helps immensely. My thoughts go with you, PEACE, SherryxxPerryxx
heather_dawn

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #3 
Thank you for your kind words! I am slowly getting a grasp on my saddness. I love your advice of the photos and holding her favorite toy..I did as you suggested. I found several pictures of her and my son when he was a baby she was younger then too and I placed them beside my bed. It seems that morning and bed time are my hardest times. So I stuck the pictures of her by my bed so when I open my eyes there she is! I also have her doggie coat that I made for her and I keep it under my pillow. That seems to help comfort me! I still struggle when I find her hair in random places in the house but yet I can't seem to get the vacuum out to sweep it up. :(

I am also sorry to hear about your dog
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