Registered: 1192815206 Posts: 1,198
Tomorrow will be the 11th week since my beloved Blackie passed away. I've written this before, but it still holds true - I cannot believe 11 entire weeks have gone by since he left me. That is almost 3 months. I don't know if I am missing him more and more because it is a partial reaction to some stress I'm under at work, but last night
I broke down and cried over his death and I am really trying to keep the tears at bay as I type these words. I really miss my precious Blackie. I miss him so very much. I miss taking care of him. I miss spending time with him. I miss falling asleep and waking up with him next to me. I miss petting him. I miss looking into his eyes and telling him how much I love him. I miss walking in the door after work and having him greet me at the bottom of the stairs. I miss brushing him. I miss the way he let me know he wanted me to do certain things, such as let him out on the balcony or brush him in certain parts of his body or feed him certain foods. I miss the way he would gently beg for food off of my plate. I miss hearing the way his teeth would mesh together whenever he ate his food. I miss hearing the way he would lap up water in his bowl and the milk I gave him every now and then. I miss sitting on the sofa in the living room and just looking over to the chair or the cat tree and seeing him lying there so peacefully and just letting the time pass by. I miss his companionship and I miss having a cat that so clearly loved me and made sure he let me know he loved me every day. Rufus and Squeeker love me and I love them, there is not doubt about that. But the love Blackie and I shared was just so different, it was the kind you only find once or twice if you are lucky. I miss you Blackie. I hope you are healthy and happy and that you will come to visit me and Rufus soon. Take care and all my love, my precious one. Kelly
Registered: 1193533588 Posts: 991
Your Blackie just looks downright regal.
I know what it's like to count the early weeks, and then the months. I'm at 8 months without my Molly schnauzer girl.
What helps me most when I'm missing her badly is coming here and finding out I'm not alone. Knowing that she's at the Bridge and no longer has that darn tumor hanging out her mouth gives me peace and a sense of hope. It helps to imagine what she's doing at the Bridge with the other Bridge babies.
And then the truth of the matter is, sometimes nothing seems to give relief for the incredible sadness. How do they work their way into our hearts so deeply that we cannot seem to be consoled?
I hope you find a little peace today in a good memory of Blackie.
Registered: 1192815206 Posts: 1,198
Thank you for your post - I agree, Blackie was such a regal cat, and that picture really shows just how truly gorgeous he was. You are so right - it is truly amazing how our fur friends work their way so deeply into our hearts, isn't it? I never really imagined Blackie's passing would touch me so profoundly, especially given how we only had a little under three years together. But it has and now the world seems so different without him here with me. I'm not quite yet to the point where I can imagine Blackie at the Bridge and have peace knowing he is no longer underweight or so sick from his kidney disease. I'm hoping I'll get there with the passage of time. (And I hope that time comes SOON, LOL!) In the meantime, I just talk to Blackie and hope he hears me. I also do my best to spend a little extra time with my other cats and just do whatever I can to get through the weeks and especially the weekends without him (he died early on a Saturday morning so weekends tend to be kind of difficult for me). Thank you again for your reply. I too hope I can find a little bit of peace today, especially in remembrance of one of the best friends I have ever had. Kelly Blackie's mommy
Registered: 1211242652 Posts: 355
What an absolutely striking cat Blackie is! Very handsome and he has that "majestic" look to him.
I know how much we miss our babies - all of the things you mentioned in your post are so true. One thing that I am trying to focus on is how blessed I was to have my beautiful cat Cheeseburger in my life for 10 years. He filled my heart with so much love and happiness. I also know Cheese would be upset to see me so sad, crying all the time and in pain. When he was still here and I was upset, it used to upset him too, and he would meow constantly and nuzzle, and try to comfort me. And he always did. Cheesey always made me smile. I found so much peace and comfort in him. He was my special boy. On Sunday it will be 6 weeks that my Cheeseburger is gone - physically gone, but his love, spirit, and energy will be in my heart forever. I hope my Cheeseburger found a friend in your Blackie...and they are happy, healthy, and looking down at us and saying "Don't be so sad - we're there with you - forever in your hearts." Bless our beautiful boys Blackie and Cheeseburger. Dee Cheeseburger's Mom email@example.com Dee + Cheeseburger = LOVE
Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
Dear Blackie's Mom:
I am so sorry for your loss of Blackie. He is so beautiful. Losing our babies is like re-living a horrible nightmare every day. My Precious Angel Christopher has been gone for over 14 months and I cry for him every day. My life has changed forever; the Joy he brought into my life is gone. MY life will never be the same and I have accepted that as I have no choice but to continue on and do as much as I can in Christopher's name. Blackie has been gone such a short time; I am sure that the pain is overwhelming for you. I know that the first three months I was an absolute maniac. I could not function at all. I continuously asked God to please let me go with Christopher as I could not stand the pain. Obviously I am still here. The pain does ease but it never leaves. I too have other animals and I love them all, but they are not and never will be Christopher. No one will ever fill that hole in my Heart. When Christopher died in my arms it felt as if my soul left with him. I know I will not get it back until he is safe in my arms once again. This site is the best place to be as everyone understands your pain. I would not have survived Christopher's loss if I had not had my wonderful petloss family. I wish there was something I could say to make your pain better, but nothing works. We are always here when you need us. You and Blackieare in my Prayers. Big Hugs Georgeann and Christopher Forever My Precious Angel Please Watch Over Blackie For His Mommy You Are My Man And I Love You Mommy
Registered: 1211298031 Posts: 95
Blackie's mom it will be 3 weeks for me on Sunday that I lost my beautiful baby Bennie and feel just like you do - inconsolable. I wake up sad, I go to sleep sad. The only time i have peace is when I am sleeping, but then I have to wake up. I too miss the many things Bennie and I did. There is a profound emptiness left behind. He was our soulmate. I still have another dog, Sunny, whom I love dearly, but Bennie was my soulmate. There will never be another like him. He left a big hole in my heart that can never be repaired. Today I am also profoundly sad, as you are. I can't seem to stop crying. Know that you are not alone. All of us here feel the same as you. Hugs and prayers to you.
Registered: 1207425572 Posts: 111
I know how hard it has been for you. Your words to your majestic little man wring so true for me as well. It will be 10 weeks for Hank, and you sound like you shared the same bond as my Hank and I did. It is really tough to fill the hole in your heart. Hankie was my soulmate too. I love my little Sarah girl, but there was something special about Hank that you only find once or twice, if you are lucky. I am sending you big hugs, Heather, Hank's forever mommy
Registered: 1197839779 Posts: 1,328
Blackie's adorable. It's amazing the things we miss after they're gone. Every darn thing! All of their little traits and signatures that make them so individual.
When my Puffy was alive, she would be half asleep, kinda resting and I would go up to her and pet her and she'd make the cutest little sound, like a uhm--to let me know she knows I'm there. Like "Hi mom." I actually taped this sound before she passed away so I could listen to it forever. Their little spirits are so sweet. Take care.
Registered: 1205715660 Posts: 763
Dear Kelly, I have said it before, but I have to say it again, your Blackie is just magnificent! What a beautiful boy! I understand how you feel. I can hear the sorrow in your words and I wish I could say something to help ease your pain. But, as you know, there are no magic words. Our little darlings take such a huge piece of our hearts when they must go. We have bad days and really bad days. I am feeling exactly the same about my beloved Mr. Meowgy. It has been 13 weeks and the loneliness may be getting worse. I have 5 other cats (all female) and none are as affectionate as my boy was. I miss him so much. I truly hope time will ease the pain for both of us and everyone else grieving for their babies.
Happy 11 week Bridge Day darling Blackie!
Donna, Mr. Meowgy's mom
Registered: 1198872932 Posts: 1,205
Happy bridge day darling. Your Mummy misses you so much, be sure to send her a big kiss.
Kelly darling, your Blackie is just so gorgeous, I just love black cats, there is something about them. Thinking of you, much love, Di xxx
Registered: 1208508336 Posts: 820
Hi I know iI have said this before but your Blackie looks just like my Rupert. I cried when I read your posting because I know what you are feeling. Rupert will have been gone 20 weeks tomorrow and some days it is so hard. I have never known the love of a cat like Rupert and his passing from kidney disease was so devasting. Everything you wrote in your post could have related to me. I miss the talking, companionship and the sleeping on the bed. He was a soppy old mummy's boy and I miss that so much. I still have his sister who is identical except half the size but she is not like him at all. Likes a cuddle but I think she has senile dementia as she howls at night. I wrote his life story to help me and that was very therapeudic and tearful and I enlarged his photos and I talk to them. I will probably never find another cat that I had that precious bond with again and I thank him for it. I never knew love like that from a cat and I miss it every day. Here's hoping we find comfort soon. Thinking of you Ruperts Mum
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
HAPPY BRIDGEDAY PRECIOUS BLACKIE!!
Your mom misses you so much. Please come and visit her in her dreams so she will know you are thriving and getting into mischief with all the other beloved kitties at the Bridge. You are so beautiful and elegant, little one. Dear Kelly, I know how bad the pain can be on these anniversaries, so my heart goes out to you. I just passed Betsy's fifth month BridgeDay and had a very hard time with it. I am feeling better today, as she paid me a dream visit last night. I am hoping you will have a beautiful dream visit soon. Hugs, Melissa Betsy's forever mom
Registered: 1205159567 Posts: 1,015
Dear Kelly – I’ve written this message to many of us here . . . time can be cruel & kind all at once, it is a blessing and a curse. . . You mention how you can’t believe it is 11 weeks, almost 3 months and I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. Today (Saturday, 6/14/08) marked 17 weeks (4 months, 1 week,) since my Rusty left me, and I ask the very same question. I look at his sweet, soulful eyes and I simply cry. My heartache is no less today than in was those 17 weeks ago. You wrote “I miss . . .” about your Blackie, and I did the very same thing some time ago in my journal, and I couldn’t believe that it simply kept going on and on . . . we miss them in every aspect, they are in our every thought. You and your Blackie shared a very special connection and that will never wane or fade. For me, it seems as if my love for Rusty has actually grown since he left me. It will never cease to amaze me how these earth angels touch our hearts and our spirits so deeply. Dear Blackie, please know that your mommy, Rufus & Squeeker all love and miss you so very much. They are sending you extra special love wishes today, your 11 th week anniversary at the bridge. Many warm hugs tonight Kelly. Rusty’s Mom – Allison.
Registered: 1197081544 Posts: 686
These "milestones" are so bittersweet. We have such fond memories, but there is also the sadness of all of the things we miss so much. Your beautiful Blackie will always be with you Thinking of you Kate (Gus' mom)