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twallace13

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Posts: 22
 #1 
It's been almost 3 weeks since I let Kitty go and it comes in waves. I'll be fine then I'll do something that reminds me of how she'd be right there. It's hard cooking because she always hung out in the kitchen while I cooked. I would talk to her while I cooked. Saying things like "what should we do next, what am I forgetting, where'd I'd put this or that", etc. Waiting for her to answer me and sometimes she would with a short meow. My chair seems so empty now without her in my lap. She was always right there with me. Always stretched across my lap claiming "her" spot. Night time is the worse. I dread going to bed. She was there for 16 yrs sleeping on my left side. During cold weather she would paw the covers to say "let me in". She'd go under the covers turn around and come lay her head on my arm. I miss that the most. I don't have children so she was my baby. The sunshine of my day. Just seeing her put a smile on my face. What I wouldn't give for just one more day. I love you Kitty and miss you more than words can express.I hope you know how much you were truly loved.
goofygirlinva

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Posts: 1,191
 #2 
Tina,

What you wrote could have easily been written by me for both my beloved Blackie and my precious Squeeker. They both loved to do all the things you wrote about, and after the immediacy of their passing faded, I found myself missing them all that much more whenever I would go through my daily routine, missing their presence with the little things that would occur here and there. The holidays and their gotcha days were often the hardest to get through because, in addition to celebrating the purpose of the holidays and all the blessings they bring, it was a stark reminder of what was no longer in my life. Thanksgiving has a special place in my heart and memories, because that was one of the first holidays Blackie and I shared. So whenever Thanksgiving comes around, it is a reminder of our first holiday and the fact that he is no longer with me. I still get tears in my eyes thinking of that first Thanksgiving we shared...

Hugs and peace to you as you navigate life without Kitty...

- Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 580
 #3 
Dearest Kitty's mom,

It doesn't matter if it 3 weeks or 3 years you will always miss the special moments that you shared with your fur baby.
I thought the same thing as you, it comes in waves and for awhile I think I'll be okay and then something you normally do reminds you that now that special moment is lonely because your fur baby isn't there. I was making an apple pie a few weeks ago and broke down crying because I don't like the crust and Termy was always there to eat it. Not this time. Just yesterday I was taking my other dog for a walk and had to find her coat and I came across Termy's sweater. UGH, I started crying.
I also want just one more day but we can't have them only in our hearts. We can get through all these moments, It'll never be easy but hold tight to those memories and never let them go because as long as we think about them and even cry they will always be close to us.
Hang on to them
Love and hugs
Termy's mom
twallace13

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #4 
Thank you for your kind words. It really helps knowing other people understand.
violetta

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Posts: 5
 #5 
Tina,

Facing loneliness where you once knew company is the hardest part of loss. I'm sure you've heard that time will heal all wounds, but right now it's still fresh and raw. Everybody heals in different ways, and adjusting to a sudden absence is jarring in a way that is hard to bounce back from. Regret and guilt and anything else you might feel are all perfectly normal regardless of how much time has passed. Your pain is justified and will not go unnoticed. 

When people die, they often do it with regret, or fear, looking back and wondering what else they could have done or the things they missed. Pets do not do the same. With you, Kitty never wanted for food or shelter or love - you gave her absolutely everything, and that's all she knew. With animals, that knowledge is permanent. She will have always known your love. There will never have been a day where she didn't know it. The culmination of the joy you found in her, and in turn the care you gave her will always be how she knew you. 

Take all the time you need to mourn. This is not an easy thing, and it will not pass easily. Remember her at her best, and remember that she loved you with all her heart, too. That's the gift pets give us, and it's something that can never be taken away from you.

All my love,
- vio
twallace13

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #6 
Thank you for the responses. It really does help.

This morning I found myself almost calling her name. My boyfriend had left for work so I was laying in bed by myself. For a split moment I forgot she was gone. This really stinks (only word I could think of).

Missing Kitty like crazy 🙁
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