Registered: 1152802356 Posts: 1,014
When I think of all that has happened since Hazel continued her life journey to Rainbow Bridge in 2004, it seems like an eternity. And then I miss her totally and completely and relive her loss all over again....
Hazel My Love It’s another busy day for her – Sun-basking to soak up bliss, Warm breezes to enjoy, Sweet butterflies to kiss – For me it’s another anniversary – Number four, how can this be? Only last week wasn’t she in my arms? Didn’t I kiss her, hold her close to me – Oh my baby girl, my heart weeps – You’re safe and happy now, I know, With angels who love you dearly, Still I cry…even so, even so… I send my love to you, my sweet – My grief has taken its toll, But I have the gift of your love, And my memories fill my soul. ©2008 Barbara E. Allen My girl in her younger, friskier days - she adored boxes - and baskets - and occupying the prime real estate in front of the porch doors - Always and ever with me, her soul shining from her aged face, full of grace and dignity - Mama loves you, baby girl, mama loves you. Barb xoxo maxandhazel.com
Registered: 1157170502 Posts: 457
Dear Barb......How wonderful to see your beloved "dust mop kitty" this morning.....Four long years without her to hold....I know how hard that has been for you....The words you write-- I send my love to you, my sweet – My grief has taken its toll, But I have the gift of your love, And my memories fill my soul. really touch me.....I often referred to my Kelsey Len as "My Sweets"..............And, it is so true that grief has taken its toll on those of us who love our pets as much as we love life itself.... My thoughts are with you today, and may your beautiful girl have more than her share of CHEETOS today.... Much love.............Kelsey's Mom (Ruth)
Registered: 1157206612 Posts: 1,604
Oh, Barb, I am so sorry; how could I have not marked this day? Your poem to your 'dustmop' kitty says it all; we know they're safe and healthy and happy, and we can wish no more for them, but we do still miss them, don't we? I like to think that Hazel is helping My Sweet Lady, a newcomer, all around the Bridge. Two gentle ladies, strolling side by side. . . . May the gentle love you share with Hazel fill your soul with softness today. Happy, Happy Bridgeday, Miss Hazel Buttercup!
Registered: 1178570509 Posts: 1,288
No matter how long it may be we never stop loving them, once they have been with us they will stay in our hearts forever. Hazel is so very lovely in all of her very regal poses. Your poem describes the love you have for your Hazel so well. It was perfect... As with any loss it hurts to know that we have "moved" on in our lives and they are not a part of it. In our perfect world they would always be with us... Bless you Barb for sharing Hazel's day with us, Helen
Registered: 1159971459 Posts: 347
What a beautiful poem to go along with Hazel's precious pictures! Time does march on and we hang on tight to our memories.....and hang on to ALL that love they gave us. Thinking of you and your *Hazel* today......and hoping you will find comfort in all your special memories........Tuckers Mum
Registered: 1172601354 Posts: 445
Barb that was lovely and the pictures are precious.
Registered: 1157197996 Posts: 218
Dear Barb, Hugs for all the pain. But this is why and how we met. Tyger's illness in 2004 bought me to Petloss ... and there you were. I don't know what bought you to Petloss, but so glad we met .... you have been a continual blessing to my life since then .. with all the wonderful gifts you give so freely to others. Hugs x
Registered: 1160702030 Posts: 847
Oh, how confusing time gets for us when our beloved babies have to leave us. It seems like another lifetime that we had the joy of their physical presence, yet time has been elusive since I remember the three year conversation you had with Hazel. I adore the pictures of the 'frisky' Hazel on top of the box (they like boxes whether they are inside of them or on top as demonstrated by Miss Hazel Buttercup) and I have to smile at her in the basket: Silly, Silly, Kitty in a Basket, Daydreaming about Cheetos- I thought you said Chicken in a Biscuit- Well maybe, now that you ask it! Aw, that wasn't so creative but I had to smile when I saw her cozied up in there. But may Hazel have a bountiful party tray set out with all their favorite things, and butterflies and flowers all around.
I know how much you miss your very special girl, she has filled your heart with so much love and happy memories to carry you along as you continue your earthly journey. She must be very proud of her dear mama and all you have done for helping to heal broken hearts. Bless your precious girl Hazel.
Love always, Tweeny's Anna Beautiful 4 Year Bridgeday, Miss Hazel Buttercup
Registered: 1157507147 Posts: 106
my thoughts are with you during this difficult time....no matter how long they have been at the bridge, they are never far from our hearts and we will never forget the bond we share with them..... love and hugs Becky
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
Your poem to Hazel is beautiful. On March 20th Christopher will have been gone for a year. The pain is still overwhelming and I still cry for him every day. I know that 4 years from now I will be here just like you, missing him just as much as I do today. Love is truly Forever. They will Always be Safe in our Hearts. You are in my Prayers on this very difficult day. HAPPY 4 YEAR BRIDGE DAY SWEET HAZEL. I HOPE YOU HAD A WONDERFUL DAY AND I HOPE CHRISTOPHER HELPED YOU CELEBRATE. PLEASE TELL CHRISTOPHER THAT I LOVE HIM. BIG HUGS GEORGEANN AND CHRISTOPHER FOREVER
Registered: 1157268148 Posts: 555
Dear Barb, Your Hazel is so beautiful. You have been blessed with wonderful memories that will be a part of your heart always. She shares those memories with you as she watches over you from Rainbow Bridge. With every passing day her love for you grows even stronger and she smiles on you with such pride. She always knew what a special person you really are. Now as she watches you help so many other hurting hearts she sees her dream come true. Her Mom sharing her heart with people all over this world. May the peace and comfort you give to others bring that same peace and comfort to your heart as you think of your special angel. Love and Peace, AurichWolf Kathy
Registered: 1152828339 Posts: 747
The love for your precious Hazel shows through in your message to her... I know how time heals but never diminishes the love we have for our babies... The bond we share with these wonderful furkids is never broken. Hugs to you on her 4th bridgeday (sorry I was late - have been busy with Toby)... Cindy
Registered: 1157268075 Posts: 909
Dear Barb, I know how much you miss your precious Hazel. I just love the pictures and the captions under them. I know just as in your poems they are together again basking in the rainbow colored light.
Dustmop Kitty Where did you come from, little dustmop kitty? Where were you before you showed up in the rain? I will forever remember your eyes, looking in at me, So frightened and pleading, full of pain. At first I said, no, no more cats in this house. I’m not going through that again. You looked at me, and I don’t know how, But suddenly you were inside, and my heart was wide open. What a character you were! I never knew a cat like you. You had been hurt and abandoned, but still you came. You helped your human boys grow up, strong and true. You washed away tears, and you played with trains. You climbed Christmas trees, and you chattered at birds. You slept in the curl of blankets behind my knees. As each new cat strolled in, you hurled unladylike words, Then sighed, and made room, grumpily. You were the queen, of course, Her Royal Highness, And you never let anyone forget it. But you were also my dear little friend, my little mess, So much like me, fearful and shy, but you never quit. You stayed with me through everything, And as you grew older, you slowed down, But you still helped me think and garden and sing. You were still my beautiful strawberry blond. I remember the morning when your time came. And the last breath left your furry body. You lay so still, and I stroked your neck, Whispered goodbyes and asked you to wait for me. We grew old together, didn’t we, my girl? We watched seasons change and boys grow to men. (This last made your fur and my hair curl.) We were together – and we will be again. But for now, I miss you, little girl, more than these poor words can say. I know you’re happy. I know you’re safe and whole. I know God needed you to help Him rule the night and the day. But I miss you, my dear little dustmop kitty, my kindred soul. I miss you. ©Barbara Allen 2004 Two years...three months...an eternity Hello my baby girls, how are you, And how do you feel these days... I miss you both, you know, And all your dear kitty ways – Hazel, my princess, you were there To greet our sweet Cully – I saw you waiting with the others In a circle, patiently, quietly – I am so proud of you, my strawberry blond, You bore your own death with grace And strength I know I do not have – Your perfect soul shining in your face – And now you’ve been gone two long years, Things have changed too much, I see you now and then – do you hear me speak? I reach out – I hope you feel my touch... Cully, sweetheart, I look often at your grave. I hate to think that you are gone, But then you give me a glimpse as you brush by - And I know you are still my baby girl, my own – Do you know how much I miss Those soft nudges and little sighs? Your fur, soft as a baby bird’s? The love in your golden eyes? I am proud of you, too, my love, And the way you dealt with life – How you shared everything with everyone, And stayed your own gentle self. I know you’ve found one another, And all my other babies, too, Two years for Hazel, three months for Cully, An eternity in my soul – my grief renews.... Please remember me, my girls – I will always be your mother, And for ever and ever I will cherish you – We will meet again, my daughters in fur.... ©2006 Barbara Allen Two years, three months – what? So Cully and Hazel were strolling along (Because now they were the best of friends, All the name-calling of the past was gone), And Hazel said, “Well, Cully, how were your first few months at the bridge?” Cully paused to give it some thought (No sense changing the way of a lifetime – Some old habits are worth keeping), And she replied, “What’s a month?” Now it was Hazel’s turn to ponder the question (Having finally learned patience, Not her strong suit whilst on earth), And she answered, “Oh, you know, Mom’s time.” Then they both cast their gaze to earth (Because they were always there, with Mom, Whether she knew it or not), And together they purred, “We love it here, Mother dear, You should come, too – There’s no such thing as time, Only each perfect day and night anew. And when you step across the bridge, Even though it may be some time yet, (“Whatever that is,” whispered Cully) Just carry us in your heart, And know that we do not forget.” I went up to read your poems and just had to post them here on Pet Loss for everyone to see. Happy Bridge Day Sweet Hazel Love and Hugs, Carol
Registered: 1157146605 Posts: 1,038
My dear Barb, Forever Beloved Miss Hazel Buttercup's Mama,A very wise woman here told me there is a special place at The Bridge for all the Orange Angels. In the prime real estate there I am sure and I know your Hazel, your beloved Chatty Catty, is the most celebrated guest of honor at the Orange Table at the Old Ladies' Tea Party often but especially on the day marking her birth into Eternity. Her soul indeed shining in her eyes and her face, luminous with love. She almost looks ethereal in that picture and I see so much there. A life well-lived. A life well-loved. May that love always be with you surrounding you with comfort.
I don't have any words, just tears, to share with you missing your beloved Strawberry Blond girl, Hazel. Your poignant and beautiful poem for her takes my breath away thinking it is 4 years for her and understanding what you mean by saying it already feels like an eternity. When we first let them go on ahead of us the pain is horrific and each minute, each hour, each day we live on Earth without them feels like an eternity. Then one day we look up again and realize how long in Earth-time they physically have been gone from us and it takes our breath away again. It feels like losing them all over again. Time is strange like that and I think of the poem you wrote called "Time" and of it being a two-edged sword. Time eases the pain but it never takes away completely. It is just we get better living with our loss but the love and our souls' connection with each other truly are forever. Nothing can change that. Not time. Not space. Thank you so very much for showing us yours and Hazel's forever connection. Your little muse continues to comfort us all through your beautiful words and your love for each other. I love each one of Hazel's pictures, Barb. The ones of her in a box and in a basket are especially close to my heart as I have a little box boy and a bag girl at the Bridge. And I love the one of her perched proudly in the prime real estate surveying her domain but it is the last one which always makes me cry. Much love with my inadequate words and many tears, Colleen For Barb ~ Cat Heaven ~ Cynthia Rylant The way to Cat Heaven is a field of sweet grass where crickets and butterflies play. A cat may be late in getting to Heaven . . . there's so much fun on the way! But an angel will wait at the yellow front door, wait ‘til a kitty comes home. And when she arrives, he'll give her a kiss and some milk in a bowl all her own. There are trees in Cat Heaven, trees made just for cats, trees growing so green and so high. But no one gets stuck in a tree anymore -- if a cat wants down, she will fly! And oh the toys, kitty toys everywhere, thousands and thousands go by. There are buttons and baubles and small cotton mice -- there is catnip afloat in the sky! There are angels, of course, with soft angel laps where kitties can purr loud and strong. The angels will rub kitties' noses and ears and sing them a Cat Heaven song. And when cats are hungry, there's God's kitchen counter all covered with white kitty dishes, full of tuna and salmon and mounds of sardines, and wonderful little pink fishes. The cats in Cat Heaven are so loved and spoiled God lets them all lie on his bed . . . He walks in His garden with a good black book and a kitty asleep on His head. Then when a cat needs, she may just simply ponder and watch the blue world deep and wide . . . She will watch the old house where she once lived and wandered, and the people who loved her inside. All cats love Heaven, they know the way there, they know where the angel cats fly. They'll run past the stars and the moon and the sun . . . . . . to curl up with God in the sky.
Registered: 1157392046 Posts: 1,040
Dear Barb,What a beautiful tribute to your beautiful Hazel,The years go by so fast and yet it seems like yesterday when we lost them,My Sammy sus has been at the bridge for 4 yrs.also I hope her and Hazel are the best of friends.I know Hazel had a most delightful party,and was such a gracious hostess,I hear from the Bridge that Hazel is just a sweet heart to everyone and takes such good care of the kitties in here care.I hope her special day was not to hard on you,they have a way of bringing tears I guess that is why God leaves us with so many beautiful precious memories to relive. Take care and know I'am thinking about you. "Many Hugs & Butterfly Kisses To Sweet Hazel (YOU LITTLE DOLL) JoAnn Sammy Sus's Mom
Registered: 1201648552 Posts: 846
Wow Barb, all I can say is your poem really touched me. It's so beautiful, and such a wonderful tribute to your kitty.
Blessings to you! Luna's forever mom
Registered: 1190291298 Posts: 228
Hazel's pictures are so very sweet. I can see how much you miss her in your words written to her. My thoughts are with you.
Registered: 1152802356 Posts: 1,014
Ruth ~ how nice to hear from you and to read that you called Kelsey Len "My Sweets," too. I don't think I knew that before. The grief has forever changed us, hasn't it? I know neither one of us would trade a second's time with our girls, though - the grief is worth it to have had these dear souls in our lives. Many hugs to you, Ruth. Sharon ~ You already know that I think Lady has been spending time with Hazel, and with Cully, too...our little old ladies picking their way deliberately, savoring scents and breezes, in their perfect state. You have been a true Godsend to me, Sharon, and I count you daily among my blessings. Helen ~ You are so right when you say that "it hurts to know that we have 'moved' on in our lives and they are not a part of it." I think that is one of the hardest aspects of grief and loss. Even when we know our furries have also moved on and are now experiencing perfect health and happiness, we still want them with us. This is a hard journey, but it is made less painful with the presence of friends like you. Tuckers Mum ~ Thank you for reading Hazel's poem and enjoying her photos. She was with me for such a long time that I am still surprised when I see the photos of her in her younger days. I thought of her as an old lady for several years before she died, and viewing her as a young, fluffy girl still makes me catch my breath. Maybe she and Tucker are sharing Cheetos. :) Judy ~ I appreciate your reply - knowing that someone has read Hazel's post and appreciated her pictures is very special to me. It's as though she is still able to affect others, and I really like feeling that. She was a grumpy gal here sometimes who loved to run the show - it tickles me to think that she still reaches out a paw to touch others. Mags ~ Oh, Mags, thank you for the hugs for the pain. And thank you for the reminder that this is how and why we met. You are so right, and I am glad to be reminded of that. I knew you are a special soul as soon as I read your updates to Tyger's vigil. You have mentored me and inspired me, and I love thinking that Tyger and Hazel brought us together. They are undoubtedly quite smug about it all. Anna ~ Thank you for the verse you wrote - I have enjoyed it repeatedly. It makes me smile every time I read it! Your comment about the way time gets confusing is right on target. There are periods of my life that are very strange in my recall of them. I seem to be able to remember details and even sequences, but sometimes things seem to have happened quickly and then other times to have dragged on forever. It must be a by-product of the intense emotions...and grief has its own time table, regardless. Our girlies surely sniff the flowers together. Becky ~ Thank for the post and for your big hug (feels really good!). You are so right - the bond never fades. They are truly a part of our hearts eternally. I appreciate that you read Hazel's post and took the time to respond. Georgeann ~ I knew Christopher's one-year date was coming up but didn't realize it is so soon. The one-year mark is very hard, I think, because all the "firsts" are past. The gap of time and the fact that it is irretrievable can be extremely painful. But there is a relief in having the "firsts" over with - our love never fades so we carry them no matter how much time passes. And I loved reading what you wrote: "They will Always be Safe in our Hearts." So true. My heart is with you as you move through this difficult month. Kathy ~ What a lovely graphic you made, Kathy! Hazel in my heart - big smile from me. :)) And you offered me a sweet thought when you said that Hazel's dream-come-true was to see her mom sharing her heart. Much of my poetry is inspired by my furry little muse, and I have long felt that Hazel's old-soul wisdom guides my attempts to help others. Thank you for yur wishes of peace and comfort - I wish the same for you, too, my sister wolf. Cindy ~ Thank you for taking time out of your care-taking schedule with dear Toby. It is very special to me to see your name in Hazel's topic. Time eventually gets enough mileage under its belt that we are able to cope better with the grief, but, yes, it never diminishes our love and the bonds that we have woven. Hugs back atcha! Carol ~ Thank you for the sweet graphic of Cully and Hazel together. I love those poses because they are so typical of many earthly hours for my girls. Cully adored watching the squirrels, and would be carefully tracking them, even while she was sitting near me, purring. Hazel loved butterflies but if I were nearby, she would be watching me. Many memories for me when I look at those poses. And thank you for reprinting some of Hazel's poems. I'm sure she is a little puffed up with all the attention. :) Colleen ~ Thank you, dear heart, for your words. I know how hard it was for you to release them from your own pain, and I am very grateful for them. There surely is a special corner at the Bridge for box boys and bag girls (or vice versa). I can just picture the sparkling eyes peeking out from these enticing hidey places, and all the pouncing that must surely go on. I think I can even hear the crinkle of the paper bags. :) I don't remember ever reading Cynthia Rylant's wonderful poem before - thank you for sharing that - such lovely imagery and beautiful words! Joann ~ It is always a treat to see Sammy sus's perky face on your posts. Don't you love picturing our babies healthy and strong now? They are as perfect after 4 years as they were when they first stepped paw at the bridge. It is so comforting to me to think of them never aging, never getting sick, never ever having a bad moment again. This has been a hard, hard year for you, Joann, and yet you still come to petloss to offer comfort and share your thoughts. Thank you, and God bless you, dear one. Luna's forever mom ~ Thank you for your reply to Hazel's 4-year post. It is so very meaningful to me when I read that my poems have touched someone. You see, I am convinced that my furries are also my muses, and so when a poem makes a connection for someone, it is as though my babies are also making that connection. The great circle of life, I guess...thank you for being in it with me. Saint ~ Thank you for the compliment about my Hazel. I wish I had more photos (don't we all!) because even though I treasure the ones I have, they still don't do her justice. I would call her my strawberry blond - she is a beautiful, beautiful girl. I've never seen another cat with that combination of white, cream, red, and orange. I appreciate your thoughts and send you mine in return. And to all who read but did not reply, thank you for your presence. We are all in this together, and our combined energies provide healing, comfort, and strength, even without words. Bless all our babies, and bless you who come to this site - Barb
Registered: 1157852068 Posts: 1,001
Dear Dear Barb,
I am so so sorry that I missed your post but I have been unable to be on the board for a bit with so much going on with my mother's health and a lot of other issues but I often wander on and I saw your beautiful post to your cherished little girl. It is amazing how your loving poetic words not only express your brilliant & amazing love for Hazel but also bring so much peace to myself and others. Your kindness flows from your heart where Hazel lives until you meet again. Such a beautiful forever love & bond~ My heart strings are attached to this board and even when I am away for a while, I find my way back because the Love that is here is so amazing and even through the sadness there is a light that flickers and glows in every one of us. Sending you my love and to your beautiful Hazel who is safe & loved by the Angels until you meet again. Love, Max's mom Jo
Registered: 1157161422 Posts: 32
Four years can seem an eternity... but at the same time just yesterday they were here with us. I know you still miss your precious girl- We are coming up on 4 years with Willie this summer and it just does not seem possible. Thinking of you during this time of remembrances- Wendy (Willie's mom)
Registered: 1157296856 Posts: 438
Time passes us by so quickly, but it seems like yesterday. 4 years??? I wouldn't believe it, except Scruffy was gone three this past year. I still cry and greive for my little baby. I will miss her for as long as I live. I guess time does not heal all wounds. Everyone tries to help, it is their nature, but unless you have been there, you can't explain it. A piece of your heart is missing, never to be replaced. If we didn't love so strongly, we wouldn't be so sad. We are lucky to have had such love in our lives. Some humans never do. You are in my prayers tonight. Love, Bev
Registered: 1158037233 Posts: 37
Dearest Barb: I'm so glad that I came to the message board today to read and reply to your post for Hazel. Wow, Barb, 4 years for your little Dustmop baby!! Just doesn't seem possible, does it? I do love seeing the pictures of Hazel that range from her childhood to her senior years ... such a beautiful little girl. My absolute favorite is the very last picture. She just looks so content and so very wise. Reading all of the poems that you wrote also brought back memories of the early days of our grief journeys where so many of us struggled on together to make some sense of what we were all going through. Although you may not realize it, your beautiful, heart-felt words brought such peace to my heart. Thank you so much for the part you played in my healing. Blessings from my heart to yours, my friend, as you remember all that was and continues to be so wonderful about your precious Hazel. Warm hugs. Joan - Buddy's Mum Buddy - Rainbow Bridge Angel July 09, 2003
Registered: 1152802356 Posts: 1,014
Jo and gorgeous Max ~So many beautiful photos of the two of you, but that is one of my favorites. I'm so glad you posted it. Thank you for your kind words - over the past several months I've been thinking about that "light that flickers and glows in every one of us," and it was delightful to read your thoughts, so in tune with mine. Take care, my friend - I send you my thoughts and prayers -
Wendy ~ Every time I see a basset or someone posts here about a basset, I think of your sweet Willie, and I remember your grief journey, so interwoven with mine. What a horrible summer that was, and yet what wonderfully life-changing things happened for us. Making friends here, learning what death truly is, knowing that our babies are safe and healthy now... It's been a long road and it still has its moments of grief and loss, but it's all been made easier by friends like you. Bev ~ I remember when you arrived at Petloss, and I remember your beloved Scruffy. Her name has always made me smile. I'm like you, not sure that time does anything to heal wounds, but at least we get better at dealing with the wounds. How can we ever say it is healed when it is our hearts which are torn? And yet the edges do smooth over a bit, and our hearts grow to make room for new babies sometimes, too. We are blessed, aren't we? And I have been blessed with friends like you. Thank you! Joan ~ Every time I see Bud's happy face and his flying ears, I smile. What a happy, loved sweetheart! Don't you picture him racing up and down the lanes at the bridge with those ears flying out? I know I do. :) Thank you, Joan, for the part *you* played in *my* healing - I don't know where I would be without all the compassion and support from you and others like you. Barb
Registered: 1157341655 Posts: 452
Although I'm very late with this message to you for sweet Hazel's 4th Bridgeday, I just wanted to write a few words.
It's been amazing these years that have passed with the wonderful friendships that have formed. Out of each of our great losses, came these truly 'golden' friendships here at Petloss. I am so honoured to know you and how very much your Hazel was blessed to be 'your girl.'
That last photo of Hazel, she seems to be saying, 'I'm such a loving, strong girl, but my journey on earth is nearly over and it's time to go to another place and share my love differently.' Your memories of times shared with her must be so very sweet in your heart.
Blessings to you, and your fur-angel, Hazel,
Wendy (Decker's mom)
Registered: 1159807262 Posts: 139
Please accept my apologies for a very, very belated 4 year anniversary wish. I love the poem you wrote to dustmop kitty Miss Hazel Buttercup. I agree, even after 4 years, the original pain, with all of it's depth and trauma can still be felt. This is one reason I find it hard to check in. You are a wonderful soul and Hazel was blessed to have you. Thinking of you both, and knowing that you truly do travel this universe together, even if you can't "see" her. The silver cord that binds you through time and space can never be broken. HAPPY BELATED 4 YEARS HAZEL! Love, Candice