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scrucitti24

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Posts: 6
 #1 
Around the month of June, my dear cat Wilson was diagnosed with CKD. As the months went on he has progressively got worse, his vet has said that he’s in the final stages of CKD. He’s lost weight and has not acted like himself at all. He’s very restless, drinkers large amounts of water, and meows very loudly throughout the night and day. It’s very sad and heartbreaking to me, I’ve had him since he was a tiny 8 week old kitten and now he’s slowly dying and not the spunky little cat I’ve had for 6 years.
The vet has said that putting him down is on the table as there isn’t anything else they can really do for him :( ...I feel so guilty I feel like there was something more than i could have done for him. I don’t want to let him go. How do you know it’s time to make that decision? I don’t want to make it to early and loose having more days with him. I’m so sad and cry all day and look at pictures of him when he was healthy and just wish I could go back to that time. Please someone give me some advice ☹️
VT

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Posts: 32
 #2 
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. It is so upsetting to see your little buddy wind down and start to struggle or suffer.

My dog died a few weeks ago, however I didn't get the choice to put him down. He had chronic bronchitis that was slowly progressing but he was doing great. Unfortunately a few days after being told he was doing great he took a horrible turn and died alone at the vet while being treated. I would give anything to have been there and to have been given the chance to give him a peaceful send off.

From reading people's posts here, it seems you'll feel guilty regardless. I'm so torn up about his last hours. I can't imagine how hard it will be but I think in the long run you'll feel better if you let your sweetheart drift off to sleep in your arms.

All the best to you both. Some dark days ahead but get in all the cuddles you can!!
goofygirlinva

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Posts: 1,191
 #3 
Hi Samantha,

I'm so sorry you are going through this! I had a kitty - my beloved Blackie - that went through CKD, so I understand what you are going through. The decline can be so gradual that you don't really realize what happened until all is over. For Blackie, he was down to under 8 pounds by the time he passed away. I always struggled to get him up to a good weight, so he was always a skinny kitty while I had him. But I did not realize until he had passed away just how much weight he'd lost.

You asked how do you know when it is time. For Blackie, he was the first of my cats that passed away while under my care. Looking back on it, I now know he was nearing his time here on earth when he started hiding and did not want to eat his food. He was letting me know he'd had enough, that he didn't have the energy or desire to eat and that he wanted to be by himself. Unfortunately, he passed away in my car on the way to the emergency vet in the middle of the night, so I did not have to make that final decision for him. 

With Squeeker, he let me know very clearly that he'd had enough and that it was time to let him go. Squeeker had a cancerous tumor in his mouth, and it made eating very painful. I fed him through a feeding tube the last 3 months of his life, and after awhile, he was simply too exhausted from fighting cancer and all that went with it to keep going. He put up a very strong and valiant fight, but when he started hiding from me and just had no interest in being fed through the feeding tube, I knew it was time. He gave me "that look" more than once, but after most of those looks, he seemed to rally. But there came that day when I let him out in my back yard for some sunshine and fresh air, something he always loved and always asked for, and all he did was slowly walk over to the basketball pad that is in my back yard. Then he just stayed there, looking weak and in pain and not at all like the healthy, vibrant cat I knew and loved for over 9 years. That was when I knew it was time to let him go. So I made the appointment, and gave him the final act of love to release him from his pain and let him fly free with the angels.

I knew it was the right thing to do because he just didn't have the interest in the things he usually loved to do, and he didn't have the energy to keep going. His walk, which always had a lovely bounce and spring to it, was slow and measured. His eyes looked tired. It was difficult to get him to purr for me, and this was a cat that purred up a storm the first time we met and kept going until his last days. It was always so easy to get Squeeker to purr - I usually only had to look at him and smile and he would purr for me. But when I could no longer get him to easily purr for me, that was another sign it was time to let him go.

In the meantime, get all the pictures and videos of your kitty as you can. You will eventually come to treasure those pictures and videos as you look back on the life the two of you shared.

Hugs and comfort to you as you make this difficult decision for your beloved Wilson.

- Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom

HeartBroken12

Registered:
Posts: 158
 #4 
Dear scrucitti24,
So sorry for the struggle and pain you are going through! May I ask what happened since you started this post?
scrucitti24

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #5 
Today is the day we are going to put my sweet boy down ☹️ I am so sad and can’t picture my life without him, but I know it’s the best possible decision for him. This will be the first time I’ve had to put a pet down and I’m not prepared for it, but it’s something I must do ☹️ When will the pain of loosing him go away?
CJ2010

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #6 
scrucitti24  I am so very sorry for your loss.  We also lost our 4 1/2 yr old kitty Pumpkin to CKD in Mar of this yr.  I still miss him terribly even though we have 5 other cats and a dog.  He was my little buddy up until the end.  Grieving is different for everyone so please don't let anyone tell you when it is time to get over it or move on.  If you have supportive family or friends, lean on them and let them help you in any way possible.  Please know that there is nothing else you could have done.  CKD is an ugly disease and once the kidneys start shutting down there is nothing left to do.  I also struggled up until the very end wondering if we had done all we could and our vet assured me we had.  There were other treatment options we could have tried besides the fluids and special diet but they were too expensive and in the end they would not have given him any more time.  Just try your best to remember the good times with him and that you did what was best for him, hard as it was.  
Ganesha

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #7 
If your kitty has not yet gone - then please try giving him Aloe Vera. It will help
You can buy it on Amazon - Georges Aloe Vera juice.

If he has gone to the next world - then please make your peace with your self and his spirit will guide you henceforth.
Much love.
scrucitti24

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #8 
We sent him to the angles last night. My heart is in so much pain- I miss him so much. My house is not the same without him, even though we have 2 other cats and a dog. They are all sad as well. I never thought this day would have come so soon. I think I hear him in the house and wait to see him walk down the stairs but I know he never will. I still have that image of him just laying on the table at the vet just ready to go. I feel like my heart will never heal. I wish remembering the good times with him didn’t break my heart so much. It’s so hard to think of the pain he was in, I wish he never had to experience any of it. Ugh my poor Wilson. I feel so lost and so sad ☹️☹️
twinkiesmom

Registered:
Posts: 839
 #9 
Scrucitti24,
I am so sorry for your loss of Wilson. I saw your post as soon as I logged in to Petloss just now. My Bailey kitty was diagnosed with CKD several years before her condition worsened to the point of euthanization. The last several months of her life she saw the vet every three weeks and the doctor said I would know when it was time. I can tell you from experience it is better to release our fur kids a day sooner than a day too late. On a Tuesday she ate a few morsels but she was very small and sometimes did not eat every meal so I kept offering food throughout the day. She was always my lap baby and did not want to be held at all that day. That should have been the first sign telling me it was time but I just did not "get it". The next morning she crashed and I rushed her to the vet for the last time. Bailey shared my life for sixteen years and I felt as if my heart was being ripped out.

I wish there were words to say to make your pain easier but all we can do is express our sorrow and offer comfort and support. We all muddle through each day, waiting for a time for our aching hearts to heal even though we do not believe that day will ever come. But it does come, one day we realize our tears lessen and we are able to smile as we remember all the happy times we shared with our babies. And we realize that nothing can truly take our babies away, they live on in our hearts. I and many others here at Petloss believe we will be with our babies again never to be parted from them, when our earthly life is over. That makes my heart lighter and the pain of separation a little more bearable. Please take care. We are here whenever you need us.

oliverj

Registered:
Posts: 155
 #10 
I am so so sorry to hear of your sad loss of Wilson. I am sorry for you and I am
sorry for him to be gone so soon. I know it is especially cruel and hard to imagine that such a thing could happen to your young boy. I lost my darling Dickens to some type of horrible kidney disease when he was just 6 1/2. The vet thought it was renal lymphoma but we will never know for sure as we too put him to sleep rather than have him suffer so. This was just over two years ago and although I have had to learn to live with it, I still suffer from the horror and sadness of it. I wish there was something I could say to help you in your pain other than to tell you our story and say you are not alone. I cannot explain how or why this could happen but I know how you loved Wilson and did what you could
For him in such horrible circumstances. A difficult journey lies ahead for you now so please keep writing here or come to the chat room. Collect your memories and photos of Wilson. Try to take care of yourself and drink plenty of water as grief and crying is very dehydrating. Try to eat little meals if you can. My heart goes out to you and your boy. Minda
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