Petloss.com Logo. Puff and Midget under the rainbow

ALL the Pet Loss Message Boards are moderated to make this an ABSOLUTELY SAFE place for you to find support.
You must REGISTER before you can post or reply.
Posts and replies cannot be viewed until after they have been checked for content & released by the Board Moderators. - EdW
Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
Sign up  |   |   |  Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
Feathers

Registered:
Posts: 12
 #1 
I am new to this and have never written on a website before. But I am having a terrible time trying to accept my African Gray parrot's death last week.
I adopted him 7 years ago from a bird rescue. He had been with the original owner for 15 years, until she ended up in a nursing home. He was grieving for a her and started breaking his feathers in half.
He bonded with me within days and I had found my best friend.
His death was totally unexpected. I was at the vet with him for a nail trim as I had every 8 weeks for 7 years, the same vet. After his nail trim he looked a little stressed so I took him to the car and put the air conditioner on to help cool him. Within 1 minute he raised his head and wings and made a soulful cry and then slowly laid his head down in death.
I ran back inside the vet office and they gave him meds to help start his heart and oxygen but he never revived. I can't get this picture out of my head and I am crying all the time since it happened. I know this happens once in a while. The vet said he must have had some metabolic issue going on.
I miss him so much and needed to share this with people who truly understand.
Riley2018

Registered:
Posts: 55
 #2 
Oh Feathers, I am so so sorry to hear of your loss.  I had a small African Meyers parrot once--he had a huge personality.  I'm sure your African Grey had an even bigger personality with a large vocabulary as well.  I know I lost a parakeet that way--he just died at the vet while they were doing something routine.  It does not make it easy no matter what.  You've come to the right place though and know that many people you know will not understand your grief at all--not even close.  It's something most of us have found out.

It's going to be hard, in fact for me, losing my Riley was the hardest, most painful thing I have ever gone through, but just let yourself cry and grieve on your own terms.  And the grief comes in waves and you may feel like you are getting a little better weeks or months from now and then bam, it will hit again.  If you read through many of these threads, you will see you are in good company and we all understand how hard it is to lose an amazing animal companion.

Riley's mom
Feathers

Registered:
Posts: 12
 #3 
Thank you so much for your support. Honestly, my husband and I thought he would outlive us, as they can live 60 years and he died at 21years. We had included him in our will with money for future care and my nephew who is in wildlife management offered to take him . My husband is 66 and I am 65 so we decided not to get another one. We still have a Quaker parrot and a parakeet and they are up in age.
We also have 2 Himalayan cats and 2 sugar gliders as well.
But Petey, having the mind of a 3year old, made us laugh all the time with the sentences words and phrases he would come with.
My husband's favorite was when I was learning to play a Celtic harp. I thought Petey would enjoy it but as soon as I started to play he yelled "help, help".
So much for my playing.
I cried all day again today, in big sobs at times.
I can't thank you enough for your kind words. They really did help. I'm sorry for the loss of your birds as well. Many people don't understand how we can grieve over a bird. We have had dogs and cats during our 43 year marriage and I grieve just as much for my birds.
Terry
Feathers

Registered:
Posts: 12
 #4 
Hi Riley's mom,
I just wrote a reply but I don't see it. Does it take a while to get back to you?

Riley2018

Registered:
Posts: 55
 #5 
Yeah, Feathers, it does take a while for your posts to post.
cyberghostx13

Registered:
Posts: 448
 #6 
Wow, I am so very sorry about your loss. I will post again soon as I have to go. Just to let you know I lost my Rockie(Tymneh African Grey) a couple years ago. You are not alone, and please feel free to message me. Kerry(Rockie@Rainbow).
Feathers

Registered:
Posts: 12
 #7 
Thank you so much Kerry.
cyberghostx13

Registered:
Posts: 448
 #8 
Well I'm back. I am retired and live alone now that my Rockie had passed. Rockie had become very sick very quickly and after about 5 hours motionless Rockie passed in my lap while I sat on the couch, the gleam in Rockie's eyes gone forever. I was in shock and it took all of my strength and fire that first week just to try and keep my physical health from deteriating and to not give up mentally either. The latter was by far the hardest. I am sure you are going thru a similar situation. I hope you have supportive family and friends and it helps if you have another pet as well, I had none of these. I had to rely on my a experience as a USMC Vietnam Combat Veteran to help keep me tough and strong, however even that by itself wasn't enough. I had to be creative and I had to get out of the house more and try new things and new adventures. I also watched a lot of sports, comedy, science, nature, and history to help deal with my tragic loss. Finally, if you want to know more details then check my profile and my main topic "Rockie Tymneh African Grey Parrot, it's an almost daily diary for the first year.

Again I am so sorry for your loss, but you will get thru it, but the tragedy will never go away from your life 100%, however you counter with all of your great memories that you had together. Kerry(Rockie@Rainbow).
Mother_of_gliders1

Registered:
Posts: 13
 #9 
Feathers, Kerry and Riley' s mom; I'm so sorry for your losses. I lost my Green cheek conjure Pele a little less than 2 years ago. I'd had her for just over 30 years. One of the things that made it especially hard was I had lost my mother only a few months before that. You are not alone. Kerry I agree with you that keeping active helps. I've recently had to have my beloved sugar glider, that I hand raised put to sleep. If I didn't have my other gliders I probably wouldn't have a reason to get up until I had to go to work. Hugs to all of you.
cyberghostx13

Registered:
Posts: 448
 #10 
Well thanks for your post and comments. It's been a little over three years since Rockie's passing and life has been pretty good. I mean I still miss Rockie a whole lot and I am still alone with no family or a pet. I won't have another pet because of my age and I am retired with a fixed income, not enough resources to take care of a pet, it just wouldn't be fair. So I lean on all the great memories that I had about Rockie and myself. I am so happy it's springtime and time for adventures outside doing my bike and hikes. I just love the sunshine and warm temperatures as it helps give me a little extra spark to get myself going and go out and appreciate life. I won't let myself be depressed that stuff just makes you feel bad and leads to dumb decisions and feeling sorry for myself. Life goes on and hey I'm 69 years old, so as Janis Joplin used to sing, "Get It While You Can". I don't know your physical capabilities but a bike ride out in the sunshine and checking out new places is always refreshing and uplifting. Hope all is well with you, at least considering the circumstance. Well that's it for now, cya.
Feathers

Registered:
Posts: 12
 #11 
I want to thank you for your timely message!
You have ESP or the Universe felt my sorrow and knew I needed a heartfelt message.
Since the horror of watching Petey, my African Grey parrot, die in October after a heart attack minutes after a nail trim at the vet, I have had another pet loss.
Scooter, my 5 year old Himalayan cat, had to be euthanized after 3 hospitalizations in the month of January 2019. He developed a UTI which was resistant to every antibiotic they had tried so far. We visited him everyday of the total 12 days.
They vet called on a Saturday evening on her hospital rounds to say he needed 24 hour observation and since it was a weekend I needed to take him to the specialty animal hospital over an hour away. My husband and I immediately picked him up and took him there. The specialist wanted to try a different med so we left hopeful. As soon as we got home, the vet called and said lab results were bad, he had septicemia, his organs were failing and he felt there was nothing to do and recommended euthanasia. Poor Scooter was in a lot of discomfort and we agreed.
We have always been with our pets during euthanasia but we didn't want him to suffer a minute longer. I held him the hour ride to the specialty clinic and I could see he couldn't take much more. It would be another hour ride back.
So we said to go ahead now without us.
Now I feel so bad about not going back. It is just that I couldn't let him suffer I minute more for me to get there. I wanted his misery released asap.
Like I said, we have always held our animals as they passed. Did I make the wrong decision? I am so despondent and am sobbing as I am writing this. I feel like I failed him. Did I?
So the timeliness is the avian vet called this morning to see if we wanted a pigeon someone found, and it brought back all the memories of my bird Petey. We declined the pigeon, as we still have a budgie and a Quaker parrot from the bird rescue,
plus Scooter's brother Skipper and 2 sugar gliders.
But I really needed your message today!
Plus my sympathy for the loss of your sugar glider.
I am dreading the day I lose my neutered boys. They are 6 years old. Some people don't understand the bond that develops between gliders and people. I do.
Thanks again
Terry
Mother_of_gliders1

Registered:
Posts: 13
 #12 
Terry,

I'm so sorry you couldn't be with him in the end, but know you did the right thing. You put his needs first. I'm not sure I can say the same for my little Barney. I had to work, I tried to get someone to cover for me. If I had put him in an e collar it might have helped, but with their metabolism I would have needed to be home to feed him. He was nearly twelve years old and had been showing signs of his age. Weight loss, more health issues. The neurotic tissue around his eye was likely from cancer. I didn't want him to suffer or be put through anymore stress. Skittles is helping Lilo and I heal.

I think you made the right decision for your little one. And also in not bringing home the option, where you have other birds. Options can carry some very nasty parasites and illnesses. Take comfort in your other pets. Bey my conure, and the other gliders are what keeps me going.

Cyberghostx13

I'm understand your decision not to bring another pet into your home. I did bring home another conure Bey, and at 52 with no family I do worry what would happen to him if he outlived me. Sounds like your still pretty active, which is great my mom started hiking at 74. We had a few years of hiking together before her health took a turn. But I'll always have those memories. Would you consider volunteering at an animal shelter or rescue? With your love of animals it may help.

Hugs
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

If you can, please help support this Message Board with a donation: