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cocochanel

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Its been 2 hours since I had to make the most difficult decision of my life. My baby Coco was only 1 year & a half years old. He was such a beautiful, majestic, loving, charismatic black bombay cat. He loved going outside and exploring. My baby would be gone for 1 hour or 2 exploring in our backyard. We live in Washington State & its nothing but beautiful forestation around us. He would leave our backyard and explore for hours. He knew his way back home too & he would re-appear out of no where when I had my little frantic attacks. I would search for him, yelling his name. One day I thought I lost him. But nope. As I was going inside, he ran right past me, into the house as if I didn’t see him lol.

He knew mommy loved him. He knew mommy cared for him. It feels soooo surreal. I cried and cried as I watched the doctor give my baby medicine to stop his little heart. I dont know how to feel. This all started when he was having trouble going to the bathroom yesterday. All day, he was going back & forth, back & forth to the litter box. He would leave nothing. I grew worried & I researched everything. I came to a conclusion that it had to be a blockage in his bladder. Sure enough, it was. The doctor gave me & my family bad news. He had a 50% recurrence rate if treated or we can put him down to ease the pain for him. I felt so bad. I knew my baby was scared. I know he was wondering where I was. I could see it in his eyes after I handed him over to the vet.

My chest felt heavy. I was hyperventilating but I calmed myself down & I knew I had to make a right decision. I can’t let my baby go through another episode of this if I decide to treat him. 50 / 50 chance of my baby going through the same thing right now? I can’t see him in pain.

As they brung my baby into the room so i can say my last goodbye, he looked so defeated & sad. I knew my baby knew that it was time for him to go. At the same time, im sure he left confused. I kissed him, I hugged him, I comforted him until it was time. I looked at my baby & his pupils went completely big & wide. I knew my baby was gone. This one hurt. I love you Coco. Im so sorry.

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