Registered: 1599613944 Posts: 3
She was the only friend I've ever had, the only one who stood by me. She was my sweet angel. She wanted to be next to her mom 24/7 camping together christmas the 2 of us. Every night in my arms. Her sweet kisses in the morning, snuggles every day. I miss her so much. The guilt is over powering. We bought a new house so our dogs could have a good life. Lots of room to run and play. We have had very little time to enjoy the house the past 2 weeks lots of unpacking we decided to mow the lawn and clean up the yard. The girls were both aware of the pool and were afraid of water. Stayed clear of it. As I was wrapping up the house I looked to fing my little girl Nali who was always by my side. She wasnt there. The door was open so I went inside to see if she had gone to nap. She was no where to be found. I ran screaming through the house and yard. I asked My boyfriend who was mowing the lawn if he had seen her. Immediately I ran to the pool and ripped the cover off. He screamed and jumped in. I screamed and scream blood curdling scream. My baby girl being plucked from the water. She was blue and not moving. I did CPR frantically. Bubbling and water coming out of her tiny nose. Our neighbor jumped the fence and tried as well. We call the emergency and she told us we were doing all we could. After an hour of CPR I curling up in bed with my sweet baby and cried. We buried her in our backyard with all her toys. Planted flowers. And had a grave stone made.
I am so angry. We new we needed to get a fence up but the past 10 days they stayed clear. Life jackets anything. We knew accidents could happen. I was right there the whole time. No noise. Nothing. I am so mad at myself. And at the same time I just want her back so bad my sweet baby girl..she was my.light my soulmate, the best thing that ever happened to me. I dont know how I will live my life without her. I want to sink myself in our pool and be with her. It's not fair. She was only 2 and we had so much love to give her. My baby is gone and I am so empty.
Registered: 1340924276 Posts: 4,790
I am so sorry for your loss. I know that right now, the pain is so unbearable, and the grief is so hard. You can't blame yourself, though I know it is hard not to. You did all you could to keep your baby safe, and give her a good life. She would never blame you. I don't really know the words to say to help you feel better. I just know that if you ever need to talk, and let out your grief, this is the place. We all understand the grief and guilt that comes with losing our baby. If you want to just share memories of her, when you are ready, I am always ready to listen. Please continue to post here, and I, and my friends will be here for you. Also, on Mondays, there is a chat room, where they hold a memorial for our babies. If you feel the need to chat, it is a good place to go. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't blame yourself, I know that Nali doesn't. She knows she is,a nd will always be loved by you.