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beckychambers

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Posts: 3
 #1 
I run over my beautiful cat today... He was only 6 months old..
He was under my car as I drive off there was no bang or lump like I’d done it I only realised on looking in my wing mirror and seeing him on the ground .. He was in a bad way and did not make it I’m devastated I feel so so terrible I loved him so so so much... Moments before this happened I’d just feed him along with his siblings but I’d picked him up and gave him a massive kiss and told him I loved him then moments later I’ve killed him ... Why did I pick him up and kiss him and not any of my other cats it’s like unbeknown to me it was written somewhere this was going to happen .. I keep playing those moments over and over in my head .. I’m heart broken and feel so guilty .. Why did this happen ??..Xxx
Napalmakita66

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Posts: 120
 #2 
I'm so Zorro l sorry this happened Becky. I don't know why things like this happen but I do think that our pets know exactly when it's time to leave us and continue on their soul journey. It doesn't make sense now and I know it's painful, but the universe has a plan and we don't control it. One day the lessons will be clear and this will all make sense.
This was a horrible mistake and I know it has to be painful. We all do our best and mistakes will happen. Pain will happen to show us what we don't want so we can strive for what we do want. That's how we grow spiritually.
Maybe there is a lesson here. If so, take it and learn. Meanwhile, be good to yourself, take time to grieve, love the other animals you have and take care of yourself. -Katsu's dad
beckychambers

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #3 
Thank you for your beautiful words Napal. As I lay here at 03.40am with a completely tear soaked pillow you have bought me some comfort. Thinking back on things I just feel something more is going on just Monday this Crow came from nowhere and parked itself in front of my car and looked up at me.. I felt an un-easy feeling but shrugged it off... (As a few days before my Grandmas passing from cancer in 2017 a Crow landed on her window so it reminded me of that) I’ve been looking at old photos of Sheeran and on 1 there is this weird blemish abnormally on the picture right on his eye that was badly damaged in the accident... His twin sister has been really cuddly since this happened and she was not the cuddly one. I feel so traumatised I can’t look out my window because it overlooks where it happened .. I’m scared to drive my car .. I lost my 16 year old cat in January she died of natural causes and I was devastated but I could come to terms with the fact she was old and had an amazing life .. I don’t know how I will ever forgive myself my pets are everything to me... <\3..Xxx
Napalmakita66

Registered:
Posts: 120
 #4 
Hi Becky. There are so many events that we witness daily that are messages to us...we just have to be aware and pay attention to them.
It's been a tough day...missing my best friend Katsu so much.
I hope your pain is easing some. Your in my thoughts. Take care -Katsu's dad
beckychambers

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #5 
Hi Napal Things have not been great I keep playing things out in my head over and over again .. I feel so guilty, depressed, sad, heartbroken.
I just wish I could take it back. I have found comfort on here and the weird and sad realisation how common what happened happens... I just hope in time it won’t feel this harsh .. I think it’s worse because he was in such a bad way with a horrid head injury it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen in real life it was like a horror movie although it wasn’t because it was real... I just hope and pray he died instantly and felt no pain and what I saw was his body catching up not knowing he was dead yet... That’s the part I keep reliving it’s just horrid.... His twin sister has not left my side since this happened she was not the cuddly one she keeps laying her head under my chin just like Sherry did I like to think he is guiding her to let me know he knows how sorry I am... Sending you love from my broken heart to yours ..💔💔💔💜💜💜... I hope you have a easier day tomorrow my Darlin ..Thank you for caring it means the world to me...Xxxx
Squeakers

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Posts: 21
 #6 
I'm so sorry this happened.  I just put down my cat Lola on Wednesday.  She was always, always, always getting too close to my GF's when we pulled in or out.  I parked my car on the street and she would come and cross the road to greet me when I pulled up.  I was always worried someone would hit her as she crossed the road and as I struggled to get out of the car quickly enough to pick her up.  Every day felt like we were trying to protect her from getting hit by our or someone else's car.  

What happened to your sweet cat was an accident.  An accident that could have happened to my cat Lola a million times.  You did not intend any harm.  I hope you can eventually forgive yourself.

Take care.
Napalmakita66

Registered:
Posts: 120
 #7 
Hi Becky. I want to say your not alone and what your feeling is very typical. I'm a retired firefighter and trust me I know how hard it is to see something like that happen. What your dealing with are signs of post traumatic stress. It's a natural reaction and it will get better wth time, the depression will too. In the meantime, you may want to consider counseling. I have a regular therapist and although there is nothing that can completely erase the hurt, it does help.
Your other buddy is snuggling you because they feel our energy...they know better then us usually. She knows your hurting and wants you to feel good again. Be gentle with her and yourself. I'm sure there wasn't any suffering, remember we don't even really know what death is, and whatever pain there was is long gone. Our furry loved ones souls get to enjoy the absolute beauty and love of the universe now...until they choose to come back. Take care-Katsu's dad
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