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Bossbroccoli

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Posts: 1
 #1 
My beloved cat Boo Boo Kitty passed away this past weekend, she was 14. I just picked her up from the crematorium today. She was starting to show end of life signs over the past year or so and was in renal failure. She had started hiding in places she didn’t normally hide, and even tried to run away last week even though she has been an indoor cat her whole life.
Me and my kids went to my parents for the 4th of July and I had my ex husband come check on the cats and fish, and water my plants. When we got home, Boo didn’t come to greet us. I assumed she was asleep. After the kids went to bed and she was still nowhere to be seen I got a horrible feeling and started searching for her. I found her in my children’s closet, a door I always keep closed because my 6 yr old son is afraid of it. She had been trapped in their the entire time we were gone, and my ex husband didn’t check on her when he came by, just filled the water bowl and left. I don’t know that it would have made a difference.
For 14 years she was my light and love. We went through so much, she was my one constant. I feel horrible and a level of guilt I have never felt. I can’t imagine how afraid, abandoned, and betrayed she must have felt in her last moments and I wasn’t there to save her. I wish I could go back and make sure she was accounted for before I left. I wish all of this pain would go away.
twinkiesmom

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Posts: 839
 #2 
I am so sorry for your loss of Boo Boo kitty. We all feel such guilt when something like this happens which makes our sorrow so much worse. Sadly forgiveness of others is always easier than forgiving ourselves. It was an accident, you would never consciously do anything to harm your kitty. She probably saw the closet door open, something which rarely happened because of your son's fear, and decided she would go in for a nap. I have had many cats over the years and know how inquisitive they can be. I came home one day to find my cat's paw caught in the cord of a window blind, I am so glad they are cordless now. One of my dogs chewed her way through a baby gate and got stuck. Thankfully there was no lasting damage, just a frightened animal. Your kitty always knew how much you loved her, you showed her every day how much she meant to you. Be gentle with yourself and let your tears flow, Boo can't be in your arms but she is forever in your heart. Again I am so sorry.
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