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katismatyi

Registered:
Posts: 15
 #1 

My dear Friends,

 

I came here 4 years ago when my dog Matyi died and found tremendous consolation... how could i guess i will need you again, and the compassion and love i found once here...

 

Saturday morning for a mysterious reason i began talk about my Matyi and how he suffered in the end and how he kept visiting me in my dreams. I had a very spiritual connection with him...after that i began cry. Few minutes after my neighboor came to my door telling me they found a cat, death, on the front porch where i live... well it was the precious body of my cat Tommy...

 

Does my soul already knew what's happend ? Or was it Matyi trying to telling me something ?

 

Right now, i am still under major shock. I couldn't made my mind if i must bury him in the garden or cremate him... finally i decided cremate him like i did with Matyi.

He will be bury in a half hour. In the last minute i decided to write to him a goodbye letter, and putted this letter with his body so it will be cremate with him.

My dear friends, why i feel such an anxiety all of a sudden ? I can't stop crying and telling myself i shouldn't put this letter with him. Maybe it will lock his soul or mine with him ? Or it is just my imagination, my emotion. My disbelief that he is actually death...

 

My friend told me that he feel is ok, my decision was ok, this letter belong to my cat now, it was a love letter...

 

I feel just so bad, so sad, my heart is just in million peaces again...

 

I loved so much this cat, althought, i always kept a certain distance with him, and for this i feel guilty too. I feel guilty too because i letted him out when he asked to go out during the night of friday and saturday. If only i could knew, i would do beter... i can't rewind the time like a tape ... He was 10 years and leave behind him his sister Sissy wich whom he was unseparable...

 

thank you to listen my broken heart

 

Kati

 

ps : for the letter it's too late, i will let the Universe take charge of my decision ... i just feel guilty so much for everything. I keep telling myself that i killed my cat...that's just horrible...i realize that i loved him more than i thought !!!! he left his pawprint forever in my heart ... my Tommy please forgive me

goldenboysmom

Registered:
Posts: 1,001
 #2 

My Dear Dear Heart Friend Kati,

I just wrote to you an email but saw your post here. The universe will take care of what should be and whether it is too late for the letter or not, your Love goes with Tommy. You know that. You can place a picture of you and him in the urn next to his ashes with a letter to him . I did that with Max and it comforts me but they know already our heart Kati. We always feel guilt for whatever happens to our fur children and blame ourselves even when we did nothing wrong. It is like we need to punish ourselves and bring more sadness to our heart but all we do is love them with all our heart and unlike humans, animals are so very wise and see clear to our soul. Sometimes we do keep a distance from them as I do sometimes with Marsh . It is as if I am afraid of the pain of loss again and I protect myself but I believe Marsh knows why I might do this and really knows me by heart, not as Max did but as Marsh knows how.

Tommy will always be a part of you just as Matyi will always be part of your spirit~ part of your soul.

I wish I could be with you and give you a hug but I am there in spirit sending you a hug and much love to you.

Jo

maerlyn

Registered:
Posts: 1,604
 #3 

Oh my dear friend Katyi ~  How can I say how very sorry I am to hear this?  Your poor heart was so broken when Matyi made his transition, and now you are suffering all over again.  But you know - Tommy is safe now, with Matyi - friends forever, waiting at the Bridge for *you*!  I know the horror you're experiencing, for my beloved Shade was also killed on the road - his lovely body mangled and no one but me to pick up the pieces.  That was more than 2 months ago, and I still cry.  I know you do, too.  Please don't feel guilty about letting him out; some cats just are not happy unless they're roaming - Shade was like that, and it seems Tommy was, too.  Well, Shade & Tommy have met, I'll bet - roaming the Endless  Fields together, in great joy.

 

My heart breaks for you, for I understand your pain.  But you know that Tommy is gloriously alive, absolutely healthy, utterly safe, and blissfully happy.

 

May Tommy's Creator bless you with faith, strength, and peace.

 

Love,

Sharon

katismatyi

Registered:
Posts: 15
 #4 

My Precious Friend Jo,

 

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and love. Since the beginning of our encounter here, you never failed to be by my side, my Friend...

 

The ashes of my Tommy came back yesterday and finally i calmed down and like you said, nothing can be wrong when made with love. My decision was the decision of my heart. I made a beautiful altar here, with his picture, ours, picture of his sister and of course Matyi.

I must remember that animals are lended to us. We are they gardian, maybe they decide when they had to leave us and we must let them go at their time,even if he decide to go by a violent way, like been crashed by a car.

 

Poor consolation when we are in such deep suffering.

 

I believe also that Matyi showed Tommy the way to the Bridge. Tommy grow up with Matyi, they was unseparable. And when Matyi died, he entered in deep mourning. My cat disapperead for days and didn't eat for a week. The bond between Tommy and my new angel dog Thibaut was never the same... and Tommy was never the same again after Matyi death...he lost pound and fur and his joy of life. He become a very serious and profound wise cat.

 

I too, kept an certain emotional distance with him for protect myself from the pain of another grieving and also because in the beginning, he was not "my" cat but the cat of my ex. I kept the 2 cats because he couldn't care about... but they both cristallisade my relationship with this person and the heartache who came with the separation.

 

With his death, a huge part of my past life is gone with him too. Many hard journey and sadness, Tommy was with me through all those days...i just wonder for his sister Sissi. All of a sudden she is alone now. We will try to surround her with as much love as we can to compensate the huge gap in her life. For 10 years they never slept appart !

 

Thank you again my dear dear friend Jo ! Your words, comfort and support mean so much for me. You put me always on the right track when i loose my sense of reality.

 

I love you dearly, i send you many hugs and love

 

Kati

and Matyi and Tommy spirit forever

diane

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 2,719
 #5 

Dearest Kati,  Oh how my heart hurts for you, dear friend.  You have done nothing wrong.  Your Tommy loves you and will wait for you at the bridge.  You know we all go through guilt or regrets.  That is what makes us human. 

 

Your Tommy is with Matyi and will wait patiently for you and Sissy.

 

Bless you, my friend, and the spirit of your beloved Tommy.

 

Love,  Diane

katismatyi

Registered:
Posts: 15
 #6 

Oh my dear friend Sharon !

 

Thank you so much for your kind words. You also was with me since Matyi's loss and i remember your beautiful Merlin, angel friend of Matyi.

 

What a traumatic experience for you to discover the mangled body of your precious Shade ! Tommy's body was not mangled, he just was laying like sleeping...the only thing is he began bleeding when left up probably from internal injury. But since this fatal day, i always picture him over and over i have this last vision of him... so very sad

 

What is different with my cat Tommy's mourning is that is more internal, i can't explain this feeling, i cried so very hard the first days and now is like my tears are locked up but i do feel an intense sadness inside. Except here, where i feel safe to share my pain, i don't want share Tommy's loss with anybody else, like i want stay just with him, maybe in the respect of what he was when alive, a very private, wise, profound cat.

 

I pray everyday for his so precious soul. I believe that Matyi openened the "way", he showed Tommy the road to the Bridge and also made me stronger to face Tommy's loss. I feel deep inside that he give me this sthrengh. As a friend told me recently "...your dear dog has gone on ahead to prepare
the way for those that follow"... and she is so right...

 

Please receive my sympathy for the loss of Shade,

 

May Tommy, Merlin, Shade, Matyi and all Bridge's furbabies play together, romping, roaming, chasing mouses and butterflies, be free from all pain, surrounded by Love ...

 

Hugs and Prayers my dear friend Sharon and thank you

 

Kati

Muffin

Registered:
Posts: 18
 #7 

My dear Kati,

 

I was so very sad to read of the loss of your precious Tommy.  My heart is with you.

 

I believe that Matyi was connecting with you when you dreamed of him and talked about him that Saturday morning.  It was his way to tell you that he has helped Tommy to the Rainbow Bridge.

 

You must not feel guilty about letting Tommy outside – it made him happy.  It just was his time to go to the Bridge – a time our God decides, and a time we can never know when it will come.

 

Your heart will be forever connected to Tommy and to Matyi, and they will be together now and wait for you to join them someday when it is your time.

 

I am thinking of you my friend, and sending you prayers for your broken heart.

 

Love & Hugs,

Cindy

 

Snuggles - November 11, 1985 ~ August 19, 2002



Jelly Bean - Born December 3, 2003


 

PunkinMummy

Registered:
Posts: 1,038
 #8 

Dear Kati,

 

I am so very sorry for the sudden loss of your beloved Tommy Cat. I can imagine the pain and shock you are feeling and my heart hurts so much for you reading your words. One of the things we always worry most about was how was it for them as they left and I understand from your words the pain you are feeling imagining how it was. As a nurse I hope that I can reassure you a little that Tommy Cat almost certainly was in shock and did not know what happened when he awoke surrounded by Matyi and Matyi's friends at the Bridge. My Punkin left me too in the most heart-breaking way I could ever imagine but what I hold onto on my hardest days is knowing it is all behind him now and where he now lives he knows Peace and Love beyond all our understanding.

 

Your memorial tribute for Matyi was the first web-page I ever looked at when I came to Petloss and I will always remember his beautiful face and your great love for him. Both your beloved Tommy Cat and Matyi know your heart and have been blessed with your love forever. They will be waiting for you when it is your time. Right now they play together with all their friends and watch over you with all the love and concern you watched over them in their Earth-time. For them the time we are apart is but a blink of the eye but for those of us left behind the days and long and hard and the pain is overwhelming on so many days. I hope you will share a picture of your beloved Tommy Cat and tell us more about him when you are able and I am keeping you in my thoughts during these first difficult days and weeks..

 

With deepest sympathy,

 

Colleen 

 

For Kati ~

 

To My Dearest Family

 

To my dearest family,
some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know,
that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from the Bridge.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here there are no more tears of sadness.
Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy
just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you
every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me
and He said, "I welcome you.

It's good to have you back again;
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
They'll be here later on."

God gave me a list of things,
that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night
the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you...
in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years,
because you are only human,
they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you
all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you,
you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain,
though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now,
than I ever was before.

There are rocky roads ahead of you
and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it
by taking one day at a time.

When you're walking down the street
with me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind."

"And when it's time for you to go...
from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going...
you're coming here to me."

 

~ Author Unknown

 

WhiteEyelashes

Registered:
Posts: 84
 #9 

My Precious, Precious Friend ~ Kati ~

 

Oh, I was so very, very sorry to read about your baby boy, Tommy.  My heart breaks for you.  I know how painful it must have been to find him.  Tears are falling as I write this.  It is always so hard to lose one of our *special* baby's.  Please know that your Matyi was there to greet him with *open paws & a open heart*.  He knew his friend was coming & he waited at the beginning of the Bridge for him, so that he wouldn't be afraid or feel alone.  What a *joyful* reunion it was for the 2 of them!  I can see them running towards each other & giving one another big *kisses*!  Just close your eyes & you can see them running, playing & romping around like they did on this earth plane.

 

It is you that is hurting now & your pain is still new.  I know that you miss holding your *Tommy* & that you loved him very, very much.  Sometimes we don't realize how much until they cross over to their *new home*.  Please be kind to yourself.  You did NOTHING wrong (!), my dear friend.  It was Tommy's time to join Matyi & so many other Bridge Babies.  My *special* Primrose was there to see your handsome boy & she was really able to *see* him!  She is no longer blind or deaf.  It was wonderful for her to *hear* Tommy coming!  And, my little Rolex was there too!  So many kitties to greet him!  And of course, Cloudy was with all of them.

 

Oh, soul-mate friend, it has been so long ~ but, I think about you EVERY DAY.  I don't know if you are checking back here on Tommy's post, but I will also write to your email address.  I thought of Matyi & Cloudy last month on the 3rd & 13th.  Our handsome boys together, with Max, of course!  The 3 Amigos!!!  FOREVER!  I don't come here very often, but I felt compelled to do so tonight.  This is what we needed to *re-connect* again ~ in words.  We have always been *connected* in spirit.

 

I love & miss you, my precious Kati~

 

Pami & so many of my babies spirits

katismatyi

Registered:
Posts: 15
 #10 

Dear Lovely soul Diane,

 

It's felt so good to see you in my post, that your are still here after all those years,giving your unconditionnal support and love for everyone.

 

Thank you for your wise and comforting words. I needed that so much. Just validate my human feelings.

 

With Matyi mourning, i learned the hardest way all the process of grieving and now it's seems easier to pass the guilt feeling with Tommy, guilt is just so energy draining and it will not bring back my beloved Tommy.

 

He will live inside me now forever. I feel his presence so strong.

 

Bless you too dear friend Diane, and your precious Dallas !

 

Kati

katismatyi

Registered:
Posts: 15
 #11 

Dear Cindy,

 

Thank you so very much for your friendship and kind words and for to be here. Your friendship are healing balm on my heart.

 

I always loved so much to see Snuggles precious face and now your sweet Jelly Bean !

 

My guilt feeling fade away as time goes by, to let more place for my love to Tommy. I see his face everywhere i look here. I expect him to jump by the window inside the kitchen and purr and meouw to have some milk.

He had this cute way to let me know he want come in with rubbing his little paws against the window. It made me laugh and said, "here is my little window cleaner".

 

I miss him so very much but he is now in my heart. I believe maybe he will come back to me in another level, in my dream or even in another cat.

I send you much love to you Cindy,

 

Kati

katismatyi

Registered:
Posts: 15
 #12 

Dear Sweet Colleen,

Awww, your post touched my heart deeply. Your beautiful poem brought tears in my eyes. I can't imagine how much you suffered for the loss or your Punkin and now you give your comforting words and support for those who are heartbroken.

Thank you Colleen for taken on your precious time to answer to my post, and for your kind words. Tommy will live forever in my heart and happily play with all his bridgefriends, including your PUnkin.

I miss him badly, but as time goes by, my guilt feeling fade away to let only the love i shared with him shine through my soul. 

 

Bless you and much Love and Hugs

 

Kati

katismatyi

Registered:
Posts: 15
 #13 

Oh my dear Beloved Amigo Pami !

 

No matter what, we are always connected to each other, we always find a way to each other. I am so happy to see you again my Precious Friend, even if it's under such a sad circumstance, it is on a deep spiritual level and your words touched my soul deeply.

I believe that now my boy Tommy is free from all pain and he can romp and play freely without the fear of being hit by car again. With your Precious Primrose, Rolex, our dear amigo's Jo boy, Max and of course my Matyi, his great great friend here on earth. He was there to show him the way to animal Paradise, where they all watch over us... and of course all his Bridgefriends.

 

My precious friend Pami, our friendship is a long dialog who never stop, we can stay long period of time without news, life bring us appart, but deep inside we are connected, and when we re-connect, by mail, by phone, spiritually, or here by words, it's like it was yesterday. Four long years had passed since i met you and our friend Jo, here. Our babies brought us together, and that i will cherish forever. I am blessed with your unconditional love and support.

 

I send you many kisses, hugs and much love to you my friend,

 

Thank you to be you and to be in my life,

 

your forever amigo Kati

 

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