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HeidiGirl

Registered:
Posts: 52
 #1 

Where to start.  I had originally posted a topic about my dog, but upon reading it over and over it sounded “matter-of-factly”, callous, and no nonsense.  It was not what I was attempting to convey with my current emotions and certainly not doing justice to my little guy.  I believe I was in too much shock and anger so it was deleted and this do over was made.

My little buddy was a Shih Tzu.  He was a sweet old boy, much like all the others written about on these forums.  He was 11 years old.  He was diagnosed with Cushing’s disease and Diabetes last September.  He got two injections of insulin a day.  He was also blind.  Earlier in his life he swallowed a squeaker from a toy and had to have parts of his intestine removed.  He spent a lot of times in a hospital for various tests and treatments.  He went through a lot in his years.  Too much.  But, he was a happy dog and we loved the heck out of him.  He loved to lay on our laps and fall asleep.  He made me smile.

A week ago he starting throwing up half dollar sizes of vomit mostly a clear slightly frothy liquid but only about 4am.  I wasn’t so concerned at the time.  He ate and drank normally and was alert and played.  It was this past weekend where he went downhill very, very quickly.  Friday he threw up more clear liquid but still seemed ok.  Maybe he had an upset stomach or just going through a rough period.  Saturday he wouldn’t eat.  He seemed more lethargic and uninterested in our other dogs and us.  Ok, now something is wrong.  Sunday he stopped drinking water and roamed the house staggering into corners and laying down.  It seems he wanted to be alone.  We would take him outside and he would go to a part of the yard and just lay there.  Back in the house he would lift his head as much as he could and give me that look.  It looked like he was trying to tell me he was resigning and giving up.  I just had this gut feeling that he was trying to tell me something.  I had a Veterinarian appointment for first thing Monday morning set up.  Perhaps something could be done, medicine, whatever to help him.

Monday morning he was limp.  He could hardly move.  He looked tired.  I picked him up and put him on a blanket and took him to the Vet.  They are right across the street from me.  Oliver was examined and the Doctor wasn’t positive about his condition.  Mind you Cushing’s disease and Diabetes can be treatable, but when both are present treatment becomes very, very hard.  We always knew these diseases would eventually succumb him, but not this fast!  The Doctor said they could keep him for a few days, give him glucose and monitor him, but wasn’t hopeful.  He was also crying and whining.  He never in his previous 11 years cried once.  I couldn’t bear to see him in pain.  I was crying and made the decision to have him put to sleep.  I saw no other alternative.  His pain was quite obvious.  This all came along so quickly.  What the heck happened???  The Doctor agreed with my decision.

I held him in my arms like a baby, with his blanket under him.  I told him I was so sorry and that I loved him.  I was stroking his fur and his head.  My cheek was next to his so he could feel me.  My tears were rolling off my face onto his.  The Veterinarian Assistant was petting him and talking softly to him saying what a brave little boy he was.  The Doctor put the needle in and administered the anesthetic to calm him down and put him into a mild sleep.  Then the overdose was administered.  Oliver took a slight breath, and it was over.  He passed on.  To be quite honest it was rather peaceful.  The Doctor explained everything to me throughout the process and was very kind and gentle to Oliver.  Oliver was in no more pain and his ordeal was over.  I stayed with him for quite some time just holding him, crying, and talking to him.  The final battle was done.

I’ll put Oliver next to his big sister Heidi.  I hope they met up across the Rainbow Bridge and are getting reacquainted.  I anxiously wait for the day that I will see them again.  Oliver, you took a piece of my heart as Heidi did and you are forever within me.  You brought such joy and happiness.  Run free and play with your big sister.  Your sight has been restored and you are whole again.  I will love you forever and ever and never forget.  You were and still are my Little Buddy.  Daddy.
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 580
 #2 
I can truly feel your love for Oliver pouring out of every word. It seems you walked the same path that I did over 7 months ago with my wonderful Termy. I am glad that you had the courage and the love to let Oliver go. It's so terribly hard but some how we know when it's time to let go. I still grieve for Termy even after all this time. I shed some tears reading your post for I feel the love and yes pain in your heart. We all have felt the loss of our fur babies. Thank you for sharing Oliver with us. I hope you can find comfort and some peace.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom



georgesmom

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #3 
I am very sorry for your loss.  Your Oliver sounds like he was a wonderful friend to you. 
I lost my 13 yr old cat, George, two weeks ago and it was also very fast.  
I have lost three cats over the last 12 years, but each time feels like you've never felt that much grief and heartache and you pray you never go through it again.  
 God bless you, I know your heart hurts for Oliver as much as it did for Heidi, and I pray your   pain lessens with time.
HeidiGirl

Registered:
Posts: 52
 #4 
To Cosesmom and Georgesmom.  Thank you so much for your replies.  I deeply appreciate it.  I can tell that you both are great pet moms and that you miss your guys more than there are sands on a beach.  Termy certainly was a handsome boy and well taken care of and George had the life of a very, very happy cat being spoiled by a terrific mom.  I am so, so sorry for you both and the loss of your guys.

Yeah, Oliver was my Little Buddy.  We knew the day would come, but you hope it never does.  He is the 3rd fur baby I held as they were put to rest.  Another one survived a surgery but collapsed when they were walking her out to us to take home.  Although it is an awful decision to make, I knew in my heart that it was the right one.  You can just tell by your pets actions, the way they look at you, and, in my case, they were in pain.  There was nothing the Veterinarians could do to make them well, or to ease any of the suffering being incurred.  I held each one of them trying to make things as comfortable and calm as I could.  Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair...does it?

But, I have 2 more wonderful dogs, all rescue ones.  I have plenty of love to spread around.  They all deserved a chance at a good life, and I believe that is being achieved.  They are the best just like all the others on these forums.  All of the fur babies are the best and that's the way it should be.  We all mourn at their loss too.  And that's the way it should be also!  Ollie was the best and he will be missed more than I can even fathom.  He will always be a part of me too and I will never forget him...ever!!!

I wish both of you peace and serenity in your lives and hope the pleasant memories of Termy and George overcome the sadness.  Sending hugs and happiness.

Mike  



   
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