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mybusterboy

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Posts: 2
 #1 
My beautiful gentle boy, Buster was diagnosed with lymphoma on March 24th. I took him to the oncologist and she advised us to start chemo. Buster went through 2 rounds and he was suffering so we stopped. After the chemo he was not the same. He really slowed down and last week was terrible. He stopped eating (which is crazy because he's such a foodie) and finally stopped drinking. He needed help getting up and walking. It was so sad. He was 100 lbs and he lost 30 lbs in 2 weeks. We made the decision to euthanize him yesterday. It was terribly sad. He was 7 years old. 

He was my running partner and best boy. He loved my kids and was always so sweet and fun. He was my first dog. We had a little funeral for him and made a comfortable wooden casket and buried him. My kids and husband built it and engraved it. I am so sad, it hurts. My other dog is so sad. She keeps looking for him. I don't know how to move forward. I'm trying to stay strong for my kids but we are all a wreck. I miss my Buster boy so much. I wish we had more time together. 

Thank you for reading.
grievingmom

Registered:
Posts: 640
 #2 
The loss of a lifetime friend is one of the most painful things we will experience in life. He was a close friend to you. He was your running partner and your best boy. I felt that way about Tum. She was my best girl (I called her that) and my shadow. I have often said she was like a Siamese twin because we did everything together. When she died, I have a complete emotional breakdown. My dependence on her was so strong and now she was gone. I was at a loss. Didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say, didn't know how to act.

As the years have unfolded, I remember Tum and I miss her. But the feelings of devastation have faded. And that's normal, that's because they are supposed to. We aren't supposed to stay in that devastated phase forever. 

You too will move out of the devastation phase of your loss. It may take a long time like it did with me, but it will happen.

In the mean time, I am very sorry for loss. It's sad. My Tum died of cancer and so did my cat Pearl. Pearl was on chemotherapy for 6 months and died while on it. I was besides myself. Like my experience with Tum, I couldn't breathe, couldn't function, was in shock. I thought being on the chemo meant she was going to be cured. I mean...isn't that the point of chemo? Her death came out of the blue. I was a mess and remembering her being on it and how I forced her to take it hurts me to this day. Because apparently it wasn't working. If it saved her life I would have had no guilt in forcing her to take it. None at all.

- Stephanie
EileenD820

Registered:
Posts: 20
 #3 
I am so sorry for your loss.  My heart breaks for you.  I, too, had to make the decision to euthanize not too long ago, and the sadness has been overwhelming.  Try to remember the good times with your Buster and not when he was sick.  That may help you get through, but do take the time to grieve.  There is no timeline for it.  Be gentle with yourself.
mybusterboy

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #4 
Thank you Stephanie and Eileen for your replies and kind words. I know many people go through this and that death is a part of life. However, living through it is different and many people don't understand the loss of a best friend. Our pups (and cats and all companions) are such a big part of our daily lives. It's so strange to wake up and not have him next to my bed. I miss seeing his bowl in the mornings and feeding him and seeing him run around the yard.

Thanks again for your support. Means so much.

- Tania
Dustin007

Registered:
Posts: 16
 #5 
Buster sounded like such a good boy, I really hope your have found comfort in the good times and the good life you had together.

I lost my 7 year old lab he was great with my daughter and the cats. it is a difficult time and I understand how empty you felt at this time, they are truly Family

My Buddy died on a hiking trail on Sunday and the decisions I made allowed for his death to be possible, I am terribly stricken with grief and I am having a hard time. He was my best friend and cuddle Buddy.

I miss him so much, i hope you are feeling a bit better, when I put my Cat down 5 years ago it took me about a year to get over it and 3 years to get a new cat, i had him for 12 years he was constipated for almost 2 his time was near and i still wondered all the what ifs.

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