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frankles

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Posts: 1
 #1 
Hello, I’ve found this forum after trying to find some comfort online for how awful I’m feeling. My beautiful cat Frank was hit by a car right outside our house on Sunday and died. We were out at the time and came home to find some neighbours waiting on the road. I just knew it was him. They said it can only have happened in the past half an hour because he was still warm.
And one of the hardest things to take is that he had been hit by a car a year ago, it was such a traumatic time. He had a broken jaw and was very ill, I nursed him throughout, I tube fed him every three hours for weeks, gave him all his medication, drove him to so many vet appointments I lost count, eventually taking him back and forth to a specialist 2 hours away who was able to do a third operation which fixed his jaw enough for him to be able to eat by himself. He wasn’t insured and we ended up paying over £4,000 on his vet bills. Money we didn’t have but got a loan for because we loved him so much and had to give him a chance. It was really such an awful time but after 4 months of recovery he was well enough to go back out in January this year.
He was an outdoor cat through and through, he would have been utterly miserable being indoors. But after everything we did for him last year, I can’t believe it was less than a year of life he got and then this happens to him. It breaks my heart and feels so unfair.
I also feel so angry because the driver didn’t stop, they just left him to die in the kerb. Right outside our house. It kills me I wasn’t there, I feel sick when I think about him alone and what he went through. It’s just such a shock, to have him and now he’s gone. I can’t stop crying and I miss him like a constant ache to my chest. I just wish it hadn’t happened, I miss him so much. We had him for 7 years, through 3 house moves, two children, and he was the one. You know you get that pet who you just connect with, well he was mine and it hurts so much to have him taken away from me like that.
I’m also struggling to get the image of him out of my mind, there was just so much blood, I can’t help but feel he must have suffered.
Anyway, thank you if you read this. I feel so drained and raw, he is constantly on my mind and I just feel so so sad.
ManyKitties

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Posts: 2
 #2 
I am so sorry about what happened to your beloved boy Frank. I think I know exactly how you feel, having lost our sweet boy Max in 2016 the same way. It’s hard enough for a pet to die, but to die in such a violent way...it’s almost too much to endure. You have these pictures in your head that you can’t forget, and you keep wondering if they suffered. All I can tell you is that it will get better so that eventually you will mostly remember the good things and not feel so traumatized. I wish I could give you a hug. Please be kind to yourself and remember that it will get easier.

Gloria
missyou19

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Posts: 7
 #3 
I am so sorry for the loss of your cat Frank. I know it is so hard when we lose our pets, but so much so in such tragic circumstances as yours.  Just believe that your cat loved the outdoors and you were giving him the life that he loved. Remember too that he loved you very much.

I lost my Crissy Ann on Nov 3 and it still hurts. She was 12 yrs old. I think about her all the time and have those moments of sadness and cry. I can't believe that she is gone. You have to give yourself time to grieve. It is different for everyone. It gets better with time. You never forget them, you just learn to cope.

What I did with Crissy's passing. I got her ashes back and a foot print. I made a little memorial for her and have a light there that I light up every night. I also have been going through pictures of her and plan on putting them all together in her own album. I thought about making a collage of her pictures as well. This has helped me a lot. I know that each person is different on what they do. I also had guilt feelings and I still have to some point. I feel like the passing was my fault because she was sick. I feel, at times that I should have seen these symptoms in early stage. Cats hide their systems from us. I think that she could have had things going on that we weren't aware of. One thing that also consoles me is that I know she is in a better place now free from pain.

I know with your Frank that he wasn't sick. You have to remember that this was an accident. It wasn't your fault. Like I mentioned before you were giving him the life he loved and he truly loved you for that. 

Prayers for your healing
Missyou19



grievingmom

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Posts: 641
 #4 
There are two things going on here. Frank has died and you are grieving. However Frank's manner of death constitutes a "traumatic" loss, so there are the symptoms of trauma involved which are not the same as the symptoms of grief.

My heart truly goes out to you. You were a fantastic mother, I can tell.

The chest pain you feel is real. It is physically real.

I am heartbroken for you.

Please google pet loss hotlines in your area so you can spend time on the phone as often as you need to getting this all out.

Peace and care to you.

Hugs,
Stephanie
Nicsmt

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Posts: 1
 #5 
I’m here because the exact same thing has happened to my beautiful cat Milo - he was killed by a car on Saturday night and we found him dead on our driveway on Sunday. I have never cried so much in 3 days. He was a Siamese cross, just beautiful, only three years old. I have two other cats, one is his sister, who I love dearly but he was my ‘special’ one. I am so overwhelmed with grief and feel like I’ll never get over it. Like you I worry that he suffered. I keep bursting into tears and my family are sympathetic but do not feel anywhere near the same way. I am very sorry for your loss too, it’s heartbreaking isn’t it. I’ve locked our cat flap now, I can’t face losing another one. But here in the UK most cats go out and they are used to it. It’s so hard. I’m going to look into cat proofing the garden X
ManyKitties

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Posts: 2
 #6 
Dear Nicsmt, I am so very sorry for your loss!
Cherie

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #7 
I am so sorry for your loss. I can tell you loved Frank so much and that he was such a huge part of your life. I have lost many cats over the yrs. Some went missing, others I had to put down due to illness, one was that he was 17 and deteriorating quickly. And my last loss was a tragic accident. My baby who I loved with all my heart was mauled by our neighbors dog. It was a sudden loss that I could not prepare for. The grief is so different with a sudden tragic loss. I don't want to say it is harder or easier but for me it's been the most difficult thing I've gone thru. There are all the what if's and not able to say goodbye and then the guilt and flashbacks. I'm learning some days it's just getting thru moment by moment, some days it's hour by hour. I'm so sorry you lost your beautiful boy. You were the best mom to him and you helped him live his best life. I understand about keeping his sister inside now. I'm doing that with my little guys brother. I cant bare to lose him too. It's hard tho. Especially when you've connected at such a deep level with your fur baby. My heart is with you. I pray peace over you and that each day will get better.
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