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Posts: 5
Hi, my cat had to be put down Wed. She was 14, almost 15 and had battled kidney disease for at least 11 months. I feel lost without her and want to go check on her. I keep thinking she should be around. I can't wait to get the ashes back. Sometimes, I wonder both if I should have done more and if I should have let her go sooner. The house is much worse without her. I wish I had more time with her. She just wasn't responding to much that day. I wish it had been a bit later, but I didn't want her to suffer. I worked that day which I hate. Maude loved the sunshine, being outside on nice days, treats, being petted and soft blankets. She lived seven months longer than one vet. thought she would. It's hard watching them decline. She was a pretty, grey cat. She did very well with guests. She was a bright spot in my life through many things when I needed a bright spot.

Posts: 16
Hi Maude's Mom.  I'm sorry to hear that Maude is no longer with you.  You're right, watching them decline is agonizing.  I guess that's like any person who is elderly.  For me, I still second guess myself but I know on the day my Sunny passed, he was no longer enjoying life.  I am sure there are things I could have done differently the last 9 months of his life.  I was just getting things settled around my house with foster animals so that I could focus solely on my pets (including Sunny).  But, Sunny's body had other ideas.  I didn't even see how much weight he had lost until it was pointed out to me.  I kick myself for not getting him into rehab a year ago if not earlier.  But, then I guess if I'm being fair to my self, you balance all of that out with the fact that car rides were getting harder for him (and at the time, I had no one living near me that could help me), making sure he got all his medications was turning his meals into courses - 5 course meals.  Then, he couldn't bear his weight enough to get the food down.  If I gave him a pill in a pill pocket he would often spit them out.  You weigh all those things and the fact you maybe you just didn't know about something at the time - against your thoughts after the fact - and have to ask yourself what more you could have done - and how long would it have made a difference?  I think sometimes I just like to beat myself up - like I deserve it.  Bottom line is, I just miss him.  Today I was in a speciality pet food store and they had coconut oil and a rub for dog noses.  Both of these things I could have used on him but I didn't know a nose rub existed (Sunny's nose was getting really dry) - and it didn't occur to me (and no one mentioned) the benefits of coconut oil.  

It will be hard getting through it - but that's the only way to go - allowing yourself to grieve fully the loss of your companion and friend who was there for some many moments.

Posts: 12
I'm sorry for the loss of Maude.  I bet she was so beautiful just as you described her.

Remember the good times and those memories of her laying by you and playing. 

I know it is tough, I recently lost my little Champ.  I miss him so very much. 

Champ also had kidney disease.  He looked like he was almost ready to check out in May of 2017 but I nursed him back to health with the help of the vet.  I had to give him fluids and change his diet.  He lived another 10 months.  That extra time was so special and I believe we grew even closer.  It just seemed like he understood that I was trying to help him and he snuggled next to me more than ever before.

I understand how difficult it is to see them decline but it sounds like you were such a good mom and loved Maude so very much.

Maude and Champ and all the other fur balls are sleeping and playing and just waiting for us to join them again.

Maude will forever be in my prayers and I hope your memories give you some comfort.

God Bless.
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