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InfiniteLove

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Posts: 3
 #1 
Hello,

I hope that my story will help some of you. It will be rather long, but I hope that with deep and comforting meaning.

Two days ago my loved one catgirl passed away. In February 2020 she would be 11 years young.
I fought almost 1 month for her life, but eventually on 18 November at 1:05 AM she decided to go to other realm.
I am male in thirties, but in these days I cry a lot, even though I know that she is in a wonderful place now, waiting for me, so that one day we can again be together forever.

I'm not in traditional religions (I even are strongly against them and their dogmatism), but I have deep connection with nature, I like long walks in the woods, sunset and night walks at the sea, looking into sky full of stars, and I have deep inner feeling that there is an afterlife - the pure place, filled with unconditional love, where we and all our loved ones (including pets) reconnect, when our time has arrived.

Of course, I wanted to be together with my catgirl in this earthly life at least some 15 years, but she decided to pass away earlier.
And I try to understand why.
I do not believe that illnesses are just some physical random accident. I believe that illnesses have deeper reasons.

During the last month my everyday normal life literally stopped and I tried to do everything I could to figure out what had gone wrong and how can I change it to save her. Of course, I did all this mental/emotional work along with the traditional medical procedures taken by vets.

This year was emotionally very difficult for me. There was the final stage of large personal business project which I really enjoyed, and I think that it is my purpose in life to develop it further, because it brings so much joy and good feelings.

All things that was depending totally from myself, I did responsibly and as good as always.

But.....

I had to deal with one large challenge, which didn't depend on me and I had to find someone who could do it for me - to build website with specific functionality. I needed advanced specialist.

I found a few seemingly appropriate web developers and finally chose the one for this job. But instead of normal work process everything started to fall apart - he promised a lot, but real job was done negligently and with delays. And even when he said that the website is finished, we spent a few months in correcting the mistakes.
In summer he even stopped communicating and I was left with defected website and no idea how to quickly go out of this situation. Ok, I knew that there is a long term solution - to find a new web developer and build new site, but I have invested a lot of money in this project and didn't have free finances.So I desperately wanted quick solution.
I felt emotionally very bad, because as I said, the whole project is very important to me, but I couldn't properly develop it further without this website.

In August I contacted other web developer, who said that he could try to save the existing website and correct the errors. But with him even today the works haven't started, because he have to finish some other projects and he promises to start working with mine in nearest future.

So all this year I was in rather bad emotional state.

And since our pets are emotionally very sensitive I think my energy depleted somehow also the energy of my catgirl. I don't think that only this one brought her immunity down. I think that there were also the other reasons.

One of them is that for several years I had thoughts that I would like to take some more cats, but I didn't do that because I was afraid that my catgirl with whom I always have had very close and special relationships will be upset and maybe it will lead to some diseases. And I didn't wanted that. So although in my heart I was ready to bring even more love into my life, i hesitated because of this fear.

Therefore, instead of only one strong energy hole, there were two - my bad emotional state and my fear to bring more love into my life.

In addition to that, in August and September i started to feel rather strong feeling of nostalgia and some sadness. But it was more external - the feeling that my favorite actors and musicians are getting older and soon there won't be more music or movies with them. I couldn't explain why i felt it, but i clearly felt it. Now looking back maybe it was some sign. But i was so much into my projects that I didn't try to analyze that feeling deeper. Even when I often was in woods or at the sea, my thoughts mainly was about my projects. My mind was occupied with that and tried to generate ideas and solutions.

Of course all my projects quickly started to lose priority, when my catgirl get sick. I started to analyze everything what have happened this year in my life from different perspective, but it seems that it was too late. My catgirl have decided to pass away.

During first two weeks when she still had strength she somehow tried to stay away from me, not showing that she feels discomfort. But in the last week, when she got weaker she started again to search for close contact with me.
She jumped in the bed and lie on my chest (her favorite place), and put her head on my heart.
My emotions and tears exploded when she tried to do that even then, when she has lost almost any strength - she really wanted to get on my chest and heart.

When in the last day and evening I saw that her discomfort becomes in constant pain I said to her, that if she can't stay, I encourage her to go. I told her that she is my infinite love and she always will be in my heart and we will definitely meet again in other realm and we will be together FOREVER.

At 1:05 AM after short agony she passed away.

It was the night, but I couldn't go to sleep. I took all the food and drove around the city and gave it to homeless cats. I drove to the beach and walked at the sea.
In the morning I buried my catgirl in seaside forest at one of my favorite walk routes. One of my place of strength, which I visit rather often.

After almost month of continuous fight I felt that I need a few days to emotionally recover so I drove to other city, where my mom, brother and sister lives. It is a place which I often visited also together with my catgirl.

During the last month I started to listen a lot of materials from Anita Moorjani, who herself has experienced very serious illness, which led to Near Death Experience and temporary visiting other realm. I have read her book "Dying to be me" several years ago and it really resonated with me. It is so pure, so warm message. And during the last month I felt that I need to hear more from her - so I started to listen and watch her broadcasts and radio recordings.

And rather new topic for me was the signs from our loved ones from other realm.

My catgirl passed away, but I continue to talk to her, to imagine that she now is together with me wherever i go, as energetic field in my heart, on my shoulders, near me, etc.

I continue to speak to her and ask to give some signs that she is ok, that now she is in wonderful place, pain free and happy.

As i previously mentioned, she passed away at 1:05 AM on 18th November. I have slept only several hours that night, so in the next evening I felt very tired and felt asleep somehow around 11 PM. After a while I suddenly woke up and looked in the clock of my phone. It showed 1:05 AM. Exactly the same time, when 24 hours ago my catgirl passed away (at the moment of passing  I also looked in the same clock on my phone). So I perceived it as a sign, that she heard me and gave me the sign (by waking me up at a very specific time), that now she really is ok.

But today something even bigger happened. A lot bigger.

My catgirl passed away on 18th November, which is national day of my country.

Week ago I have for the first time installed on my phone communication app called Telegram (alternative for Whatsapp).

It was recommended from my new web developer - he said that it will be easier to communicate through this app than Whatsapp.

So, week ago I installed this Telegram app and just send the message to web developer, that now I have this app and we can communicate through it. He sent me back jut thumbs up and we haven't yet even had some talk through it. i also checked that there are some other people from my contact list, but rather few.

Today, on 20th November in the morning I saw on the screen of my phone the sign of Telegram app. The first thought was that I have received some message from web developer, so I opened the message.

It was from some unknown sender. The message consists from a few seconds short video file on which there is a cat, with a belt on his neck in the colors of my country national flag. At the bottom corner of the video there following text in my native language - "Greetings in Holidays!!!" But the National Holiday was on 18th November. There is no way that someone would send such greeting 2 days later, which is just normal working day.

But there is more. The Dispaly name of the message sender is - Rise Shine (this text is in english).
These two words can be interpreted as a rather clear message to continue to live, find joy, be happy again, rise and shine!

There are also two profile pictures in senders account. The main picture is sunset in the sea. I don't think that it is from the places I go for walks, but the place is very very similar. And the sunset is in the angle (to coastline) in which I burried my catgirl. (Sunsets have always been my most favorite time to go for the walks at the sea).

There is also second picture. In the beginning I couldn't explain it, but after a while I can find meaning of it. So the second (historically first) is a rather unpleasant picture taken into some rather old trolleybus, where sit some people with their backs towards the camera. And the closest is some male with black, dirty jacket, holding bite bread in his hand. It is something diametrically opposite to the other (main) picture of the profile with beautiful and wonderful sunset.

So the explanation could be following - the first picture with the man in dirty jacket energetically is close to the condition of my catgirl in her last days, when her coat on her face was rather dirty (due to a month long forced feeding).

If so, then the message is very clear - my catgirl sends me a message, that a while ago she was energetically very weak, in analogy close to a man in his dirty jacket, but now she energetically is in the very strong and positive place which can be compared with a very beautiful sunset in the sea or even better.

And even now there is more. I looked deeper in account details and found that in addition to the Display Name (which was Rise Shine), there is also Username.

When I saw it I completely let go of any left skepticism. The username was the name of a drug which described one of the serious inflammation conditions of my catgirl, and the name of this medical drug ended with two letters - EX. So yes, my catgirl had that condition, but now it is in the past. Now it is EX-condition.

I'm 100% sure that no one of my friends or relatives could send it to me. There are too many things that only I knew. And I even won't write back to ask who send it to me. I just trust that my catgirl from other realm has found the right ingredients in energetic field so that through the modern technologies send me a CLEAR message that she really is in a wonderful place. That everything that has happened is perfect and even I couldn't save her with my emotional work, I do not have to blame myself or feel guilt. Everything is perfect. She is still with me in every moment of my life. And she will continue to communicate with me through signs if I will be ready to receive, until one day we will again be together FOREVER, in other realm.

Some big lessons for myself from all my situation are following:
- Even if you have find some really good things in life that inspire you and give you a lot of uplifting emotions, remember that there are also other good things or beings that desires your attention and love. In other words, even if something charges you up, if it is too much, it starts to deplete your energy. By example if you like long walks at the sea it is wonderful. A few hours long walk will definitely charge you up. But now imagine what will happen if you will every day walk at the sea not just a few hours, but more that 10 hours. Every day. In this case you quickly will start to lose energy. So even the good things in your life need to be in balance. Of course I didn't walk 10 hours at sea, but I "walked" long hours in my projects.
- Do not push too hard even good things in your life. If you do something that inspires you, but there are some big challenges that somehow temporarily blocks to use the full potential of this good and inspiring thing , try to calm down and let everything happen in its natural flow, instead of pushing to hard to get it as quick as as possible.
- Always choose love over fear.

After a few months i think my catgirl will help me to find new catgirls whom I will finally let into my life and fill my life with joy. There is no jealousy in other realm and my catgirl just wants me to be happy again. She will always be with me and will play with me and my new cats even from other realm.

I strongly recommend to everyone to watch on youtube Anita's Moorjani speech in Sedona, where she talks about her Near Death Experience, the things she has learned and in the end of the video there is a Q&A session where she answers also some questions about pets who have passed away.

It is very warm and comforting video for everyone.

And remember, your beloved pets are in a wonderful place, they still communicate with you and one day you will meet them again to be together FOREVER.

grievingmom

Registered:
Posts: 639
 #2 
How wonderful that you are finding comfort during this sad time.

The best to you,
Stephanie
Lu

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #3 
What a great story, I was on the edge of my seat! I'm so sorry about your Catgirl. Thanks for taking the time to share it with us. After my Lulu died I listened(and still do)  to a lot of NDE stories on Youtube. I know of Anita Moorjani; what an incredible story. I will watch the Sedona video as well. I keep finding objects in the shape of a heart and I hope they are signs from my Lulu. I would love to have a very specific sign such as yours, though! I also believe the love and energy of our pets lives on and that we will be with them again someday. 😉
InfiniteLove

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #4 
Thanks Stephanie!

And I wish the best for you too!😉
InfiniteLove

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #5 
Lu, I'm sure that those heart shaped objects are signs from your beloved LuLu! 😉 Our beloved pets still are constantly with us wherever we go and they send us signs. Our only job is to quiet our minds and be ready to receive/see/hear/feel etc. them.

P.S.
I don't know if this also is the sign, but the first two letters of my real life surname are Lu  And there was a period of time in my life when one girl sometimes used to call me LuLu. This same girl was the one who almost 11 years ago motivated me tp open up for a cat in my life and helped to find my catgirl. 😉

So maybe our cats now use us to help give signs to each other. Because Lu and LuLu are the words which are meaningful to both of us. 😉
Lu

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #6 
That is so cool, thanks for pointing out the name similarity 😉 I'm glad you think the heart-shaped objects are a sign, too. Each time I see one I thank her and tell her I love her. 😉
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