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Katieexi3

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Posts: 8
 #1 
My Blubell, an almost 3 year old Australian Shepherd, passed away on July 17th. Absolutely the worst day I have experienced in my 21 years of living. I got Blu when I was 18 years old and I wasn't living at home. At 20, I moved back home with my mom and dad. So, Blu had been living with them for two years at this point. They absolutely loved her, and she loved them. But, mostly me. She was a true companion. She was a best friend. She was friendly, but when another person would be petting her, she would still stare at me. People always told me it was crazy how obsessed she was with me. It was true love.

On July 17th, I was at a bridal shower and it was also my boyfriend's Dad's birthday. I went to that bridal shower and we went to his house to open gifts. My mom called me and I answered.. "Hello?" and all she said "Katie" and I could tell she had been crying so I walked away from the group of people I was with. All I heard her say was "Dad left Blu" and I replied, "Are you F** kidding me?" I didn't know what happened at that point. I asked if she was alive, and she said no. I hung up and ran to my boyfriend and just cried and cried until I could call her back and get the story. 

Blu had been running around with my dad all day. Going to stores, going to the bank, hanging in the backyard with him while he was cleaning out the barn. She never needed to be chained up or even have a collar on, because she always stayed nearby. My mom came out from relaxing in her room and realized Blu wasn't around. She asked my dad (who was laying on the couch at this point) if he had seen her. She asked him for the barn key code so she could go check if she got stuck in there. As she walked out back she heard my dad yell: "Bobbi- She's dead!" and my mom came running back inside to him holding and hugging her dead body, crying and saying "I'm so sorry girl, I didn't know. I'm so sorry" and just completely sobbing. Blu was accidental left in the car.

About an hour earlier, my dad was unloading my Mom's car and the hatch was open. She jumped in and got into the front part of the car. My dad didn't notice. He shut the hatch and went inside. She was left in there to die. When my mom asked if he had seen her, it hit him that the last time he saw her was when he was unloading the car. He had a bad feeling and he was right.

I went home right away and I laid with her body in the grass for a little bit and pet her and said my goodbyes. I am glad I got that closure. We buried her in the backyard with all of her favorite things: Her Frisbee (she was absolutely and completely obsessed with her Frisbee. She would drop it at your feet all day long and it was the first thing on her mind every morning.) Her leash and collar, she loved going on walks and runs with me. She had a great life even if it was just short of 3 years. She was a very spoiled girl but also the most loyal dog I've ever experienced. She was my baby Blu.

I know it was an accident, and my dad will never forgive himself, but I am having such a hard time losing her. My routine is completely changed. I used to wake up an hour early before work just so she could get some Frisbee play time in before I left. I don't even have a reason to go in my backyard anymore. My mom and dad feel the same. I miss her so much and I don't know how I will ever get over the feeling of missing her and wondering what she went through. I will keep her memories and pictures with me forever. I know she is playing Frisbee at the Rainbow Bridge until I get to her. 

How do you cope with losing a pet? Especially so tragically and sudden. I miss her so incredibly much already. It is so quiet and weird in my house.

PunkinMummy

Registered:
Posts: 1,038
 #2 
Dear Katie,

I am so very sorry for your loss of your dearly loved Blubell. I love her name and her beautiful blue eyes. What a pretty, pretty girl she is. You are so right it was a terrible accident and they happen no matter how much we love our little ones and try to keep them safe. Our little ones are just so quick at taking every possible opportunity to have fun and I am sure that is why Blu jumped in the hatch. I ache for you and your family. What a terrible shock for you all. I am glad you got some time to hold her and say goodbye to her before she was buried. I cried when I read about her beloved Frisbee being buried with her as I sent all of my babies' favorite things to be cremated with them. With so much love and great respect, like an Egyptian funeral.

Losing our babies is one of the hardest things we ever do in our lives and the road through grief is long, hard and lonely. I know these will just be words right now when your heart is breaking and your grief is so new and raw but please try to take care of yourself. Drink lots of fluids, eat protein and fruits if you can't make meals, take a multi-vitamin, rest when you can and keep coming here. It helps so much to be able to talk about them and still be their proud families here. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts in these difficult first days.

With my deepest sympathy,

Colleen

For Katie and Blu ~

When Somebody Dies, a Cloud Turns into an Angel 

When somebody dies, a cloud turns into
an angel, and flies up to tell God
to put another flower on a pillow.
A bird gives the message back to
the world, and sings a silent prayer
that makes the rain cry.  (They) dis-
appear, but they never really go away.
The spirits up there put the sun to
bed, wake up grass, and spin the
earth in dizzy circles. Sometimes you
can see them dancing in a cloud during
the daytime, when they're supposed
to be sleeping. They paint the rain-
bows and also the sunsets and make
waves splash and tug at the tide.
They toss shooting stars and listen to
wishes. And when they sing wind-
songs, they whisper to us –

“Don't miss me too much. The view is nice,
and I'm doing just fine.”

~ Ashley Rice

Katieexi3

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #3 
Ashley-

Thank you so very much for your kind words. People's words are what is making it easier for me. I wish I could just talk about Blu all day, forever. I would play frisbee for 24 hours straight a day if I could just have her back. I am starting to come to terms that she is gone. I think about her all day long, but it only really hurts bad when I walk into my house and she's not there. And I'm sure you know the feeling all too well. Dogs kisses and greetings at the door everyday is a blessing and I miss it so much. My routine is so different and I miss the little things the most: giving her a piece of cheese before I head off to work, getting the mail and her waiting at the end of the driveway until I am done, her laying right in front of the treadmill when I run, her thinking she's a lap dog and completely plopping on top of me, I miss it all. Thank you for the beautiful poem. I am going to print that out and add it to my scrapbook for her. I know things will get easier, I just miss her so incredibly much. Again, thank you for the kind words. They really truly help me.

Katie
pennyketchum

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #4 
This just happened to me. My daughter took the dog to the ranch to feed horses—like she always does on Saturdays—and upon her return she forgot the dog in the car!!!!! Nobody realized he was missing for 5 hours later when I got home from work. Of course I immediately asked where he was and she thought for a minute and jumped up. I ran to the car knowing it would be bad and it was. He was not gone yet, but he was too far gone to save and died on the way to the vet. Seeing him suffering in the end and thinking of him being in the car just KILLS ME! It was extremely traumatic and heartbreaking. He was THE BEST DOG EVER! Went off leash, was very obedient and was just so special. Everyone called him the perfect dog and he was. I’m so sorry about your precious Blu. I can completely relate. It is an UNBEARABLE reality to live with when they die so unexpectedly and in such a tragic way.💔🌈🐕
Katieexi3

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #5 
I am so so very sorry. I feel your pain. It is an awful feeling to know that our babies had to suffer. I will keep you in my prayers, I understand the pain you are feeling. It gets easier with time, but the hole never fills. Getting a new furry friend after you grieve is helpful. I’m thinking of you. ❤️
pennyketchum

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #6 
Thank you, the only thing that helps me right now is to talk about it. Especially with those who can relate.
pennyketchum

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #7 
Thank you, it really helps to talk about it, especially with those that went through it themselves. Your Blu sounded like one of a kind just like our Bucky. ❤️
Katieexi3

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #8 
It also helped me! I am always here to talk!
pb313

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #9 
Katie,
I am so sorry about Blu. She sounds like a fantastic girl.
Strangely, July 17th was the same day our sweet Raider passed. It was also a tragic accident. He has been around cars forever because at home he was NEVER on a leash, no reason to be. He stayed right in the yard or with us. He had moved a million times before but didn’t / couldn’t that time. We buried Raider with his favorite toys in our yard too.
You are right at the age of my sons. It makes me want to let you cry on my shoulder and me reassure you. Blu knew she was loved. And it only hurts this badly because we loved so deeply and we’re loved so purely. I can’t make the pain go away but she knew and she still knows.

Hugs.
Paula - Raider’s mom
Katieexi3

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #10 
Paula-

Your post made me tear up. Thanks for being so kind. She was a pretty awesome girl and I miss her everyday. I got a puppy a year later and it was from the same breeder. So- I now have Blu’s sister and her name is Sadie. Blu left a huge hole in my heart and Sadie helped to fill that hole. She reminds me so much of her.

I am so incredibly sorry to hear about Raider. Our fur babies are family and it is so painful when they have to go. I pray for comfort for your family. ❤️
pb313

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #11 
Karie,
Sadie is a lucky girl and so are you. To find live twice in a lifetime! ♥️

And thank you so much for the prayers. Our babies are at peace.
Monkey2018

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #12 
OMG - I will start a new post as well but I felt I needed to comment on these. This also just happened to me. It wasn't being left in the car but my father-in-law was visiting from Thailand and just left today. Two days ago August 28/2018 we lost our 9 year old active, in shape and healthy Havanese/Maltese best friend called Monkey. My g/f's dad absolutely loved Monkey and spent every visiting day with him. Took him for walks, slept with him and always called for him. August 28th morning he went out in the back yard to throw his favourite ball. There is a busy street nearby but I always warned him to throw the ball towards the grassy area where there is no road. I'm not 100% sure hat happened but I was at work and my g/f calls me sobbing like crazy. I knew something went wrong. I thought it was maybe her mum who recently had a stroke but it was Monkey. All I can hear her say was Monkey die please come home. I got in my car at 8:30 am and rushed home. There I entered the house and I couldn't even look at my father-in-law and saw my g/f sobbing holding Monkey in her arms. He was gone. Hit by a car as the ball rolled onto the road. A little bloody and nothing mattered. We sat there together on the swing and simply cried. I built a coffin and buried him on the acreage where he grew up with a gorgeous view of the mountains. 

I joined this group because we are having a heck of a time coping. There isn't a minute we don't think of him. I will post more on a new topic as this is so fresh but we can't eat nor sleep. 

I completely understand what you are going through. I pray this passes soon but we are still grieving. Wish you all the best ..... so sorry to hear about your story too.
pennyketchum

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #13 
I’m so sorry to hear about Monkey. It was just last Saturday that we lost our dog and it is unbearable so I totally understand your pain. I had to take a Xanax in order two sleep for two nights. I’m not normally a pill popper so I powered through after those first two nights because the last thing my family needs is for mom to get addicted to Xanax! It’s just paralyzing and so hard to do anything! 😭Again, I’m so sorry and will keep you in my thoughts. Big hugs to you (( ❤️ )) With love and light ~ Penny

P.S. It really helps to talk about it and share with others so I’m glad we all have this forum of people who have similar stories and can relate.
pennyketchum

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #14 
I’m so sorry to hear about Monkey. It’s so unbearable when pets die, and especially when it’s unexpected and traumatic. We beat ourselves up with the what if this and what if that because we just want so bad to rewind time and have a do-over! I also was just paralyzed for a few days and I still struggle to get motivated to do anything other than stare in space. I had to take a Xanax to sleep for a couple nights. I was just so mad, and sad I couldn’t deal!!!!! My heart goes out to you. Big hugs ((❤️)) with love and light. ~Penny
pb313

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #15 
Penny and Monkey,
I am so very, very sorry for your losses. It is paralyzing to loss a pet. They are family members and so many people do not understand that. You are in a safe place to mourn and celebrate your sweet babies. May you find peace and comfort.

Paula - Raider’s mom
Klwilson1121

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Posts: 1
 #16 
I’m on vacation over seas and receives news that my 5 year old bichon Frise was hit by a car and died. He was with my husband who was at his dads house fixing up cars. The pup ran in front of my father in laws car. My husband loved the little dog more than anything in the world and will never forgive himself. But I’m so angry. And I know it was an accident. But I don’t think I want to see his dad right now. I miss him so much and being far away makes me so angry. I am always scolding my husband for forgetting to lock doors and not holding our daughters hand in parking lots. Not keeping the dogs on leashes. He always acts like I’m over reacting. How do I not bring this up every time he is careless? How do I see my father in law again and not be angry?
KatKat

Registered:
Posts: 171
 #17 
I'm so sorry.  How sad and awful.  I can't speak for all men, but I know my husband is always much more "relaxed" with situations than I am and it can be very trying and stressful at times.  In the beginning it is probably going to be difficult for you not to be angry at your husband and father-in-law, this is a normal reaction.  It's ok to be sad and angry with the situation.  You're right it is an accident, most likely preventable if the dog had not been running free around the cars but not a purposeful act.  This situation as well as the poor dogs that were left in cars is so heart wrenching and I am so sorry for everyone's loss and pain.

2 weeks ago, I made a mistake and because of it my dog killed my kitten.  The grief and guilt have been heart wrenching and exhausting.  I have been so angry at myself but I know in order to heal I am going to have to begin to forgive myself, I'm just not there yet.  I'm in counseling and I think it's helped a little.

My thoughts are with all of you, losing a pet that loves and trusts us is that much harder when we see things as preventable.  
Katieexi3

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #18 
I understand your anger, I really do. Take your time to grieve. Anger is a part of that. Just remember that you know he would never intentionally do this. He is feeling awful and will have to live with this. I was very angry too. But, seeing the pain in my dads eyes was difficult and made it impossible to not forgive him. I am so so sorry, it’s an awful feeling losing our fur babies. I am thinking of you.

Katie
Katieexi3

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Posts: 8
 #19 
I am so very sorry for your lose too. It really is so hard. Take your time to grieve. We will see them again someday.
Ballouey91

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Posts: 3
 #20 
This weekend I went away for the first time since w having kids. It had been 7 years. I left my husband in charge of the kids and two dogs. Yesterday I got the worst call I’ve ever received. Ballou, our 8 year old rescued basset/beagle somehow snuck into our car parked in the driveway and the door was shut. He was found 2 hours later. Of course I wasn’t there.

I’m so sad. So angry. So confused. And worst of all, I miss my furry friend. I love dogs hard and am really taking this hard. We’ve put two down but it saw throes coming f and got to say goodbye. I didn’t even say goodbye. He had so much more life to live.
KatKat

Registered:
Posts: 171
 #21 
So heart-wrenching.  It's always hard to lose a pet we love and nurture.  This is such an unfortunate situation and It leaves one reeling with grief, anger and thoughts of "how could this happen."  I'm so sorry for all of you.  Because of my mistake I lost my kitten and have been dealing with anger, grief, remorse, what ifs and wishes that I could turn back time and change how I handled things the day it happened.  Unfortunately, there's no turning back time it only goes forward and I have to continue to work through all of my emotions so that I can begin to forgive myself.  Your family did not mean for this to happen, we get caught up in our lives and lose focus sometimes and, unfortunately, a sad and tragic accident can happen.  I hear your pain and acknowledge your grief and sense of loss that you are feeling. Please keep reaching out. 
pennyketchum

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #22 
I completely understand what you are going through. A few months ago my 18 year old daughter forgot our 4 year old rescue dog in the car for 5 hours! When we found him we all saw him suffering before he died and it was horrific! The thought of him suffering just about killed me. People kept telling me that it would get easier, but that only made me mad! I didn’t want it to get easier! I wanted to turn back time and fix it and I wanted my dog back! The anger I felt toward my daughter was a whole other issue because I know she was already riddled with guilt. It still heart wrenching to think about, but we talk about him all the time and feel he is with us in spirit. Life is hard! Bad things happen. Our job is to learn the lesson and then live life to the fullest. Our dogs would have it no other way. It does get easier as time passes, but the pain is still there. my heart goes out to you.❤️
Katieexi3

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #23 
I am so so sorry. It’s an awful feeling and I am thinking about you. <3
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