Registered: 1158996439 Posts: 5
On Sunday evening Kola, my 16yr old Siamese cat got very ill. We took him to
the emergency vet who couldn't really find anything obvious. Seems he had a stroke, as he was staggering and vomited. :-( They recommended blood tests at our usual vet the next day. His blood tests came back showing liver damage and an infection which we treated. He stayed at the vet till the day after my birthday. He came home on Wednesday and he and I had a cuddle for an hour whilst he purred and I slept. He held my hands to him with his paws. He still wasn't well. We thought he may be getting better, but he had another stroke and was confused, twitching and staggering. My poor baby. The vet assured us he wasn't in any pain. We took him back to the vet and we made the decision to have him put to sleep that evening. I held him as they injected him. I had promised him it wouldn't hurt, but it did, a little. I was very upset about that. I cried and cried. He knew he was going. I pray he forgives me for doing what I needed to. He was such a dignified cat that he would have been upset at not being able to walk. The vet was wonderful. He treated us all with such care and allowed us to stay with Kola before and after as long as we all needed to. After Kola's first stroke I knew he wasn't really all with us. His soul was already half gone. I can feel an animal's essence when I put my forehead to theirs. His felt sort of thin and stretched. After the second stroke more was gone. He wanted that last cuddle and purr with me to say goodbye. I knew that's what it was. After he was put to sleep his soul was all gone when I put my forehead to his. He was free. I miss him so much. I still cry often for him. It was the right thing to do, but I still cry. We all cry. He's probably up at the Rainbow Bridge now giving Bracha a good wash. Bracha died some years ago now, but she and Kola got on really well. Even though Bracha was a dog, they used to curl up on the couch together and Kola would wash her. He's probably saying to her, 'haven't you washed at ALL since you got here?!" LOL He gave so much love and joy to our lives. He was my sweet purr boy.
Registered: 1158797419 Posts: 26
I can totally understand what you are feeling. I helped my cat, Big boy to the Bridge on Thursday morning. It is a very hard decision to make but we have showed that we love them so much by letting them go and be free of pain and suffering. Like someone on my post told me "He is now chasing the butterflies in the meadows". What a wonderful place that must be. As I will always miss my Big Boy, you will always miss your Kola. He now lives in your heart and always will. Kola has never really left you, he is by your side watching you and probably licking the tears from your face. It sounds like you loved each other more than anyone can put into words. That is something noone or anything can ever take away from you.
Take care of yourself and you will be in my prayers.
Registered: 1157206612 Posts: 1,604
Your beloved Kola lived good, long years on Earth, obviously - so obviously! - loved - and he returned that love. He stills returns it, more profoundly than before,for now he has a fuller understanding of love.
I have been told that the injection does sting a bit; that's probably all it was. But that was so momentary - gone almost before you & Kola knew it. And compared to the suffering he'd endured with the strokes, it was nothing. And instantaneously forgotten - in the blink of an eye, he was at the Bridge, met by Bracha (who knew he was coming) and many, many other friends. He lives at the Bridge now, gloriously alive, absolutely healthy, and wonderfully happy - waiting for *you*! Just as Kola is part of your heart, so will he be part of your Eternity, for your hearts are entwined by love.
May Kola's Creator hold you gently in the hollow of His hands, comfort you, and lead your heart to peace.
Registered: 1157277960 Posts: 40
I am so very sorry about your loss of Kola. It's such a sad time for you that I feel foolish in my attempt at consolation. But, I hope to say something helpful and it is this: I believe that it is very difficult, but also rewarding, to share the last days and hours of a dignified cat. They reverse the roles...they take over...set the pace...depart slowly but irreversably....let
us go...tell us it's time..hesitate for us to catch up....then exit quietly and with style. Worry not about that momentary final pain; Kola knew, accepted, and loved . All pets love and accept us and the decisions we must make in our fumbling human way on their behalf, and that is really very wonderful. Dignified pets, well, they tend to lead, direct, console, manage and arrange. What's a human to do? Accept love and give love. So simple? Could it be?
My Libby was also a dignified cat. Letting go wasn't a request with her; she 'called in the chips' and let me know that I must comply with the bargain we'd agreed to (soul to soul) when she was my very new tiny kitten.
Cherish your memories of Kola for the rest of your days.
Love and Blessings,
Registered: 1158955072 Posts: 11
Very sorry to hear about your loss.
Registered: 1158577516 Posts: 25
I'm so sorry about your Kola. I know how hard it is...and that you did the right thing.
Please be gentle with yourself now. Kola I am sure is still with you in spirit and great love. hugs.
Registered: 1158996439 Posts: 5
I want to thank everyone for their kind words and comforting thoughts. It's really appreciated. I still cry every day, but I know that Kola is still around *somewhere*. I dreamt of him yesterday and planted a kiss atop his head. It was so real I could feel the little ridges of fur under my lips. He purred and purred. I woke up smiling but with a heartache you wouldn't believe once I realised (again) that he was gone.
hugs, sandi Kola "Kola Koala" "Sweet Purr Boy" "Dear Sweet Boy" 15 September 1990 - 20 September 2006
Registered: 1157342062 Posts: 2,719
I am so very sorry for your loss of Kola. It is so very hard to loose these wonderful furkids who are so much a part of our lives and families. You have my deepest sympathy.
Try not to feel guilty for having him PTS. He is happy and healthy at the bridge and he's young again. He is probably chasing a butterfly in a field of flowers, daydreaming about you and waiting patiently for you to join him again someday.
Come here often for support and comfort. We all understand what you are going through.
Bless you and the spirit of your beloved Kola.
Love, Diane, mom of Dallas, at the bridge nearly 4 yrs.
Registered: 1289725050 Posts: 2
I recently had to go through the hardest thing in my life. It started on Tuesday Nov 9th. I got up one morning and let my dog Wendy out to go to the bathroom. Went and brush my teeth and came back to the door and she was not their. I got up and around and went looking for her, and could not find her. When I got off work me and my husband went looking for her. He found her in the pond. She was dead. Wendy was 15 yrs old. I have problems sleeping cause did she go there to die or did she drown. I miss her so much and it breaks my heart that she is gone. I feel like its my fault that she is gone. Why did I let her out? Someone please help me....