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Jmartini33

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Posts: 2
 #1 
I had two dogs a French bulldog (would have turned 4 in December) and a Labrador retriever (3 years old). A little background story I love both my pets but my French bulldog was literally my child. He would come with me everywhere, always cuddling, always by my side, he was my sidekick. We recently moved into our new house a few weeks ago, mostly to give us and our dogs a better life. My husband and I have no kids and this house had such a big yard and pool to keep our Labrador occupied.. On the 29th (Monday) my whole world changed. I let both my dogs out in the backyard as I typically do to go potty and catch some sun rays as I needed to run errands that morning and wanted them to stretch their legs outside. I went out front to check something in my car and put some stuff together to leave and when I went back inside I noticed my frenchie at the bottom of the pool. I dove in and brought him out and did whatever I could to save him but did not succeed. I remember doing CPR until he started pooping and bleeding out of his nose, that’s when I realized he was actually gone. I blame myself everyday, I believe my frenchie deserved more than to just drown in our pool, I let him down. Our Labrador even tried to save him by pushing him to the edge of the pool. And me? His mother? Not even noticing what’s going on...My frenchie knew how to swim but he was too heavy and would sink, so he always knew not to go in the pool. Unfortunately his foot slipped into the pool and his weight dragged him down. A couple days prior to this I was holding my frenchie in the pool showing him where the stairs were just in case he needed to know, I had planned on doing this several times so he knew where the stairs would be, I guess in the state of panic he didn’t remember where the stairs were. It’s so hard to move passed this as I feel like such a horrible mama, and that’s it’s all my fault. I love him so much and wish I could take it all back.
Rockymom

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Posts: 9
 #2 
I am so, so sorry for losing your little Frenchie to drowning. It is a traumatic experience like none other as those of us who have also experienced it know all too well.

I lost my little Maltese Rocky to drowning in early April, only four days after moving into our new home. We had purchased what I considered to be our dream home but now every time time I go out to the pool area, which is right outside our back doors, I am reminded of how he died. Rocky was one month shy of 16, not seeing or hearing well enough to gauge perception, and his hind legs were so weak that he needed a rear harness. I had to go run errands, closed the back doors as I did for the three previous days, but I think in his quest to go back to our old home, he must have pushed through them with all his might, fallen down two steps, and just wondered to the pool without knowing what was ahead of him. I am still grappling with how he got out. I am still haunted by the image of him floating in the water and wondering how much he may have suffered trying to get out. If only I had done this ... or that.... I now believe, after much reflection, that I didn’t know the extent to which he could get out, I didn’t yet know the house well enough to know how capable he was of pushing through those back doors.

I have been told often that we never really get over this but we eventually learn to accept that this was a tragic accident. I am slowing coming to terms with that reality. Reading and writing on this site has been comforting to learn that we are not alone in our guilt and grief. Don’t hold back your feelings, cry when you have, write about it, talk about it. Try to remember the happy times with him. Building a little shrine for Rocky has helped me. You would never deliberately hurt him and you loved him with all your heart as I loved my Rocky. We gave them the best lives possible and put them first without hesitation.

I wish you peace as you move forward.
Jmartini33

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Posts: 2
 #3 
I buried you over this pat weekend, i buried you at your favorite place to be right by Bandit (Our family dog that passed away earlier this year due to old age). I’m grateful to know you were finally put to rest and that I have a place to come visit you. I still have dreams about saving you. I miss you so much and would give anything to have you back. A week after you died I found out I was pregnant I like to think you gave me this gift of life as it has been difficult for me to get pregnant. We got a new puppy and he is such a sweet boy but he will never take your place in my heart.
I
We have decided to include your nickname in the child’s name as a middle name. I hope this pregnancy goes perfect because I feel like that’s one of the closest things I have to you. You would have been a great big brother. Watch over us my sweet boy, until we meet again <3
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