Registered: 1332038966 Posts: 33
Sorry this is so long.
3 days ago, my newest adopted dog killed one of our family's cats, and I was there, and I am so freaked out about it, that I think I actually have PTSD. I've never felt so whacked out before. I can hardly even look at my other kitties. I keep seeing Katie, the one who was killed.
We decided to put the dog down, because we didn’t feel he was safe to rehome; he was very big and
maybe he could have been trained to control his prey drive, but then again, maybe not. I would never forgive myself if he killed someone’s pet, or worse, someone’s child. I’m always going to err on the side of caution with a potentially dangerous large dog – sorry if that offends anyone, but I’m not going to change my view on that, I don’t think.
He had been tested with cats before we adopted him and he did okay. He did, however, try to kill my MIL's toy breed dog [at the time, I mistook his intentions as wanting to play, not hurt, but know I know better]. I'd worked with the dog, on leash, in the house, with my other cats, teaching him not to chase/lunge at them, although I hadn't gotten to the point of letting him loose.
Due to lots of upheaval in my family and me having very little time, in early Feb., I had my husband put the new dog in our workshop kennel with our other dog, just for a few weeks, until things calmed down. We also had a foster dog in the kennel out there and they all got along great. My husband had the dogs loose in the shop at times, mingling with the two shop cats, and didn't have any real problems. He had to correct the new dog sometimes for getting too worked up nosing at the cats, but nothing that alarmed him. I had to take the foster pup for her checkup, and when I opened the inside gate to get her, the new dog pushed past me and went after our blind cat, Katie. She knew her way around the shop, but she was panic mode and ran right into a pile of stuff, and he got ahold of her. I got to him as quickly as I could and grabbed his collar, telling him NO and Drop It, but he went nuts and tore her up. It was like being in a horror movie for real, blood spattering on me and everything. I was screaming and crying, and I knew in seconds that she was fatally injured. I was hysterical for 15 minutes or so afterwards, and I am still really messed up over it.
Right now, I am totally focused on the cat's death, and I have zero feelings about the dog - like, none, not anger, not sadness....just nothing. I know that’s a red flag. I wanted that dog so bad – I had looked and looked for well over a year, for exactly what I wanted and finally found what I thought was my dream dog. Yes, he needed some work, and everyone who had handled him figured he’d been abused, but he was under 2 yrs old and very eager to please, so I thought of him as a fixer-upper. I should feel betrayed, devastated… something, for him, but I don’t. Maybe I would have PTSD even if that hadn't happened. It's been a very, very bad couple of months, and before that several months of pretty tough to handle events, as well: my husband's grandma died, he lost his job [and our health insurance - yikes!], then my MIL moved here with us, living on our property in an RV, which was a proposal I had vetoed, yet it happened anyways. Surely 2012 will be better, I thought.
Both of my grandmas died 6 weeks ago, 27 hours apart.
One of those deaths – the second one – was not terribly unexpected; she was 96. But the timing of it made it a shock. The first, the grandma who practically raised me, died because of irreversible damage done to her while she was staying in the rehab wing of a nursing home. She went in there reasonably healthy [for a 90 yr old] but needing muscle rehab, and they jacked her up so bad that she died. A week or so later, a close friend's sister lost her battle with cancer [a short battle - very fast growing lung mass], and then almost two weeks ago today, a family whose daughter is one of my daughters best friends discovered their 3 year old boy died in the night. It was some virus, nothing they did wrong, and they had taken him to a doc a few days prior. So, I've really quite had my fill of death.
I just can’t stop thinking about Katie, and how helpless she was, and how I couldn’t save her.
We’d had her for 9 years, starting with fostering her when she was 4 wks old. She was smaller than her two littermate brothers, but healthy; then when she was spayed, she died on the operating table – twice – and suffered brain damage, including the blindness. The shelter let me bring her home to see if she could recover, because right after surgery, she just screamed and hollered in her cage and was freaking out.
So, when I had my baby girl, I was also caring for this itty bitty blind kitten, who was so precious – everyone who met her adored her. She became a workshop cat because she had this terrible fixation with harassing one of my old cats, and that cat started housesoiling. I had the old one tested & tested to rule out physical causes, so then we decided to move Katie to the shop to alleviate the problem. She was so funny – she didn’t pester the other two old cats…only the one that was uber-grouchy and hated everybody. My husband got so attached to her [he spends a lot of time in the shop], and he is heartbroken, too, but he didn’t have to see it happen like I did. It was so horrific – I don’t know how to get past it and feel normal again.
Registered: 1326028362 Posts: 2,537
I am so sorry for your loss of Katie. What a horrible, tragic death to have to witness, as well. I can only imagine how much shock you are in. How traumatic this is. I can not find the words to express how sorry I am.
You have been going through so much to begin with, and for something as horrible as this to happen, well, it is just unimaginable.
The dog most likely had something wrong with him to have so much agression. I do not blame you for having no feeling towards him as you were actually there, in the moment, when he killed your Katie. Katie was innocent and helpless and her death is truly tragic.
I hope you come here often, express yourself and your grieving as much as possible, we will try to help you as best we can. Everyone here shares your extreme grief, as far as losing one of your little ones. There are also people here on these boards who have experienced similiar deaths with their babies.
Hopefully, they will answer your post as they have more experience with this type of situation than I do. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Registered: 1164162392 Posts: 1,910
I am so sorry for the loss of your Katie. All my furred ones have been cats, and you have lived one of my very worst nightmares, seeing one be killed and not being able to prevent it.
I completely agree with you that the only choice was to have the dog that killed her put to sleep. That kind of viciousness is simply too dangerous, when he attacked without provocation nor threat on Katie's part. A large dog who cannot, for whatever reason, control himself and has killed like that has something very seriously wrong. Reading through your post, the dog's previous behavior doesn't sound that dangerous to me, more like overexuberance and lack of training, which he was getting with you. You've had so much death and other losses recently, this on top of everything else seems almost too much to bear. This has been a horrible year for you, one thing trauma after another. I don't know what to say, please know my thoughts are with you as you grieve.
Registered: 1326342541 Posts: 2,440
I am so sorry. I don't even have words to express how sorry I am that you and Katie had to go through such an experience. I think dog or cat - sometimes you never know what triggers them. And with a big dog and their natural prey instincts...it is harder.
I know that your Katie is loved and now that she has gone on ahead of you and crossed Rainbow Bridge, she can see again. She can see your beautiful face; I am sure she "imagined" it throughout the years but oh what a special sight she is now blessed with. Know that she is always with you and never forgotten. Take care. InMemoryOfRascal
Registered: 1219887733 Posts: 11,059
I am very sorry your precious Katie has passed on. Her death was such an unfortunate tragedy. My heart goes out to you and your family for all that you have gone through. Are you considering some kind of grief counseling? I think most people would find it very difficult to move on after witnessing Katie's death. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Mare-wolf precious Christoph ~ sweet bunny boy ~
Registered: 1266266435 Posts: 22
I am so terribly sorry for your loss of katie, i do not blame you for not having feelings for your dog that is to be expected. katie does not blame you she loves you for being there for her in her time of need. Please do not blame yourself, you did everything you could. Please come back and let us know how you are doing.Everyone here understands what you are going through.
Love and hugs.
Registered: 1320096266 Posts: 1,779
I'm so very sorry for the tragic death of your Katie. I can understand how you would not have feelings for the dog. I think by putting the dog down was the best thing to do under the circumstances. You couldn't take a chance of him attacking another animal or person. I feel your pain and again I'm so very sorry. I think Mare is right in you and your family seeking grief counseling.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Registered: 1157161163 Posts: 1,821
i am so very sorry for both of your losses and all the hardship before these 2 losses. We have lost several kitties due to a neighbor's aggressive dog and i know for me i felt as if i had been mauled - that pain and helplessness was like no other i have ever felt. We also lost a perfectly healthy 9 month old kitten due to a handling error by the tech at our vets when he was taken in for his shots and neutering (the tech - even after my warning that he was terrified of dogs - removed him from the carrier to be weighed next to a dog kennel. After Fuzzy was finally removed from the young man's head, the tech needed stitches, and because he was in for initial shots and had not had a rabies vaccine,and based on the severity of the damage he did, Fuzzy had to be rabies tested. Even my vet said he knew the test would be negative.) Signing those papers to allow them to euthanize my poor scared boy was the hardest thing i have ever done - i was not even allowed to be with him or to say goodbye, and i went home numb afterwards. Katie knows you love her and did your best - and she loves you and that when so many would have given up on her you gave her a chance and love and happiness. Right now you are too hurt to cope with the loss of your adopted pup - have dealt with too many losses, and that seems to bother you in the post - (" I should feel betrayed, devastated… something, for him, but I don’t. ") - that you don't feel anything right now is okay also - likely normal after all the pain you have been through, but i have an idea that it is probably temporary due to numbness where your mind simply said 'enough, this is all i can handle!' It is likely going to be something that will surface later when you are better able to cope, and we will be here for you then also. And he likely understood as soon as his feet touched the ground at Rainbow Bridge. Your pup knows how much you love him - and that that love is so strong that you were willing to bear the pain to set him free from the demons and allow him to have peace.Maybe it does not feel like that right now - but you said yourself, he could not be re-homed because it would be too dangerous. So on some level you did consider options for him and decide that the road you took was the best choice.
Mental illness is an illness - and like any other illness can cause our companion animals a great deal of pain. I know the Gentle One’s is about a pup – but we here have seen other than pups with aggression issues – it’s not about size or species. ALL of the names except for the Little One in 'The Gentle Ones' are names were have seen here posted by another with a shattered heart due to aggression. Not all we have seen here were pups - mental illness does not target only one species. Not all of the names are here - some came before Candace came to these boards, some came after the tale was written - but all share the same story.
It seemed the day was even grayer than even the greyest of days. The pup found she was suddenly at the edge of the most beautiful place she had ever seen. She could still feel Mom and Dad's tears, hear their sobs. "I'm so sorry Mom and Dad, I really did try but the demons are too strong and sometimes they pushed through." She lowered her head and began to walk away, to be sure she did not deserve to be someplace so lovely. A radiant being in white suddenly stood in her path, surrounded by many other pups of all sizes and breeds. "Please," she implored, "I don't want to, but if you stay near me sooner or later the demons will win and I may hurt one of you. I don't want to hurt anyone, its best if I just go." The radiant being just smiled at her - a soft compassionate smile, at that moment they reminded her of her Mom and Dad. "I let them down so many times, I didn't want the demons to win but sometimes they do. And I left them no choice, I let them down and hurt them yet again." Hero, Seabreeze, Heather, Charlie, Molly, John, Stashie, Hershey, Samson, Morgan, Niko, Jordan, Timber, Dixie, Buddy, Tina, Snickers, Dizzy, Harley, Jack, Kimmi, Sammy, Fender, Tosca, Bruno, tried to gather around the newcommer but she backed away. Seabreeze stepped forward, "We won't hurt you little one." She looked to the radiant being and whimpered, "Please make them leave. I don't want to hurt anyone else." Now the radiant being smiled and actually seemed amused. "Little One, reach within. Can you feel that? Can you feel the demons are gone?" The little one got quiet and after a moment looked up in amazement, "They ARE gone!!" Then she looked at the others around her, "But I've done so many bad things, I don't deserve nice friends. I don't deserve to be in such a wonderful place." Now the others all looked amused. Dizzy spoke up first, "We all felt that way at first." Slowly Dizzy's words filtered in. "You mean . . . ., I am not the only one?" she asked quietly. Tina pushed to the front, "Of course not, all our humans had to make that same choice as yours. But now you're free - the demons are gone." The Little one thought on Tina's words. "What about Mom and Dad? Can I let them know I am free, that I'm sorry?" At that moment all the others grew quiet, the Little One looked to the radiant being and realized they were gone. She looked to the rest afraid their silence meant no. Just then a large silver wolf walked up to her, she knew she should fear a wolf, yet, somehow knew she could trust The Silver One. "Have you all finished monopolizing her time yet? If you are done she still needs to be shown the reflection pond, to be shown . . " Just then the Little One heard a familiar sound, her Mom and Dad. "They are here?" she asked, and she followed the sound. She found herself by the clearest crystal pond, and when she looked into the pond she saw her Mom and Dad." Concentrate on them, Little One. Send your love and thanks to them - from your heart to theirs - and they will feel your love." the Silver One said gently. As she watched her Mom and Dad seemed to calm even thought they were still crying, and her Mom looked up at her Dad, "She is at peace now wrapped in our love." The Little One looked at the Silver One and the others, "Thank You." The Silver One looked at the others and back at her, "You can see them anytime you wish from here. The others will show you how to send them your love, Little One." (c) Candace 11/13/09 All too often people do not want to discuss this type loss, so those who experience making the decision due to issues feel they are alone. aggression All the names of the other ones are real – Fur angels we have seen at PetLoss because their parents had to make that sad decision due to issues. i am sure there are other names also - newer names and names I have accidentally left out. aggression We understand - know that that sometimes there is no choice and we understand that you are in pain. But your fur child will be with the other fur angels - free of the demons he fought against so hard.
Registered: 1329999978 Posts: 339
I'm so sorry for both of your losses and for all of the heartache you are having to endure.
You are in my thoughts and my prayers. Take care, Terri
Registered: 1331749000 Posts: 84
What a traumatic event for you to experience! No wonder you are feeling so unsettled- anyone who had to witness a brutal death like that would be. Give yourself some time to see if the horrific images fade, and as someone here said, it helps to come to the board and talk to others about it. (If the horrific images don't fade and you remain really freaked out, then you may indeed have something like PTSD and there are specific treatments for that which are very, very helpful). My second cat was murdered by a neighbor's dog about 26 years ago. I didn't witness the murder, but one of the gang of kids who let their dog loose to see what it would do to my (also visually impaired!) cat- and the dog then killed the cat- told me where the gang of kids buried my cat in a shallow grave. It was a horrendous image to be left with, and I still sometimes think of it and feel so helpless and powerless to have been there with her at the end. There is little we can do but to remember all the years she felt loved and cared for. I am so very sorry. Please let us know how you are doing.
Registered: 1332038966 Posts: 33
You are all so kind! Reading all these responses is very encouraging and comforting. I really appreciate all of you taking the time to ready my story and to reply.
It's very helpful also, to hear some agreement about my decision to put the dog down. One of my animal rescue associates/friends vehemently disagrees with me on that, and it's a topic we just can't talk about together. She has a dangerous dog that she's gone through lots and lots of effort to keep around, so she kind of takes it personally that I chose not to do that with mine. She and I usually agree on euthanasia decisions, too, so it's awkward with her now. Today is like a "try and get back to normal" day for me, so we shall see how that goes. I got really sick last week with a cold/fever virus [maybe strep throat, too, since my kiddo had it the week prior], and I am finally getting somewhat better from that. Today, my kiddo is at school, and I am able to function physically again. I decided to take a leave of absence from my rescue work; I'm on the board of our local humane society effort, and it's a lot of work, as we have no shelter, just foster care at home. I hate doing that because it's the one thing I have going on that is "just for me," so to speak, but other obligations I have can't be set aside - like taking care of my family, settling my grandma's estate, etc. I'm trying not to associate the humane society work I do with Katie's death, but it is tied to it - if I hadn't gone out there to get my foster pup, this might not have happened. But, at the same time, I know you can "what if" yourself into infinity and it solves nothing. If I hadn't moved the new dog to the shop, if only my husband had been home, if only I'd made sure Katie was up on top of something where she'd be safe before I opened the dog gate, if, if, if... The post with the Gentle Ones made me cry. Probably a good thing. :) I am looking around locally for some grief support. I can't really afford private counseling and we're just above the threshold for qualifying for low income rates, but I've heard there is a local group that meets. I definitely need some help. My daughter is not easy to deal with a lot of times, and I found myself really needing to not be around her this weekend. That's not really workable long term. LOL
Registered: 1330356183 Posts: 44
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Katie, and the foster pup as well. I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling right now. "The Gentle Ones" was also very good for me to read. I have always had a hard time with the euthanization of aggressive pets - even tho I totally understand it on a basic human level - it still bothers me; I can't help that. But reading The Gentle Ones truly helps me see it in a different way.
I hope you are able to find some peace in the coming months. Please don't "if" yourself over this. You did everything you could to help Katie and the foster pup. My thoughts are with you. ~blessed be
Registered: 1331207166 Posts: 46
I am sooo sorry for your loss of your Katie. What a horrible thing for her to go through and you to see it happen. I don't blame you for putting the dog to sleep. God only knows what abuse that dog may have been through and what other tragic things could have happened in the future. You have been through alot lately and I think you need to just take time for yourself and to heal. I know you will be haunted by the visions of your Katie being attacked by your dog and I'm sooo sorry that you will have to go through that. Always remember that you have friends here and we are always here to listen and offer comfort. Please take it one day at a time and ask God to help you through this terrible time.
Hugs and God Bless, Lauri Kasey's Mom
Registered: 1201648552 Posts: 846
Oh my goodness! You poor dear. I'm shocked and terribly saddned by your story. I'm at a complete loss of words. Please know that you and your hubby will be in my prayers during this very dark time. You definitely did the right thing putting your foster pup down. He must have been sick to do such a thing. And your sweet little Katie is in God's arms now, and loves you to the bridge & back. Please let us know how you are doing. God bless you.....big hugs. ♥
Gerlie (Gypsy and Luna...my angels)
Registered: 1289411984 Posts: 1,541
My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry you lost your Katie. You did everything you could and I'm sure the shock of it all was just horrible. I am pretty good in a crisis - unless it involves one of my babies - then I become a blubbering idiot. I believe you have absolutely no feelings about the dog because right now you just cannot. The shock was just too much and you just can't go there. Be kind to yourself and take your time. Grief, I believe, is the most difficult thing in life to accept, cope, live with and just managing to find the energy to get out of bed every day is a chore. Please don't blame yourself - you didn't know - I am so sorry. Hugs. YorkieHeidi
Registered: 1247873677 Posts: 555
Life just throws us some terrible, terrible situations. How we get through them is somewhat amazing but we do. All events fade however tragic and slowly the horror of what has happened to Katie will not be the complete focus of your mind, flashes of the scene and all the events and consequences will gradually loose their intensity. Even though it seems like and endless and never ending movie that you can't escape from. My beautiful and loving little cat was killed by a neighbours dog, I didn't see it actually happen but I heard it....and when I rushed out I scooped her up in my arms but she was dead. I still see it and hear it all even though it was many years ago now but as I said before it does fade and in the early days I told myself that over and over again. I won't go into what happened to the dog, as it was a long story, suffice to say it didn't get destroyed, a decision I had to make. Dearly beloved little Katie, she should have never ended her days in such a terrible way yet somehow what happens in the animal world is nature and we cannot change their primal behaviour no matter how much we want to. Come to this site as often as you need to, it will be very often and that will help, write it all down and read it and share it over and over. You and your family have been through so much, there is only so much coping we can do alone. I see Mare suggests perhaps some grief councelling might be appropriate, and I think she is right. But if that's not possible use this wonderful site to help in any way it can. The candle ceremony and the chat room are places of great help. Dear, I wish there was more to do or say to help, but at least know we are all hear and available. I pray God to help to give you peace and acceptance and forgiveness. JanH...across the water.
Registered: 1162335502 Posts: 460
Dear Scarlett 812,
I understand your grief and I mourn with you in your loss. You have a whole lot going on in your life, and it seems like there is really too much to handle.
God bless you for your efforts. And please know that your furry babies will meet you at the Rainbow Bridge when that time comes.
I would also like to offer some advice: Simplify your life. Do not take on any more animals. Take a good look at those you currently have, and ask yourself if there are any potential problems that might happen. You might want to have a friend help you evaluate.
If you DO see the potential for problems, please remove the possible aggressive animal, and
them to an environment that will be suitable to their temperment. transfer
With your busy life, please,
please, do not try to add new animals into the mix that you already have. I know you feel very bad about what happened. OK, sometime tragedies happen despite our good intentions. It is important to learn from the past, and take necessary precautions that unfortunate events do not take place in the future, if we are able to prevent them from happening.
I know you have a good heart, and that you feel the terrible pain, with the events that have transpired. I offer my sincere condolences, and God bless you. My prayers are with you.
Registered: 1332038966 Posts: 33
Yesterday made it one full week since Katie was killed. The initial intensity of the shock & horror has faded a little, but not a lot. I found out about a local grief support meeting and I'm going to go to that and see how it goes. I know I'd be able to deal with Katie's death better if I hadn't had so much death happening around me lately. Right now, I'm feeling much like I felt right after my grandmothers both died - that kicked in the gut kind of feeling.
I agree with you, Pat, about the animals. I have asked for a formal leave of absence from my humane society director work [which is really tough because they are so strapped for help] and that helps with my overall workload. I want to move the few foster kitties I have right now to some other placements, but there literally isn't anywhere for them to go. I really feel right now like I don't want any more animals, especially any dogs. For me to not want any more animals is a very unusual thing. The two dogs we have, Mojo,12, and Lena, 7, are so loving toward our kitties, and have helped us raised several rescue kitties. But, I don't feel like I can trust any other dogs now. I told my husband that I almost feel like - as much as I hate the idea of dealing with a puppy - that later on, when I am ready, I want to get a puppy, so I can raise it right. We were lulled into a false sense of security with Mojo and Lena, I guess; both of them were 6-8 mos. old when they came to us, and they adapted very quickly to being around the kitties; neither has a strong prey drive, and we were just lucky in that respect. The dog who killed Katie was supposed to be my new forever dog. I'd been searching and searching for a specific type, for nearly two years. We had made up our minds we'd prefer to adopt another house dog before Mojo got too old to enjoy the new dog's company, and we wanted her to be able to help train the new dog. I'm feeling some twinges of sadness about him now, few and far between. I can't look at pictures of him yet. I have to fight to urge to delete them all, but I know that some time in the future I am going to need to grieve for him, that I can't just pretend he never existed here.
Registered: 1327006451 Posts: 103
I am so sorry for your loss of Katie, and your foster pup, and for all your heartache. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
~Hugs~ Buddy's Mom
Registered: 1328793064 Posts: 205
I am so sorry for everything you went through. I could not respond right away because i did not know how to respond. 7 weeks ago my dog killed my other dog. If you read my first post you will read the full story ..At this point I cannot retell it again. My situation is a little different because these were animals that had been with each other and slept together and played together.
I chose not to put the other dog "Liza" down (which i considered) she was a sweet love of a boxer and very good with the kids and our other dog a Jack Russell...she and my Lola just had something that I still can not figure out... and probably wont. I dont know what happened. Liza was raised with Lola.
The scene I came upon and holding my dear baby in my arms for her last breath was glued into my soul. I was having nightmares and the hopelessness i felt and guilt was just too much to handle. I took the advice of a friend and saw a therapist who works in Hypnosis . I have gone three times now. It has helped so much and it works!!!!!! I am not obsessing and replaying everything in my head over and over. I couldn't of functioned another day if i did not get help. What you went through was very very traumatic and is not something you can get over ( unless you are a super hero)
I have even come to the point where I can love "Liza" again the other boxer..which i thought I never could again (again our situations are different)
But there will come a time when you can mourn the dog (name?) that killed your Katie and forgive. You did what you felt was best.
Again I am so sorry you witnessed and went through this. Its hard enough when we lose a pet but when we lose them tragically its beyond words. You will never ever fully get over something like this...but there are tools to help us cope. God Bless and you are in my thoughts. Please be kind to yourself.xo
Carrie "Lola's Mom"
Registered: 1326028362 Posts: 2,537
I am so very sorry for all your pain. What a horrible, tragic experience. I hate what happened to you and Katie. I can not imagine what it was like. I am glad you are going to try out a support group and have asked for a leave from the Humane Society. You are a wonderful person who has given so much to others, animals and people. But, you seriously have to take care of yourself now. You are going through too much. You don't have to think about getting other dogs in life right now. Take things one day at a time. You need to grieve, you need to heal. It's going to take alot of time. Please do not overwhelm yourself more by thinking of too much at once, as far as ever having another dog is concerned. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Registered: 1375291561 Posts: 1
I know that this thread is old, but your story really touched me. I'm so very sorry for your losses. My husband and I are about to get a new dog and we have a cat. I've been worried about something like this happening. Not sure now if I'm going to move forward with the plan. Anyway, I just wanted to add for future reference, that a dog does not have to be put down for animal aggression. Many dogs have a natural prey instinct and they will react to animals just the way your dog did. If you have a dog that has this strong prey instinct, then you can't have another animal around him/her -- it's just as simple as that. Please understand this tragedy is not your fault, because hind sight is always 20/20. If we could all knew the future, think of how many things we would have done differently in life. The key is learning from our mistakes and moving forward.
Registered: 1520552801 Posts: 1
Hey I’m sorry for the loss of your Kate , I lost my baby boy Luke Skywalker who was 19 months old who I’d raised from birth as I have his mother.. yesterday he was killed by my mothers dogs and I too saw every second of it as I awoke to his screams as did my partner and tried our upmost hardest to save him but when We got him off of them he was barely breathing and died in my arms I I’m lost at what to do my m n dad says it’s was a freak accident n yeah in some way it was and I yes it could have happened to anyone of them but still I fell things would have been different if they were my dogs and there cat..the cats and max have lived and know each others presence for years but we only got shadow a yr ago I always tend to the dogs aka feed them walk them brush them etc but I haven’t even looked at the dogs or attended to feed or let them out as i can’t I know you understand the feelings..... I didn’t sleep at all every time I close my eyes I see hem mauling him and him blood curdling cries I’ve told my mum I won’t be feeding the dogs or letting them out for toilet time because I can’t face to look at them i used to love them as max is greyhound cross massive and shadow is siberian husky but now I feel nothing for them but hurt betrayed and hate it was so traumatic for us I think we need to see the drs about ptsd