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ajm39

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Posts: 9
 #1 
My beagle had been acting up for a week or so and when we took him to the vet they thought he might have Lymes and began treating him for that. When the antibiotic didn't help, they ran blood tests and found his kidney was failing. It was hereditary. We thought he had at least a week so we were going to take him for antibiotics and shots to hydrate him for as long as we could. We found some product online that came highly recommended as a kidney miracle product that saved dogs who were having failing kidneys. But last night my mom took him to the vet and they said he wouldn't make it through the night, that he was in a lot of pain and that the best thing to do was put him down, which she did.

My pup was only 8 years old. I feel so much like my time was cut short with him. The night we found out he was having kidney failure (the night before we put him down) I spent sleeping on the floor with him. I could see the pain in his eyes when he looked at me. But he made the effort to turn around each time I moved in my sleep and put his head on my pillow or on my chest.

I just miss him so much. I feel completely paralyzed by this grief.

The one thought that was helping me for a while is that my boyfriend who spent the whole day with him the day before he died told me that he had been going to a place in the yard that day that he doesn't usually go to. He didn't know this, but it was the spot where my dog from my childhood was buried. For a while I haven't believed in heaven, but the thought of it really helps now. I like to think that my old dog was showing him the way. That they're together now.

But still every time I close my eyes and see him my heart just drops into my stomach. I was making myself food today and dropped some on the floor and just started crying because I would never pick that up (I know, I'm a slob) because he would just eat it.

I just feel totally floored. I don't know what to do. It all happened so fast and he was so young.
Mondo

Moderator
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Posts: 985
 #2 
I am so sorry for your loss.  Losing your pup in the prime of his life is even more heartbreaking than some of us who have had our fur kids for a full life (which is still heartbreaking).

What to do?  Grieve.  Talk things out with friends and family.  Come to this forum where you will get support like nowhere else. 

Try to be grateful for the 8 years you had, although it is hard now.  Remember happy times, and maybe think of what lessons your friend taught you.

He wouldn't want you to be sad.  Just like I know my boy up at Rainbow Bridge is telling me to stop with the tears already too. 

Great love causes great grief.  You loved your beagle an awful lot.  Love never dies.


Hugs.
ajm39

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #3 
Thank you. It's just so hard. I try to keep my mind off of it and then all of the sudden my heart sinks. I just want to hug him and it hurts so much knowing I won't be able to ever do that again. And trying to divert my mind from him feels like an insult to his memory. It doesn't help that I'm sick and am up all night and can't leave the house full of memories.
MeAndTheGirlies

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Posts: 497
 #4 
I am very sorry for your loss...yes, it is quite an adjustment , trying to come to terms with their not being around..it's the little things (like dropping food) that remind us...I like the idea of your older dog showing your newer dog the way...I like to think all of mine helped each other across.
What was the name of your pup?

MeAndTheGirlies
Jillbeane

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Posts: 481
 #5 
I am so sorry for your loss of your angel. I know how shocking this all is, as my Bailey was only 7 and within three days, a little over a year now, Bailey got so sick, I had to make that horrible decision to put him down. My life has not been the same since. I know what your mean about dropping food on the floor, this hit me so hard as well, the first time it happened, because Bailey would make a bee line to that food and eat it. A few times I forgot, only to remember, Bailey is no longer here. The loneliness is terrible and our routines have changed so much without their schedules etc. I feel also, I got short changed, Bailey didn't deserve what happened, and I can't understand it. Grief brought me to my knees, I have never cried so much. 

I am retired and Bailey is most likely my last dog, and it is sad. If I was a lot younger, I might consider it again, but I don't know if I could ever go through this again. Bailey was my third dog, and he was so special and brought so much joy on a daily basis. I loved the others too, but Bailey and I had a special bond. Only you will know when it will be time for you to get another pet, please do not do this until you are 110% sure.  Grief is a long journey that can't be rushed.

Sending comfort...Bailey's Mom
ajm39

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #6 
His name was Snoopy. He was not a well-behaved dog at all but I loved him anyway. Like my boyfriend said to me this morning "you know, Snoopy was a bad dog but a great pet."

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[video]https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152004624400473&l=757123167942507304[/video]
lynnl

Registered:
Posts: 29
 #7 
Am crying having read your story as my springer was put to sleep 8 weeks ago, he was only 7 years old too and also my best friend so really understand your loss and feel for you greatly x
EliseT

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Posts: 2,143
 #8 
I am so sorry for your loss of Snoopy. My baby was also in the prime of his life, only seven and I still don't know for sure what caused his kidneys to fail, but believe it was probably due to Lyme disease, or like your pup, a hereditary condition as the vets discovered one of his kidneys had developed in the wrong place. I also ran across a product online that was supposed to help dogs with kidney problems, but I have no idea if it really would have done any good or not.

That is amazing, how your pup started going to your old dog's resting place. My baby passed away on the same day that my first dog (Jemmie) did - she in 2005 and Buds last year on September 15th. My sister told me that Jemmie was calling Buds home - I believe she was right about that.

Wishing you much peace and comfort, during this sad time. I hope one day, you will remember your special times with your baby and feel more happiness than sorrow.

Hugs,

Elise, Buddy's mom

ajm39

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #9 
Thank you all for your kind words and stories about your pups. I can feel so much love.

Tonight I feel a little better. I've been air-petting the spott where my Snoopy used to lay which is a little bit of a weird gesture, but it helps me, so I'll take it.

Goodnight all. :)
ajm39

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #10 
Did you all read the post recently about heaven being a different frequency of our same world? That thought comforts me a lot as I always wake up missing my Snoop.
Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,060
 #11 
I am very sorry for the loss of your beloved Snoopy.  I loved the comment about him being a bad dog but a great pet!!  Snoopy was with the right family and loved to pieces for just being him.  Life doesn't get much better than that.  I hope all the fun times with Snoopy will help in your healing.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Mare-wolf
precious Christoph ~ always in my heart ~
Akshay

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #12 
I lost my raydu....1 June 2018.....
Napalmakita66

Registered:
Posts: 120
 #13 
I lost my Katsu 5/5..a Sunday night. He was only 7. He bloated after eating dinner..i rushed him to the emergency vet and he had a heart attack on the operating table. I was absolutely stunned. I lost my guardian angel and my best friend. My life will never be the sane.
I know how hard it is to lose a pupper so suddenly. It's a real punch in the gut. I had a similar experience just now. I had grilled chicken for dinner and I would always save a few chunks for my boy. He's not here anymore and its very empty.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I'll never be the same but things get a little better..slowly. Take care. Katsu's dad
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