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MollyJean

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Posts: 7
 #1 
This past week has been really rough. My 15 yr old cocker spaniel somehow got off of our locked/gated patio and got out to the pool, where she drowned. She was deaf and blind. We were planning on putting her down in a couple of weeks...I was trying to prepare for saying goodbye to her, but I never in a million years imagined that she would die this way. I am so angry that we didn't put her down a couple weeks ago, then we could have been there with her, holding her. It is hard because we do not understand how on earth she got off of the patio- it was still closed and locked when we returned home, but she was out in the spa. I know it doesn't matter how she died, it matters how she lived, but this still hurts. I feel so bad. I hope she knows how much I love her.

I feel so guilty
I feel so heartbroken
I pray she is with God

Has anyone experienced anything like this? I am such an emotional mess.
klmorris

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Posts: 104
 #2 

Oh I am sooo very sorry!  What a terrible thing to have happened.  Many years ago I had a Husky who drowned in the pool.....but I didn't know it until about a month later.  My husband (x-husband now) found her and buried her and told the rest of the family that she had run away.....I know he meant well and was trying to save everyone the pain....but I spent a lot of time looking for her.  But once I found out what happened it was very hard to deal with.  So I do know how you feel.

 

Just know that she is young and healthy again and playing with all her new friends at the bridge.

 

Take care.

 

Kathy, Sammy's moma

AshtonILove

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Posts: 18
 #3 
No words of comfort can make your pain go away. You came to the right site because we're all in your situation. I will pray for you & your sweet cocker. Forgive yourself , you gave her a wonderful life.

-

http://myashton.pets-memories.com/


LaurieGee

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Posts: 5
 #4 
I,m so sorry. You obviously feel awful, not only that your friend has gone but that they went this way. The thing that struck me when i read your post was this...them going this way has prevented you from having to take them for the final visit to the vet. God removed that decision from you and called them back a different way....you were not meant to make that decision. That does not at all reduce the pain of them passing...Your friend knew you loved them and for reasons we will never know they passed when their time came. I am praying for you and hope your pain eases
MollyJean

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Posts: 7
 #5 
klmorris- thank you. It helps to know other people have experienced this. I'm sorry for the way you found out about your sweet husky. I imagine you were angry and hurt that you spent all that time searching for your baby. You are right though, they are up there playing-I do believe that.

Ashton- thank you for the kind words. I'm glad I found this site, the people have been great and it was just what I needed.

Laurie- I really do have to agree with you. Even though this has been hard, I also know how hard it would have been to have to finally make the decision to call our vet and schedule the dreaded appointment. Until the day of the appointment, it is an awful, miserable, sad countdown. It's torture knowing it's coming. I even told my mom a few weeks ago "I really don't know if I will be able to make myself do that. I love her so much, I just dont know" and within a couple of weeks of me saying that, this happened. So you are right. I think God (as well as my sweet Molly) knew how incredibly hard it would have been for my family to do that, so He made the decision for us. Thank you so much for the prayers, that means a lot to me.
Mare

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Posts: 11,060
 #6 
Your story is very heartbreaking.  I am so sorry your beloved dog has passed on.  I know it's hard to accept that she passed on without you nearby, but I believe that angels are with all of our babies when they journey to their new home.  Our babies are in a safe and lovely place and will wait for us to join them when the Lord calls us home.  I hope you will share a picture or two and some of the special memories you have of your beloved girl.

Mare-wolf
precious Christoph ~ lives on in my heart ~
YorkieHeidi

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Posts: 1,541
 #7 

Please don't feel guilty.  You didn't do anything to hasten your baby's death.  The gate was locked.  She found her way into that water. Rest assured she knew how much you loved her.  She had 15 years to bask in the light of your love.  She was ready to go.   Right now all is well with her.  She is young, she is playing with all of our babies.  She is healthy and most important, God is her babysitter till you pick her up.  She had a great life with you and you with her.  You are missing her because you loved her so.  God Help You Through This Horrible Grief Process.  Come here often, it really helps.  Hugs.  YorkieHeidi

missyoukevin

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Posts: 12
 #8 
I am sooo soo sorry for your loss.  A few weeks ago, my dog dug a hole out of our yard and one of my crazy neighbors shot him.  He didn't make it...  and I've been kicking myself... ya know?  I should have made sure he couldn't get out.  And I didn't get to say goodbye... he died alone in the back of a truck on the way to the vet.  But what you said is absolutely true.  I'm sure she had a very wonderful 15 years of life... and now she is waiting for you at the bridge... along with my Kevin.  <3
MollyJean

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Posts: 7
 #9 
YorkieHeidi- thank you so much for your kind words. I love what you said about our babies playing at the bridge. I know they are, I love to think about how she must love having her sight and hearing back. And coming here has helped a lot ;).

Missyoukevin- I am sorry for your loss as well. It sounds like we both put blame on ourselves, it is hard not to. I also know how you feel about not getting to say goodbye. It has been two weeks today since we found Molly in the pool. I am doing better, but then i wonder if I am tricking myself into thinking that. Grief is a funny thing- definitely a lot of ups and downs. I hope you find a way to heal the loss of your sweet Kevin, and remember you will see him again.
Cricketsmom

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Posts: 2
 #10 
I lost my 15 year old beagle Cricket This morning in our swimming pool.
A devastating experience and I too feel the guilt. I had been putting off for 2 years putting her to sleep but had never felt i had the right. She must have stumbled or lost her balance and fell in. I cam outside to look for her and there she was floating in the pool. I took her out and she was gone. I couldnt believe what had happened. I had been preparing everyone including my two young kids for her departure from out lives but nothing ptepared me for this tragic accident. Maybe she knew how i struggled with making the decision to end her life and how i couldnt bring myself to that place. She took it out of my hands.
Dogs are like living photo albums. Years of memories in a little furry package that create huge voids of sadness when they leave us. We have no other unconditional love like theirs and that is what makes it so hard. Love you, little Crickie. Give my love to Sammy and Molly. Xx
milkieb21

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Posts: 1
 #11 
I have just had the same experience... I can't stop crying my elderly 15 year old Maltese drowned. we were on vacation and I was outside and my 3 dogs were out catching some sun... I went in to get a drink and by the time I got back she was floating. it was the most horrific feeling not being able to save her !!!the guilt is overwhelming!!! I miss her so much and I wish it could have been different!!!
Dogmom4

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Posts: 53
 #12 
The same thing happened to my old dog Bear in January 2016. I cried, living in a fog, for weeks, struggling to go through the motions of my job and regular life. That acute, constant pain has eased, but whenever I think of him it turns me inside out. One of the worst and most traumatic things I've experienced. Even now, it almost doesn't seem real, or possible, that it happened. My deepest sympathies to all who have gone through this.
PunkinMummy

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Posts: 1,038
 #13 
Dear milkieb21,

I am so very sorry for the tragic loss of your good girl. Your grief is so new and raw. So many of us struggle with guilt here and wondering what - if?  Sometimes terrible accidents happen in this world that we can't foresee or prevent no matter how much we truly love our little ones with all our hearts. I can't imagine the shock this has been for you and I ache for how you are feeling. There are no real good words I can say to comfort you other than you are not alone and we are here. Please try to gentle with yourself in these difficult first weeks. Come back often and share more about your good girl and her picture if you can. You have come to a good place where people understand both your love and your terrible grief. I am enclosing a link about guilt I hope helps. Dealing with the Guilt. by Ginger-lyn Summer (occasional repost)

Keeping you in my thoughts in these difficult days with my deepest sympathy,

Colleen

PS. I hope you don't mind if I make a suggestion. Most of the people who posted along this thread are not actively posting now as it is an older thread  and you might get more people with more help than me posting to you if you start a new topic. To start a new topic you go to page 1 of the Grief Support Forum and along the top right hand side of it there are the words "New Topic". You click on that, add your heading to it and then write your post and then click "add reply". Don't forget to tick "subscribe to this topic" so you get notifications of replies. I hope that helps a little.
Fallingslowly

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Posts: 2
 #14 
If any of you are still on here please tell me how you made it through.. My cat drowned tonight .. And I feel as though I am drowning in guilt and anger and sorrow and heartbreak, and grief....
NeekiMom

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #15 
I am so sorry!  The most comfort comes from talking to people who are also hurting horribly due to a loss.  There are a lot of people out there who don't understand that losing a pet is devastating, so the world can appear unfeeling and cold.  Thank God for this site.  Reach out and help others who also feel alone in their pain.  Knowing you are not alone helps.
Dogmom4

Registered:
Posts: 53
 #16 
Hi Fallingslowly, I'm still here. I'm so sorry about your cat. My dog Bear drowned in January. And it's still hard. In fact, my thinking of him is what just prompted me to come back on here. I think the main difference is that I don't think about it 24 hours a day like I did at first. But when I do think about it, it's so painful. More than anything, I ponder whether or not he suffered. That's really all I care about now. I can push through missing him and all that related grief. But I get really hung up on what his experience was because I so desperately wanted to give him a good life. From what I've read, the panic is said to be the worst part of drowning. That gives me some comfort because I'm not sure whether animals would panic in the same way people do. Please keep writing. We're here for you.
liahope

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #17 
My 15 year old puppy passed away this evening. She was blind and stumbled into our pool. My dad found her floating and we tried to revive her but it was no use. I feel so guilty, I yelled at her today to shut up while she was getting under my feet and yapping her head off while I was meal prepping, granted she is deaf and cannot hear just as well as she cannot see. I wish my final words to her were not so mean. I feel as though my family and I should have fenced in our pool when she started going blind, but she has been blind for years now and never had any issue with the pool before tonight. My main fear is that she suffered.... does any one have any concept as to whether or not animals suffer as they drown? I loved my puppy, and I can come to terms with her passing I just feel terrible with the thought of her own pain throughout the lonely process.
KatKat

Registered:
Posts: 167
 #18 
I am sorry for all of you.  Terrible, tragic accidents.  Sometimes there are no answers why things happen, they just do but unfortunately we all feel pain because of it.  My thoughts are with you.  
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