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buckleysmom

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Posts: 1
 #1 
My father-in-law hit my dog while pulling into our yard. He was at my house to burden us as he always does with his projects, ridiculous plans, and often dangerous ideas that never go anywhere but drain everyone else of resources. 

Enough about this person who has caused so much hurt and disappointment for his family. The victim of his irresponsible behavior this time was Buckley. She was my 11 year old, french bulldog. The most incredible dog I've ever experienced. I was her care taker and I failed to protect her. I ache for the physical body, spirit, and heart of her which provided me with more love, comfort, joy and entertainment than anything else every has. The hours I spent with her were a wonderful use of my life. I considered the care of her to one of most important jobs. When she was not ok, I was not ok. I wasn't finished being her mom. I except that i didn't protect her in every way I could have. 

Now this is destroying my family. My husband will never understand how this has effected me. Or how his failure to keep his father away from our home has triggered my PTSD, that I feel so powerless to feel safe, and feel my precious pups are ok. He has always been the parent of his mother and father instead of the other way around. To the point that it has stressed our marriage to the breaking point. Now he is defending himself, his father, everyone else's actions, he is protecting everyone else in the situation. 

I just want to rest easy somewhere safe with my dogs, where I can know that I've made a peaceful home for us. When someone else can't understand the hurt, there's nothing you can do but feel it on your own. 



cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #2 
Dearest Buckley's mom,
I am so sorry for your pain and heart ache. How very terrible to lose your baby this way. I wish I could help ease your pain. I am also sorry you feel so alone during this sadness. I don't know what to say only that we are here on this forum to help. Everyone here has had a loss of a loved one in fur. I lost my heart dog in September and still grieve for him. I didn't lose him as tragically as you but the pain is still deep and it hurt's. I am also sorry that you don't have the support at home that you so much need at this time. Please know that Buckley knew you loved her with all your heart. They know that we love them. Please visit here and post as often as you feel the need. Everyone here understands and will comfort you.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
Parrot_Mom

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Posts: 2
 #3 
Dear Buckley's Mom,
I understand how you feel and ache for your loss. A terrible accident took one of my babies, little sweet Munchkin, away from me several years ago...I too felt...and continue to feel...that I failed to protect him enough. Yet...logic tells me I really did not cause the accident...When I re-run the sudden accident over and over, I see that it was as if pieces just happened to fall into place one by one...strange yet clear in both time and how it came about...that made we wonder if our Companions have a time and place to leave this all too often cruel world, just like religious writings say happens to each of us. I don 't know.
I find myself often crying out of the blue, asking Munchkin for forgiveness...yet knowing in my heart that he surely knew, as I know Buckley knew, and still knows, that we love them with all our being. Maybe this will help...I have been intuitive my entire life...animals have come to me in my dreams after leaving...only to give me messages. They DO have a spirit...a soul... I am sending you a hug...do not punish yourself. I am hard at work trying to do the same....even as I also grieve deeply for my Cuzco.  Hugs...OOO
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