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Ellisdad

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Posts: 3
 #1 
I lost my girl and best friend Elli 10 days ago on Monday October 10th. She was 11 years old.. It was a sudden and shocking event. One moment she was perfectly fine, she has always been in great health with no aging issues at all and the next she was in my arms crying briefly and then she was gone. Like so many here she was the most wonderful thing in my world. A best friend, the best companion and the child I never had. As a part of dealing with the grieving and devastation that I feel I started a notebook a couple of days ago about all the little things I remember about her and in just one morning spending a few moments on this I had already written 14 pages listing single item things about her, the things she did that filled my life with joy. After counting the pages that came to me so quickly I thought for a moment that even through their are many wonderful humans in my life that I love, who among them could I recall and write instantly that many pages of endearing memorable qualities? Its no wonder the feelings of devastation and loss are so intense. Perhaps if I had children it would be a bit different but absent that kind of bond my Elli was my child and I think that's the point and why we keep these special relationships in our hearts forever. There is a connection and a bond with these precious beings unlike any other to be had in our lives. This is a great place to connect with so many wonderful stories about the special relationships so many of you have with your pets. Thanks for sharing your stories. I look forward to being able to express my memories of my Elli here as I feel more able to share those emotions and memories.    For now I would like to share the lyrics to a song I composed for my Elli. I miss you baby girl! You will always be in my heart.

How do you think

How do you think I live without your love

How do you think I live without your love

The moon is setting west today and I can’t see the sun

Just can’t find the words in faith, to help me overcome

Moments of the hardest break, from three that’s missing one

With all these tears I fill the space, of rivers where you’ve gone

Chours

How do you think, How do you think

How do you think, I live without your love

How do you think, I live without your love

Close my eyes and see your face, remember how you run

With trust and all the love you placed in us the lucky ones

A child with more than human traits, who caught me when Id fallen

A special girl I can’t replace the greatest gift I’ve known

Chorus

Sometimes I just call out your name, though I know you can’t come

I listen for the sounds you made in this place that was your home

Inside me is an empty space that’s missing what I’ve known

The little one I couldn’t save, my heart you truly own

Chorus



cdasson

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #2 

Oh my - oh my, I am so sorry!!! I just lost my sweet boy on Monday and I cannot begin to tell you how big the pain is. I wanted to share with you that I do have children, and grandchildren, and cherish my amazing relationships with each one of them, but it does not mitigate  my relationship with my beautiful Martin. Authentic relationships with our animal companions are pure, unaffected by human agenda, and unique. They choose us!!! Our flaws and all they choose us and, if we let them in, their love is one of the most cherished gifts we could receive.  You are one of the blessed ones for receiving and giving that kind of love, as am I, and we will miss our babies forever. We will move into a happier place filled with memories and, hopefully, occasional glimpses of our furry soulmates, but we will hold them in our hearts forever! But for the moment the pain is clouding us over and when it hits in waves of such magnitude that we cannot hold ourselves up we need to understand that we are experiencing this pain because we were so incredibly blessed to experience much greater love! I am with you in this journey!

Ellisdad

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #3 
Thanks cdasson for your words of kindness and wisdom. I am sorry to hear of your loss. What kind of Dog or Cat was Martin? That's a great name by the way. I hope to post some pictures of my departed girl soon. In looking through the photographs we took of her over the years I was pleasantly surprised to learn that we had taken more than 600 photos in all. Its been a real comfort to have so many moments captured in pictures to go back and look at. She was truly involved in every part of my life. My other pet is a Blue and Gold Macaw parrot. He has been with me for 24 years and they have a life expectancy of 75 to 90 years which means God willing I will be long gone before his days are over. If only dogs and cats could be with us for that long. Please stay in touch and share your memories of your Martin when you can.
MegansMum

Registered:
Posts: 72
 #4 
That's a beautiful song. My favourite line is "a special girl I can't replace, the greatest gift I've known" how true.

So sorry for your loss.

Claire xx
judesmom

Registered:
Posts: 1,901
 #5 
your story, loss and song brought tears to my eyes.   what a beautiful and lasting tribute to your best friend elli.   i know you mean as much to her as she did to you.   you two have a special bond that will never be broken as that love will last an eternity.   you are doing very well at expressing yourself and that is so very important to do.    even though it may not feel like it, it does help you to heal.    please come back often and visit this board-the grief board gets the most activity.   and also live chat is helpful as well.    
the monday night candlelight service is beautiful and does help to impart a sense of peace and calm.

whenever you are up to telling us more about your darling we are hear to listen.   and we look forward to seeing pictures as well when you are able to post them.

may peace and joy forever be in your heart as that is what is in your elli's heart.
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