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Mary

Registered:
Posts: 1,400
 #1 
It's 2 weeks ago that my sweetheart Meister had a seizure.  The pain is still with me.  I love him so much.  I thank everyone who send such kind words to me.  We are getting together pictures to post. 

I am very grateful that I retired 2 years ago and had the entire day to spend with him and help him.  It's very hard to be without him.  He was my very best friend.  Seventeen years is a long time to have to love him and I was happy for that.  He would sleep with me and my husband on the bed.  He was so small we had to be very careful with him.  When he lost most of his sight we were afraid he would fall so sometimes he slept next to our bed on his special bed and blanket.  I would check on time from time to time at night.
He would also go out early in the a.m. , come in and wait for his treats, get his drink of water and wait for my husband to finish his cereal and he would have his share.  That was really hard for my husband to remember.

I would carry him out 4 or 5 times a day and watch him carefully in our yard which was fenced in.  I would pick him up and carry back up the stairs and each time I would say to him   "You're mommies boy, you'r a very good boy and kiss his ear.  I told him that he would always know his mommy was there by kissing his ear.  June 5, 2008 The last time I got to kiss him I kissed his ear and I know he knew I was there. 

At night he would sleep in his other bed in the den in between me and my husband.  If I would go out during the day I would give him his treats an tell him I would not be long.

Each time I came home I would first go directly to our room to check on him.  Sometimes he would be standing in the hall or sleeping.  It is so difficult to come in and not see him there. My heart breaks. 

I am sorry if this was too long but I am having a very difficult time now.  I know my life will never be the same without my little Meister.

Thank you for letting me share this with you.

I pay everyday for him and for everyone who has to suffer with this pain.

Mary
kdclairmo

Registered:
Posts: 540
 #2 
Mary, I am so very sorry for your loss of your sweet boy Meister. Your post brought tears to my eyes because I really feel your pain.  Today is my Peanut's one year anniversary of making her way to the bridge and she was 17 too.  We adopted her when she was a sick little dog and had her for almost 12 years and as I look back on those years they seemed to have flown but and wasn't nearly enough time to spend with her. Your Meister sounds like a very loved little guy and I loved all the stories you wrote about him. I especially loved how you kissed his ear so he knew you were there with him. I am sure he always knew you were there even if he had trouble seeing or hearing, he could feel your love right next to him always.  He is still with you and always will be tucked away tightly in your heart and soul. A love like what you shared with him never dies, it lives on just not in the physical sense. Two weeks is still so fresh. I remember those first few weeks without Peanut and our daily routine was the worst. She was a very needy girl at the end and we had to carry her up and down the stairs and outside to pee as her kidneys were beginning to fail, cook and feed her special food and try to trick her into taking her pills.  We were so busy taking care of her that when she passed it was like we didn't know what to do with ourselves.  Again pls know that we are all here for you and we all feel your loss of your sweet boy, just know that he had a wonderful life with you and that he loved you just as much as you loved him. He is now at the Bridge you and healthy again and playing with all our furbabies. I am sure Peanut was one of the first to greet him.

Hang in there.
Karen

mw0263

Registered:
Posts: 139
 #3 
Mary,

You and Meister were so lucky to have everyday for the past two years.  I can feel the love you have for him through your words.  I am sorry that he had to go to the RB.  I know how hard it is to look for them and they are not there.  Sometimes, you forget for a moment and expect to see them and they are not there.  It is worst than heartbreaking.  It's more like your heart being ripped from your chest and someone stomping on it.  The ache is so painful at times.  They say that we will get through this, I waiting and still nothing and it has been 3 weeks and 4 days and nothing, the pain is still as horrible.

Whatever you need to do to grieve please do.  This is a wonderful place and people understand what is going on deep inside.  I pray that you find some comfort today, even if only for a few moments.

Margaret
WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #4 
Dear Mary,

First of all, your post was NOT too long.  You write as much as your heart desires about your precious boy, Meister, and we will read it.  I would love to hear more about him and even see a photo of him at some point, if you can post one.  Since I lost my Betsy, I have continued to post on this website about her occasionally, but also I have really wanted to contribute by offering my support to others.  I do this in memory of my sweet Betsy.

Your words about Meister and his habits brought tears to my eyes.  Especially the stories about you always kissing his ear and the morning cereal routine with your husband.  Those little routines we have with our babies are what usually haunt us the most when we first lose them.  We still want our routine, and our babies are not there anymore.  Oh, the pain that brings.  My husband and I would carry Betsy in our arms and sing to her as she got more demented and she would just gaze into our eyes and totally relax.  My God, do we miss those moments.   BUT, that said, we truly believe in our hearts she is at Rainbow Bridge waiting for us, and her mind is sharp and clear again!   That is the silver lining to the dark cloud of loss.

So, please, feel free to write as much as you want.  We will be here for you.  Please give your husband my condolences, as well.

Hugs,
Melissa
Betsy's forever mom
mollyboltsmom

Registered:
Posts: 991
 #5 
Mary,
Your story of life with Meister is in so many ways like our life with our schnauzer Molly. How I remember not letting her out by herself in the back yard; I was so afraid she would ingest something(even seemingly innocent bird poop) that would send us right back to the vet. For 3 years I took her out every two hours to potty and play. She could climb the steps just fine; I can see the labor of love that it was to carry Meister in and out. Molly slept with us, went everywhere she could with us. My husband had a hard time too because years ago he bought a Lane Snuggler Recliner that was just the right size for him and Moll.
Two weeks is just so new yet. Like Melissa said, your post is not too long. Just look at the length of the replies you're getting. We all have a story to share and want you to share yours too.
In your heart today find that special memory of Meister, the one that stands out from everything else about him. And cherish that memory.
When you can, post a picture(s); we love seeing the beloved Bridge babies. And tell us your stories about Meister. Doing that helps us as well as you.
You and your husband are in my prayers today.
Molly's Mom
Mary

Registered:
Posts: 1,400
 #6 
Hi All:
Thank you so very much to everyone who took the time to talk to me about my Meister.  It means a lot to me.  We will be posting pictures today.

Thank you again and my prayers are with all of you.
Mary
Meisters Mom
Gruntsmomforever

Registered:
Posts: 699
 #7 
Dear Mary,

Your post recalling all the special times of day, and things you did with your baby, Meister, brought many tears to me.  Everything you wrote touched the feelings that I have for my Boxer boy, Grunt, who went to the Bridge in February.  I remember him in so many places, and every time I open a closet or cupboard, I see something of his.  At 2 weeks, I wept continuously - don't cry as often now, but I feel such a deep sadness that he isn't here.

I, too, retired 2 years ago, and was so happy that I could spend more time with my boy.  He also began needing more care at that time, so it worked out well that I could be home with him.  We had our many rituals and a routine, too, that to this day, I still miss very much. 

You can write as much as you want and need to here - we will all read your posts, and keep company with you in your grief.  It really does help to write about our babies and our feelings, for in most cases, people in our Petloss family are the only ones who care enough to listen.

I say a special prayer for your little Meister, who is romping in a beautiful and lovefilled place with the rest of our Beloved Ones.

Hugs,
Katharine, Grunt's Mom Forever

   
basil

Registered:
Posts: 1,205
 #8 
Dear Mary

Many condolences to you and your husband.  It is so hard to lose our babies, there is such a big hole in our lives.  At the moment, that hole is filled with grief and regrets for you, but soon I pray it will be filled with happy memories of your dear boy.  Much Love Di xxx
diane

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 2,719
 #9 
Dear Mary,  I am so sorry for your loss of Meister.  My Miss Dallas was very tiny too.  She died of congestive heart failure over 5 1/2 yrs ago.  She only weighed 3.2 lbs and was 11 1/2 yrs old.  My mother has a 17 yr. old lhasa apso named Mitzi who is getting very feeble and my mother is dreading the day we here at petloss have gone through. 

All of your memories keep tucked away in your heart and you will keep Meister alive there.

Bless you and the spirit of your beloved.

Love,  Diane
rupertsmum

Registered:
Posts: 820
 #10 
Hi
 
Sorry you are having a rough time about Meister,Rupert has been gone 20 weeks and most of my days are hard.  I don't know when it gets easier.  He too, used to sleep on our bed and that is hard not having him there talking to me.  I miss his talking, howling when playing with his toy mouse, nursing him and all the other things.  I miss his soft fur and cuddles and smooches and I know I will die still missing those things but I sometimes have to swirch off so I can get through the day for my kids sake.  The last few months I have been like a bear with a sore head with the kids.
 
Everyone else here is over it, but not me.  We have to find a way to move on.  It is hard when you are at home all day. Ruperts Mum 
JerryC

Registered:
Posts: 1,569
 #11 
So sorry for Meister's loss, but be thankful for the last two years you had. I and we all know about the loneliness. I know that is still the hardest part for me since Peach made her journey, the house seems so empty. Meister was a very lucky boy to have you both. Your post was not too long, we are here for you, you know that, just as you have been here for so many others. Both you and yours are in my prayers along with your Meister.---Jerry in Oklahoma.
 
Georgeann

Registered:
Posts: 2,245
 #12 
Dear Mary:
Thank you for sharing your story about Meister.  Your story is much like mine and Christopher's.  Christopher was sick for a long time as well.  I too carried him everywhere.  Unfortunately I had to work, but I took him to work with me.  He sat on my desk and watched me work all day. I can still see him sitting there wagging his sweet little tail.  I will miss him Forever. These Precious Angels steal our Hearts and take our Souls with them when they leave.  Please come here as often as you want and write as much as you need too; that is how the healing takes place.  We are all here when you need us and we all understand your pain.

Big Hugs
Georgeann and Christopher
Forever
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