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Ark2410

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Posts: 3
 #1 
Yesterday we put our Alfie to sleep. He was a Lhasa apso dog and was 13. He had been in my family since I was 11 we got him as a puppy. He had arthritis in his back legs for a good few years and started to struggle to get up the stairs and his legs would bow so much when he walked. He was our baby but he was never the perfect dog, he had bitten a few people including myself over the years and luckily the others he had bitten hadn’t reported him and we probably wrongly chose to carry on like normal knowing in the back of our heads we should have probably put him down after he’d bitten a few people. We recently decided that it was not safe for him to be around, as he did bite and I now have a 7 month old baby who started to try and touch him but we would never let him near him and it became stressful. I know putting him to sleep yesterday was the right thing, he was pretty old and had so many lumps and bumps, and with the biting we couldn’t risk it anymore. But the thing I feel most guilty about is we didn’t put him to sleep because he had an illness suddenly or got ill, it was just a random decision that the time was now right. He still got excited to go on walks and the thing that is breaking my heart the most is that when we took him to the vet he got excited because he thought he was going for a walk , he had no idea he was going to die. I thought I was ok with the decision because I feel like I have to protect my son now but today I am just riddled with guilt and feel like there is a hole in my heart. I’m hurting so bad and just feel awful. I miss him so much he has been around for half of my life. I’m just going round my mothers house trying to find things that smell of him. I think he could have quite happily lived a little longer and it’s breaking my heart. Before the vet euthanised him I said his legs are really bad arnt they snd he said yeah they are pretty bad, and he said he had the start of glacouma in his eyes. I don’t really know what I expect anyone to say to this post I just feel like I need to vent how I feel. Or some reassurance we didn’t end his life too early, I don’t know :(
jessej1s89

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Posts: 27
 #2 
Hello my friend, reading your post definitely made me sad, because I had to put down my sweet dog Braveheart this past Saturday, March 3rd. He too, was a Lhaso Apso. He was also around 13 to 14 years old. I wasn't sure exactly his age, because I rescued him from a puppy mill, but the vet always said by his teeth that he was an older guy. He developed congestive heart failure and dementia, and he was suffering in mental agony and torture every day. He didn't do the things he loved anymore. 
I just want you to know that it's okay to feel that guilt, but don't beat yourself up about it. Your sweet boy was older, and had arthritis. And I know that death can be a scary and mysterious thing, but just know that he is not truly "dead". He had a living soul here on Earth, the breath of life, and when he was put down, that very soul jetted up to Heaven, and now, now he has a body that doesn't have arthritis 😉 Now he can run like he did when he was young; and he is in the comfort of his creator God, and all the other sweet and loving people and animals up there. I just know that he is looking down on you from Heaven and saying "don't be sad for me! I am rejoicing here!" 😉 He will be waiting for you there. We will be reunited with our furry loved ones again some day; and boy, what a wonderful day that will be! 

Be kind to yourself, and don't beat yourself up, my friend. Know that you are not in this alone. Your boy has only changed addresses 😉 
God bless you and your family, and God bless your sweet Lhasa 😉
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