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samysmom

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Posts: 2
 #1 
Princess was 15 years old, and had crippling arthritis in all 4 legs. 5 days ago, she was not able to stand or put weight on her back legs, in spite of my using the harness to help her. She had 2 pressure point sores and had lost a lot of weight and muscle mass, and was in pain. I had even seen tears in her eyes a few days before so I know she was in pain.  I took her to the vet the morning of 7/30/19. I knew it was time to let her go, and I think she was ready, as she was very calm laying on the table and licked me on the face to let me know she was ok and ready to go.
I couldn't bear to put her thru any more suffering, so made the decision to euthanize. 
Since that day, the feelings have been all over the place: shock, grief, emptiness, guilt, crying, and relief that she doesn't have to suffer any more. The guilt is not so much about the euthanasia because I feel it was time, but that I might have kept her around too long when she was suffering. Her quality of life was diminished for sure for months, and it had become a routine for me to help her up to go outside, and she would even walk a little , but not that morning.  I just hope I didn't make her suffer more than was necessary.
cosesmom

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Posts: 546
 #2 
Oh Samy's mom,
I am so upset that no one replied to your post to offer support and understanding. No one should ever feel alone and left out. I feel your pain and heart ache and share your sorrow. It's so very hard to know when is the best time to let them go. Each day you hope for the best and each day you know in your heart that it's time to let them go but we hold on just a little longer. I know I let Termy suffer some but he was okay until he wouldn't eat or drink and I knew it was time even though 16 plus years was way to short. Your feeling all the emotions that go along with letting a soul mate go. It's okay to feel those just don't let it eat you up. Know in your heart you were a great mom and Samy's hero. You were with her always even when it was hard to watch.
Sending you my love and compassion
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
TazDad

Registered:
Posts: 26
 #3 
Samysmom, I so hope you find peace with Princess' passing. I feel that guilt too about waiting too long. I should have acted two days sooner and called the vet, instead of hoping my Taz could just have one more good day. In Taz' case it just started happening so quickly on a late Saturday afternoon when the timing couldn't have been worst. I had to watch him suffer that night and half the day on Sunday before I could call his vet. Unfortunately, Taz died before the vet could get here and I blame myself for being selfish for MY extra time with him. This message board has some really helpful people here who's lived through this grief too, so please reach out to them for support and read all our stories that are so similar. I know it's helped me not feel so alone...
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