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LovesFrance

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Posts: 3
 #1 
My dog Karma was 14.5 when we helped her cross that bridge on Dec. 21. When I realized it was the first day of her favorite season, I was even more crushed. Luckily, I had time off from work (I own my own business) between Christmas and New Year. I went back to work today and I'm having a really rough time functioning through the grief. 

I feel strong waves of grief crash into me when I least expect it. I have not been sleeping or eating well. I feel incredibly tired--physically and emotionally exhausted--all the time. 

It's only been 12 days and I know the intensity will lessen with time, but the emptiness I feel around all the rituals--eating, walks, treats, getting up in the morning--is pretty intense. 

I know we're all sharing the same sadness, so I'm not asking for any quick remedies. I just needed to be somewhere to share with people who understand. 

Theresa
michelledimarco

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #2 
I'm sorry sorry for your loss. I lost my sweet 11.5 year old Chow mix Chewy on Dec.6th. I still cry every day but like with you, the grief comes in waves. Especially in the morning when she isn't there to greet me. I feel less constant agony I think but I know this will take time for me to get though it. I know I'll never get over it. Hugs to you ❤
LovesFrance

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #3 
Thanks for your kind words, Michelle. 
How are you doing? 
kclaura

Registered:
Posts: 44
 #4 
My heart aches for all of our pain.

We loved and we were loved.

And then - it's gone.

Memories help sustain us 
Gill80

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #5 

It was only Thursday that I had Casey my Dalmatian who was 14 1/2 put to sleep. I had her from a puppy and loved her beyond words. Casey was v old and unstable on her feet, her back legs were very stiff and she struggled to lye down and stand up. There were times when she couldn’t get up and I had to wait for my husband to get home to pick her up from the floor. She was also pooing in the house, sometimes twice a day, she would go in the garden then come in and poo on the floor, it was very difficult aswel I have a young daughter aswel and I knew Casey didn’t want to be doing it. She would also go for a poo in the garden and fall back in it and have it all up her. She also developed a large lump on her side and lost a lot of weight, she still ate though as if she was starving but she was very thin. She Stopped wanting to go for walks a good while ago, I would set off and she would turn round to go home. She would still walk round in the house but it was like she wouldn’t settle, she still really loved me I know this. We often spoke about taking her to the vets but always put it off as it was too painful. Then on weds she did 2 pops in the house and then that night she had the runs in her bed, it was all over her it was heartbreaking. I think we knew then we needed to take her to the vets to see what was best. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, the vet said that it was was definitely time for us to let her go. I stayed with her and screamed crying while I lay with her. It’s destroying me thinking about it and I feel like I made a huge mistake. I’ve spoken to the vet since who said that it was the kindest thing we could of done and no doubt in her mind that it was the right thing. How do I deal with this, I’m finding it so hard and I have a 6yr old daughter to think about. Any help would be so appreciated
Thanks so much
michelledimarco

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #6 
I'm hanging in there. Thank you for asking ❤
Hope you're doing better
LovesFrance

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #7 
Gill80, I know how you feel--you keep running the events over and over in your mind to figure out if you did the right thing, at the right time. I am also haunted by this, but I can tell you a few things that I know, in my heart: I promised Karma I would not let her suffer. I'd rather err on the side of taking that promise a bit too early, than too late. I also didn't want that last trip to the vet to be an emergency situation. I didn't want her to be scared or in a lot of pain. As it was, she was calm and seemed ready. It was hard, though, to see her walk around the room where she was going to die. It seemed wrong that she wasn't lying down, near death. 

I am struggling to keep these thoughts from haunting me. When I picture those moments when she died, I imagine putting the picture of her on the floor, dying, in a balloon. Then I let the string go and let the balloon float away. The image actually helps. 

Please come here and talk to me (my name is Theresa) if you need to. I woke up this morning feeling particularly sad and upset and missing my dog. It comes and goes in waves. You just have to ride each wave and let it pass through you. I think that journey is easier with people who know and understand how you feel. 


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