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ishtamybaby

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Posts: 8
 #1 

I feel so sad, I can't stand it.  Started out not wanting to eat much about three weeks ago.  Tried a different food ate it and seemed O.K.  Went out of town for the weekend came home to a different dog. She was depressed, vomiting and just in bad shape.  Took her to the vet Monday morning her blood pressure was so low he could hardly get blood.  I had gotten a urine sample and it had what looked like pus in it.  No temp, normal white blood count, but her calcium was 14.2 which is very high.  Did x-rays nothing, ultrasound showed thickening of intestines and stomach and inflammation.  Biopsy inclusive.  Stayed at vet on antibiotics and fluids.  She started eating K/D food on her own wed. night. Improved!  By Friday her blood work was back to normal levels just a slight elevation in her white blood cell count she was pulling on the leash ready to get out of there!  My Ishy was back! Gave her medication, Prednasone and an antibiotics she ate Friday night and Saturday morning then tried to chase a squirrel, I didn't let her go crazy she stayed in her bed or on the couch.  Sat. night didn't eat so good.  Sunday morning was vomiting again and then when she tried to drink water it just came right back up as soon as she walked away.  By Sunday evening  she was back to the way she was when I took her to the vet on Monday.  Off to the emergency clinic with my five year old daughter at 9:00pm.  He asked about her heart murmur which we never knew she had.  She was such a trooper, I would have to leave her in the room to take my daughter to the bathroom and when I would come back in she would wag her tail and look at me as if nothing was wrong.  More blood work.  Everything was starting to elevate again and then it came down to putting her back on the intravenous stuff,more ultrasounds, opening her up for exploratory surgery to try to find out what was wrong and all she did was put her head in my lap and trust me to make the right decision.  I wanted something telling me that she couldn't be fixed, a paper saying she has a sickness that can't be cured, but I didn't have that.  I had a five year old asking me if she can go home and our dog enduring I didn't know what and no more money.  My friend was willing to put it on her credit card and at first I agreed to try to see what they could do.  Then I looked at my best friend who had been with me through abusive relationships, my pregnancy, loss of my other two dogs and I couldn't put her through that.  I just wanted her to rest. in comfort.  I had to let her go and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I told my daughter that Ishy was too sick to come home and that God would be taking care of her and she asked if God could fix her in Heaven and send her back.  I wished with all my heart that was how it worked.  She gave her a hug, scratched her in her favorite spot under her chin and said we will see you in heaven. She went with the desk girl and then it was my turn. Looking into those almond eyes and saying I was sorry for every wrong thing I might have thought I had done I saw nothing but loyalty and love.  My Ishy went quietly while I scratched her favorite spot, under her chin and told her how sorry I was and how much I loved her. I know she is in a better place waiting for us with Thistle, but the pain I feel in my heart is so bad.  I hold her toys and cry. She is so missed! 

Deb1

Registered:
Posts: 23
 #2 
Your post touched me so much!

I am new here too.  I know, it is so painful. I think back on all of the things my "best friend" has seen me through and the loss is so great.  So many changes in 13 years, and he was always my faithful friend throughout it all.  Those are the things I will remember.  If only I could have done 1/4 as much for him as he did for me. 

I hope you find peace.

Deborah


dianae2002

Registered:
Posts: 317
 #3 

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Ishy. She was so loved by you and your daughter. I wish I could tell you something that would take away the pain... it hurts so much... just think that Ishy is now healthy again... remember that she will always be in your heart.
 
Diana, Jessie and Neko's mom.
JerryC

Registered:
Posts: 1,569
 #4 
I am new here also. Tomorrow will be one week since I had to take our Chihuahua to the vet. She came into our home and hearts nine years ago this month. She had been my wife's parents companion for seven years. Both parents became ill and I had promised we would love and care for Peaches if something were to happen to them. Unfortunately they both passed on within thirty days of each other nine years ago. Peach was a joy and became the proverbial lap dog, mine. Over the last few weeks it was apparent that she was starting to have difficulties, old age was setting in. It was becoming harder for her to stand and walk although she did her best. I knew she was in pain and her breathing was becoming more and more harder. I placed her in her small bed and took the long drive to the vet. I was with her and and stroked her and told her how much I loved her and what a good dog she was. I brought her back home and laid her to rest in one of her favorite spots between two shade trees. On the way home from the vet I looked at her in her bed and it seemed like she was six years old again almost like if I called her name she would wake up. I did but she didn't move. This has been the hardest experience of my life and this web site has been a great help, my heart goes out to all of you. But in looking back to last week and our final ride ride home and when I looked at Peach she seemed so peaceful and I know now as I did then she is finally at peace. The house is empty now, I work evenings and my wife works days and Peach and I had our routines. I always said good bye to her and "See you later" when I left for work. I and we all will see each other later at the bridge, until that time Peaches is forever in my heart. May God Bless each and everyone of you and help you in your time of suffering and grief. You know something, he already blessed each and everyone one of "our" companions, friends and soul mates by bringing them into our lives and hearts knowing that we were that special someone that would give them all the love they needed. We need to be thankful, as difficult as it may seem at times, for that. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.  Jerry in Oklahoma.

ishtamybaby

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #5 

Thank  you all for your words of support.  It is helping me work through this.  I know how you feel Jerry because this morning when my daughter and I passed through the room where I groom dogs, Ishta's crate was empty and she said I wish Ishy was back.  She was always at the side of the bed when my alarm went off at 4:30 and if i forgot to set it she would wake me up.  The house does seem so empty.  She was my last dog of three so this time I don't have the comfort of the others.  It is so different this time.  I try to comfort myself that she is waiting for me at the rainbow bridge, chasing every squirrel she sees.

Gruntsmomforever

Registered:
Posts: 699
 #6 
I am so sorry you lost your Beloved Ishy. She is not hurting anymore, and that is a comfort.  I cried as I read your post as it reminded me so much of my last days with my Boxer Boy, Grunt, who was put to sleep in February.  I still hold his toys and cry. 

You will see her again, and she will be waiting for you, tail wagging.

Hugs,
Katharine, Grunt's Mom Forever


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