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Posts: 1

i hope you are all doing well. i'm new here and just found this page after looking for some ways to cope with the pain after losing a pet...i'm glad something like this exists. i'm posting this to hopefully deal a little with the grief, and honestly to talk about my dog...she deserves it.

Layla was a black labrador girl and the best companion i could have imagined. we got her 10 years ago, when i was 7. when my parents found her in the newspaper, she was for sale for really little money. and it had a reason - her condition. her previous owners had treated her very badly and obviously didn't care about her at all. she was 1 year old at this time, very thin (you could see her ribs), had fleas, worms and everything and was extremely anxious of people, of animals...of everything. she wasn't even housebroken. we don't know for sure, but she most likely was raised in kennels. we got her home, she didn't walk up the stairs - she was almost crawling, tail between her legs, shaking. she got special food from the vet and started to gain weight after some time. we treated all her parasites, got her dewormed and everything. it took a lot of time, but Layla became less and less anxious, became comfortable around me and my parents. Layla started to get better, be the great dog she was meant to be, not sick or anxious. my girl was a family member and as an only child, i can't deny that i've seen her somewhat as a little...very hairy sister, haha. Layla was so great, and she was so strong for recovering from all that she had been through when she was young. she became joyful, wagging her tail a lot - she became a happy dog, and she deserved it. she deserved everything good.

my parents got divorced a few years ago, so for the past years, it just had been my mother, me and Layla. and a few months back, Layla started getting sick. i am honestly not quite sure what her diagnosis was, but i think she had tumors. she started getting weaker. she still was excited when she got food, or me or my mother got home, but she just couldn't walk a lot anymore, she had trouble standing up on our parquet floor, her metabolism got weaker as well...and i guess all of us knew she wouldn't make it until 2018. and sadly, she didn't.

yesterday, 12/12/17 in the morning, my mother woke me up, because Layla's condition got really bad. she was throwing up and couldn't stop, and she already had a little trouble breathing over the past days. i was really worried, but i honestly tried to push away the thought that...this could be the last day i would see her. my mom called the vet, because as much as it hurt us both, Layla felt terrible, and we had to put her out of her misery. my mother hung up the phone and suddenly called me. Layla had stopped breathing while my mom was on the phone. and i honestly don't know what i felt after that. i was so shocked. she didn't move, she didn't breathe....she way laying there, as if she were asleep but she wasn't. my poor, poor baby had passed away...i stayed home from school. my mom called the vet again, told her there was no need to come anymore....two people from the animal undertaker (i'm not sure if this is the word, english isn't my mother language) came, took Layla...a few hours later, my mom packed all of Layla's stuff and gave it to an animal rights activist who had come to pick it up (my mom didn't want to keep any things of Layla, because it she said it hurt her to see it). i only kept Layla's socks we bought her (yes, socks - because she was always slipping on our parquet floor after she got weaker, they made it easier for her to stand up).

she died at the age of 11. i really, really miss her. Layla was a great dog - she was cuddly, she was very nice and sweet. and she was so strong, she pulled through her childhood with those bad owners, she got better and i hope we could provide her a happy life. she deserved all the happiness in the world. she was the first dog i had and as i said, she was a best friend, a family member. i could always pet her and cuddle her when i felt bad, and just having her around would comfort me. i grew up with her, and i will never, ever forget her. when i came home from school today, no one came to the door and greeted me...when i make food in the kitchen now, nobody comes running anymore, in the hope of getting a snack too. it just feels very lonely and empty in our house now. a dog's presence can be so much. and now that she is away, i feel very lonely. i really, really hope my sweet girl knew that i loved her so much - and that i always will. dogs are great, and for me, Layla was the greatest and most loyal and sweetest dog in the whole world. i hope she's good, wherever she is now.

well, that was a lot of rambling...i hope this post isn't too long. i think Layla's story deserves a place somewhere, and i hope i can cope with her loss soon, but right now i feel just very sweet little baby girl. i love her so much.

and if anyone would have coping tips, i would honestly welcome them. but i think it felt good to just let this out and tell people about what sweet dog Layla was and that she will always have a place in my heart.


Posts: 580
I am so sorry to hear of Layla's passing. It sounds as you had a wonderful relationship. You really loved her and she surely loved you, I can tell. I wish there were words I could say to you to help ease your pain but sadly there isn't any. I come here every night to read the posts and feel a connection to others who are suffering the same pain as I am after losing our Fur Babies. I know you wanted to ease her suffering by having a vet come to the house but it sounds as if Layla had other thoughts. She died at home surrounded by the ones who loved her. I can't give you any advice on how to cope with your lose except to say, cry when you feel like it and talk to Layla because she still hears you. Rainbow Bridge is where she is now, free of pain and happy. This is where she will wait for you when the day comes for you to be together. I am so happy to know that you saved her and gave her a beautiful life. Hold her and the memories you made in your heart. Someday you will be able to look back and smile when you think of Her. I can now go through some days without crying and it's been almost three months since I lost Termy.
Sending you love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom

Posts: 5
I'm so sorry. You're not alone. I grew up with mine for 13 years (had him since I was 9), it's been about 3 weeks for me. I miss him everyday, like you, he was with me through so many hard times and was my best friend. It sounds like yous declined rapidly like mine. He was fine one day and dying the next.
Honestly, the first couple of weeks I felt like I'd lost my whole world, my reason for being. I wasn't interested in anything, not even eating. Mostly all I did was cry. I knew he was gone but I couldn t get my head around it. I don't know what's happened since then. I've cried harder than ever in my life, been on lots of support groups, talked about him with family all the time. I really believe the support groups have helped, there are some good ones on Facebook too. Hearing everyone's stories and their special bonds with their pets, I felt less alone. I saw people who loved theirs just as much as I had and do love mine and they survived. It's still early days for me, grief lasts forever. I guess it comes in waves, you can be getting by for a while and then it's like it all hits you again. I think it will always feel surreal. Even silly things like not being able to give him leftover cheese. I feel rather lost without him but I'm trying.
Allow yourself to grieve, whatever that means to you. Be kind to yourself. Everyone feels regret or guilt over things, but never forget how much you loved her. I imagine she had a great life with you, and she obviously gave you so much too. It's a really special relationship and we'll always remember that.
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