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Smartcar24

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Posts: 7
 #1 
I have had to have my dog put to sleep today and we are devastated. She was in a lot of pain due to a cancerous tumour in her shoulder. She had a major operation only 3 weeago to remove it, but it came back 2 weeks later and very aggressive. We feel guilty that we haven't explored every avenue of cure, but realise there was no cure.
We couldn't bare seeing her in pain and suffering ,unable to walk.
jmdaffodil

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Posts: 10
 #2 
I’m truly sorry for your loss. I know the feelings you have and doubts, guilt, etc. It’s never easy. I’m sure you did your best. Lost my dog too on March 18th. Not sure I’ll ever be the same. Have cried everyday since. Prayers for you.
Smartcar24

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Posts: 7
 #3 
Thankyou for your reply, I am so sorry that you lost your dog. It is a hard time coming to terms with it, but with time I am sure that I will accept that I couldn't do any more than I did. I couldn't see her suffering in pain anymore. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
cosesmom

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Posts: 465
 #4 
I would like to express my deepest sympathy to you for your loss. It's never easy. No matter if old age claims them, as it did with my heart dog Termy or some dreadful disease. It tears your heart out and the pain is unbearable. It's been over 18 months since I let Termy go to the bridge and I still mourn my loss. I cry still but not as much. You did the right thing, truly you did. You would never have wanted your baby to pass on her own. I'm sure it wouldn't have been easy. Letting her go with love as you did is the kindest and most loving thing you could have done. You may feel you should have done more or what if I would have done this or that. In the end of your girls life you gave her dignity and released her from pain. I know it'll be hard for a while but be gentle with your self and grieve. It's all about the journey, the good and the bad. One day you can look back and feel it in your heart you were her Hero. Close you eyes and feel her still around you, loving you and still guiding you.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
jmdaffodil

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Posts: 10
 #5 
One day at a time smartcar. Sometimes one minute at a time. I’m glad you are on here. This site/board really saved me and genuinely helps in my healing. It doesn’t bring our beloved pets back but I found it to bring a little comfort during an awful time with folks that “get it.” I hope it has helped you too. Be kind to yourself, take it easy and breath.
Smartcar24

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Posts: 7
 #6 
Thankyou so much cosesmom for your love and compassion
I am so pleased that you have found the time to reply to me. I need to be talking to people that know exactly how I feel. It is very comforting to know that I can reply on your honesty and love.
Smartcar24

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #7 
Thankyou for your wonderful words of comfort jmdaffodil. I am clutching at any words of positivity. Your replies give me hope and some strength which I need in abundance right now.
Miasmomma

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Posts: 11
 #8 
You aren’t alone. I had to say goodbye to my furry soul mate, my beautiful girl, just a few days ago and it’s eating me alive. The guilt, the regret, the “what ifs”. The mind plays tricks on you and it’s a horrible, horrible thing to have to endure. You dwell on all of the things you could have done, should have done and question over and over if you made the right choice. You start to wonder if you made too hasty a decision and if you did everything in your power to give them the best, longest life possible. I’m personally struggling a great deal with wondering if she knew what was happening as she was being euthanized... if she wondered why we were doing this to her.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in blame and guilt. It’s easy to focus on the negative and kick yourself for every time you had to say “no” to more cuddling, or had to scold them for something done wrong. It’s a normal human reaction to this kind of loss and when it comes to our beloved fur babies, who else would we blame other than ourselves? We forget about everything we did right.. all the years of love and security we provided for them. The care we put into them to make their life as good as it could have been.

Right now, it’s hard for me to remember all the good. I’m too busy blaming myself for so many things. I can’t look at her picture without feeling sick or like I can’t breathe. But I pray that it changes. Because I want to be able to look at her and remember the years of fun we had together and all the amazing love and kindness and she provided to me. That’s what deserves to be remembered and celebrated.
Smartcar24

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #9 
Miasmomma.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is a very sad and difficult time for you and myself.
Those beautiful and honest words give me great comfort. It is all so true what you have written, it is very very easy to blame ourselves and question our motives.
We do need to realise that we did what we did because we love our pets. I couldn't see my little dog in pain,suffering, unable to walk, and having difficulty breathing.
I helped her get to a better place, where there is no pain and suffering. As difficult and heartbreaking as it was to make that decision, I believe that she trusted us to do what was best for her.I am sure she didn't want to be in pain anymore with a cancerous tumour that was visibly growing daily. Please do not blame yourself, I am sure you gave your little friend a fantastic life, full of love and happiness.
Be good to yourself and try to remember how much love and care you gave to your little friend. In time you will hopefully congratulate yourself on what a fantastic job you did making your little friends life so special.
Miasmomma

Registered:
Posts: 11
 #10 
Thank you. I miss her so much. Every time it feels like things might be getting better, it all comes crashing down on me again. The house doesn’t feel like a home without her. It’s hard to feel like I’ve done the right thing when it hurts THIS much. I can’t believe that I’ll never see her beautiful face again, kiss the top of her head, feel or smell her fur. She always smelled like comfort to me.

This is so hard. :(
Smartcar24

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #11 
Bless you. Its all very raw for you and myself. The pain and the sorrow are very difficult to face up to. I seem to take one step forward and three steps back, but I am trying to come to terms with it one day at a time. I need to try and keep positive, and realise that what happened wasn't anyone's fault. Remember there are hundreds of people going through the same thing as us. We need to keep talking to like minded people and share your pain. I will always be looking out on this forum for any positivity from any posts. You are not alone. Keep strong and dont ever hesitate in posting anything to me.
Miasmomma

Registered:
Posts: 11
 #12 
Thank you. I feel for you as well. The pain in incredible. I’ve loet enough people in my life that I thought that I was prepared. I wasn’t. I had no idea how much it would hurt... how much it would consume me. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I don’t want to leave the house but it also hurts to be here without her.

My beautiful girl became disabled 3 years ago after an injury. I took care of her every need. I carried her out to pee, fed her and gave her water in her recliner, threw her toys over and over as she loved to play. It seemed like little things were changing and she wasn’t as happy as she used to be. So I made the difficult choice. I wanted her to leave this world still happy. And now I feel like I made the wrong choice. She was my furry soul mate. My “little love”. I can’t bear being without her. She helped me through so much and now she’s not here to help me through the day pray thing ever.

I just want to see her again. :(
Smartcar24

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #13 
I feel every bit of pain that you are feeling. Please don't be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you gave her a fantastic life, with all the love and care you were giving her, you've been an absolute angel. I try and tell myself that although my little dog isn't with me physically, she is with me emotionally and all the fantastic memories I have of her when she wasn't ill will help me keep positive. She is in a better place now, pain free, and looking down on me guiding me with the love that she always showed. Please try and keep positive,remember, everything you did for her was because you loved her.
Miasmomma

Registered:
Posts: 11
 #14 
I’m trying. But I feel like I lost her twice: once three years ago when she got injured and then again on Saturday when we let her go. I so badly wanted to make the best decision for her. I chose to take the little signs into account and let her leave this world before anything else went wrong. But I feel horribly guilty. I will never, ever know if it was truly the right time. I feel guilty for every time I didn’t snuggle her or play with her when I could have. I feel guilty for every time I told her to stop whining or barking for attention. Caring for her was a physically demanding job. She was 50lbs and I/we carried her everywhere and outside multiple times a day to pee. So sometimes, I just didn’t have the energy to pick her up and snuggle her or play with her after work. And now, I feel horrible. Right now, I feel as though I will NEVER get over this. It hurts beyond words. :(
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