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Jeff

Registered:
Posts: 37
 #1 

I remember taking Nikki to the vet when we first got him.Our vet told us he would only live 1-3 years and that he wasn't very healthy.He had soft spots on his brain that made him prone to have seizures so we took him back to the breedder and told her.She said that she was going to have to put him down but then she ask us to adopt him.I didn't have to think very long to say sure we will take him because 1-3 years of live is better than none.The first 2 years were tough.He had a seizure every 3 to 4 months until he turned two.On Monday April 12th after I came home from work I walked into the living room to see my little buddy on the ground having a seizure half his body was paralized and the other half was strugling to find his balence.I knew right away that this time was different.I held him in my arms but the seizures keep coming it wasn't like before when he had 1 and then it would be over.This time he would fight 1 attack off but then another 1 would hit and the look look on his face said it all that it took every thing he had to survive this night.He had somewhere between 6 to 12 seizures this night.I stayed up with him until 3 in the morning until I knew he was going to make it.On sunday april 18th I got up like every other morning and when he started to bark I didn't tell him to stop and for some reason I enjoyed the sound.I was working a 2pm to 10:30 shift and when I was at work he had even worse seizures than Monday the 12th and passed away.Nikki was a toy Poodle he was 3 and a half pounds when we got him in the summer of 2000 and weight 7 pounds when he passed on sunday the 18th 2010.I am soo pround of him to live that long when his first vet visit was so bleak.Right now I miss how he used to lay on my lap.My wife used to say that his world evolves around me.He used to just lay by himself untill I got home from work and he would come alive.Now I just feel empty inside like their is something missing and I know that something is Nikki.My nikename for him was Little Red because off his size and red hair.I miss you Nikki and hope you are in Heaven.

Mayme

Registered:
Posts: 1,523
 #2 
Dear Jeff,

I am so sorry for the loss of your Precious Nikki. First, I want to promise you that Your Little Red is in Heaven. That wonderful, precious little soul is sitting right in the lap of Jesus as we speak. What loving souls you and your wife are. You gave love to a little guy that was not going to ever get the chance to know what Love is. God bless you two for that. I just can't express into words how much that means to Our Father. There is something missing Jeff... it's Nikki. But his love remains with you and your love remains with him. And the wonderful part is,,, it continues to grow each and every day. God bless you, your wife and Precious Little Red.

Love, Mayme ~ Sammy's Mommy

LoriDR

Registered:
Posts: 2,123
 #3 
Jeff,

My heart breaks for you in the loss of Nikki. You took such good care of him. He got to live a long time feeling your love, and it goes on with him in heaven.

We here know what the "something missing" feels like. We understand that it is indescribably painful. Yet, even without accurate description of that pain, all of us know it well.

Take care of yourself as you grieve your Little Red. It is obvious you still love him very much, and because you still feel that love, it means he still exists, but on a greater plane of existence now. He understands you must grieve for him, but he also hopes for you to be happy again one day.

Hugs of comfort,
Lori

Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #4 
I am very sorry your lovely baby, Nikki, has passed on.  He had quite a difficult and challenging life and you loved him so much.  He is now a very healthy pup at the bridge and is making many new friends.  I know the early days of loss are miserable...you can't quit thinking about your baby and you miss them so much you can't stand it.  In time, you will feel better.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Mare
precious Christoph ~ 21 months at the bridge ~

Jeff

Registered:
Posts: 37
 #5 

Thank You (Mayme,LoriDR and Mare) for your kind words.I miss Nikki but I'm so glad to be a part of his life.

Murphy22

Registered:
Posts: 1,982
 #6 
Jeff,
And it was such a precious life. He loves you so much for giving him that and flew home in the arms of the angels knowing he was loved with all your heart.
Take Care,


Pethaven

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #7 
To my loving caring husband and great dad of our 4 kids left, Jeff:

After I read your posting regarding our little Red, Nikki, I couldn't help but cried.  I share and support your pains of losing Nikki; however, since you are most of the time quiet and introvert, I did not realize of your emptiness that you have been feeling since we lost our little precious kid, Nikki, I am so sorry. 

You have been nothing but a wonderful loving dad to Nikki, and also our other 4 remaining kids.  And that is the reason why Nikki lived as long as he did.

I just hope and pray that as we share the good times we had with Nikki that our grief will be healed somewhat in the future.

Even though we have four other kids, but any loss is a huge loss, and it's ok to grieve for the loss of one and enjoy the great moments with the four surviving kids.

No matter what Father Khanh said that pets have no soul, I don't believe him a bit, because I know that Nikki is now in heaven and waiting for all of us to join him one day.

You are such a wonderfu, loving, caring and sensitive husband & dad, and I love you so much!

May God bless you and heal you painful heart!

Love always,

Lynn
Cecis_Mom

Registered:
Posts: 1,191
 #8 
Dearest Jeff,

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Nikki.

Please see my message to your wife as well.

God Bless You,

Ceci's Mom (Robin) and Mama to Lil' Red, my precious boy

Jeff

Registered:
Posts: 37
 #9 

Thank You Murphy 22,Cecis Mom and to my wife Lynn for all the great support and kindness.It means alot to me.Thanks again.

leonor

Registered:
Posts: 214
 #10 
Dear Jeff,

I'm very sorry that you lost your Little Red... I imagine how you felt that day and have a pretty good idea of how you're feeling right now. It hurts so much when we love them that way and they love you right back...
I'm sending you a hug. *
Jeff

Registered:
Posts: 37
 #11 

Thank You Leoner.Nikki will always have a place in my heart because of him not being born healthy.Even though my wife and I have 4 other kids(2 dogs and 2 cats).I spoiled Nikki and gave him more attention because thats what I thought he needed to help him live as long as possible.

Jeff

Registered:
Posts: 37
 #12 

I would like to thank everyone for your kind words,prayers and hugs.It means alot to me and it has helped me in the griefing process.I in turn have tried to reply to more posts and try to repay the favor.I hope I have helped others like you have helped me. Nikki Born July 18th 2000 and died April 18th 2010.

cbsmom

Registered:
Posts: 19
 #13 
Jeff,

When I read your post, my first thought was of what courage and love it took to adopt Nikki knowing of her health condition, and especially knowing it was possible she would only live 2 or 3 years. You didn't close off your heart from her, and she responded with such love and affection.

I hope you and your family find peace and acceptance. What a special dog to have come into your life, and to have shared so much of it with you.

Mary
Cheeseburger the beagles mom
Jeff

Registered:
Posts: 37
 #14 

Thank You cbsmom but it was Nikki who showed me what courage is all about.I don't have a digital camara but i did buy a negative scanner so i can soon share a picture of Nikki with everybody.

housecats4

Registered:
Posts: 648
 #15 

What a beautiful person you are to give this baby such love .I am so very sorry for your loss and that sweet baby Nikki.  Just know she is watching you and will be forever your little love.  Your sweet Angel and will be waiting for you They don`t miss us because there is no time there.... there is just Now. Don`t ask me how I know I just do  I think Mick as told me this cause I cried so hard and long for him. They are happy and at peace... we carry the pain of our loss forever. Just pass that love on to another is all that will help heal our heart. Bless you ,your wife and your beautiful babies ♥♥♥

Jeff

Registered:
Posts: 37
 #16 

Thank You housecats4 for your kind words of support.Nikki was a special needs kid that needed alot of sheltering.When he went outside he had a hard time reconizing danger from cars or other animals.He also treated his brothers(2 dogs)and sisters(2 cats) the same as equals. I took this picture of Nikki and his sister Isha in 2003.Since then Isha has gained 15 pound and all her white markings have turned Black/Brown but everytime I look at the picture it puts a smile on my face.sorry about the  eyes they look kinda scary.

Jeff

Registered:
Posts: 37
 #17 

I still miss you Nikki.Since you left me my job and life are falling apart so much soo that now i pray to join you soon.All i feel is emptyness and pain or sorrow.I hope to see you soon.

Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #18 
Dear Jeff,

I am sorry that your life is such a struggle for you.  Are you in danger of losing your job?  There is a lot of stress in the world right now and it's hard to find that ray of hope sometimes. Do you have a close friend you can share your feelings with?  Someone from church maybe?  I will keep you in my prayers, Jeff. 

Mare

Ghatten

Registered:
Posts: 1,821
 #19 
}{{{{{Jeff & Lynn}}}}}{

there is something about special needs babies - and it seems when they find that right someone they do their best to prove the world wrong. Our Littlebit was a special needs baby also - and not supposed to live to be 1 - when we lost her 8-4-2010 she was 14 1/2. And loosing any sweet baby hurts, but with special needs babies so much of our daily routine involves their care - so we suddenly have a lot more free time to realize they are not there and will not be again. It does get easier - and the pain lessens, i won't say goes it away, i still miss Friskie who i lost in 1980, but with time and healing we can remember those wonderful times more and smile at them and the love we share.  Nikki is not gone - he is in heaven, yes - but he also is with you still, only his form has changed. Now he wears a form you cannot see and is gloriously healthy watching over 2 people he feels are the most special people in the world.

ghattenwolf
Kellie

Registered:
Posts: 347
 #20 

I'm sorry to hear that you are at such a low point in your life, but it will get better. I know how much the loss of a pet hurts, and then add on all of the other worries in life, and it seems overwhelming. But you will get through this, Nikki is never far from you. Find comfort in the fact that you have given her a wonderful life when not many others would have done that. The love you and your wife share with her will continue to grow. Please don't hesitate to get help if you are having a hard time. I will pray for peace and comfort for your hurting heart. Please take care.

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