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Posts: 6
Hi All, my wonderful secretary came across this site and sent me the url. It was just what I needed to share feelings of others who have gone through, or are going through what I am.
A.T. was my furperson and spoiled her rotten. Seriously.
I didn't get her until I was 44 (first pet) and have just turned 60, so she was with me for 16 years.
Two weeks ago she went outside and has been gone since. I truly believe she went off to die and I am starting to come to terms with the loss.
I found that letting myself go through the grieving process helps. Don't fight it. There are five stages and while I would have liked them to go in order, they didn't. They were intermingled and were strong and weak at different times.
I'm at starting to do some "firsts" since AT has left and that is not easy.
Even though I don't know any of you, thank you for your posts as reading them has really helped.


Posts: 564
Garyl, I'm sorry for your loss!  To have your precious baby with you for that long, and with the love you obviously have for her, the pain must be very deep.  Those of us who have loved our precious pets so much for so long also tend to have the most deep grief.....comes with the territory!!

Rest assured that your pet loves you dearly, and something as simple as physical death will never be able to sever the bond of love between you.  She will live on forever in your heart until the two of you can be reunited at the Rainbow Bridge!

Two weeks is still so very soon after your loss....I lost my two Siberian Huskies, Luke and Lil, who were 13 and 12 years old in July, three weeks apart from one another, and I was a total basket-case for a long time!  Understand that you will be on an emotional roller-coaster for some time, and that the stages of grief don't necessarily follow any specific order or time-frame.  Allow yourself to feel and express your pain, however and whenever it shows up...especially where you feel safe and supported in doing so.

This forum is one of those places.  As a 56 year old man, it was very difficult for me to find that safe place, other than with my wife.  This site has been such a God-send, and the people here wonderful and comforting.  I suggest you keep coming back and let them help and support you as they have done for me.  I can tell you that it's been almost 4 months since I lost Luke and a bit over 3 months for Lil......and I still find myself crying over the losses.  We will always feel the pain of our losses....but time and support will help that to become much more manageable.  God Bless!  Rick

Posts: 2,719
Dear Gary,  I am so very sorry for your loss of A.T.  It is always so hard when we don't know what happened.  I lost a cat about 4 years ago, just disappeared, and I have wondered ever since what happened to him.  I pray you get some form of closure.  There are stages to grief and it sounds like you are having them.

Come here often for support and comfort.  We all know what you are going through.

Bless you and your baby. 

Love,  Diane, Mom of Miss Dallas at the bridge 8 years

Posts: 11,059
Dear Gary,

I am so sorry your cat, A.T., is missing.  You were blessed with many years with her and I know it is difficult not knowing for sure what has happened to her.  We all know how important our pets are to our lives, but it is a whole different world when they are gone.  In my early days of loss I was totally devastated.  I didn't think I would be able to live without  my little bunny.  Coming to this site really helped in my recovery.  I hope you will find the same comfort.

precious Christoph ~ 2 years now ~


Posts: 2,123
Gary, My heart goes out to you in the loss of your precious A.T. You have come to the right place. As Rick said, it is safe for you to express yourself here.

You're right, the stages of grief don't come in any specific order, and we experience them more than once ... sometimes all of them at once. It's hard, but slowly and surely it will lift.

Sixteen years is a long time to have a constant companion, and then have them be gone. Come here and share when you feel up to it, and take care of yourself as you grieve.

Hugs of comfort,


Posts: 282
So sorry to hear about A.T.   We would love to hear more about your life with her if you are feeling up to it.    I'm glad you're aware of the stages of grief and the fact that they don't really come in order.   They come and go like waves.   I dont' know if you can prepare for how they are going to hit but it being aware of them is beneficial.   I'm sure your A.T. had a fantastic life with you and I hope that brings you some comfort.   Reading other's stories helps me alot too because it was so painful in the beginning to wonder "why me? "   And then I saw that it was not me at all,  it's "us"  and the "why"  is a mystery that we're all trying to solve together.


Posts: 308
I am so sorry for your loss, 16 years is a long time .. I  wish i had some words to help you now, but as i have learned we all greive in our own way and in our own time. Nothing is wrong. Come here often ..we all understand this process.

Lennys Mom
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