Petloss.com Logo. Puff and Midget under the rainbow

ALL the Pet Loss Message Boards are moderated to make this an ABSOLUTELY SAFE place for you to find support.
You must REGISTER before you can post or reply.
Posts and replies cannot be viewed until after they have been checked for content & released by the Board Moderators. - EdW
Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
Sign up  |   |   |  Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #1 
I’m devisatated by the loss of my beautiful affectionate Maine Coon named Taz. He was 14 years old and developed respiratory distress and 2 days later he died in my arms. He had a mass in his throat that I was trying to decide whether it was going to be in his favor to try and scope and biopsy. He also showed an enlarged heart putting him at risk for any procedures. The vet told me that she didn’t think he had much longer we discussed it and decided on a shot of steroids and I brought him home. He was so scared at the vet office. He improved for 24 hours then declined rapidly overnight. I held him as he gasped his last breaths then seized once and died. I’m traumatized and filled with horrible guilt. I had hope he was going to be ok. I didn’t want him to die alone in a cold cage at the vet office. I can’t stop crying it hurts so much he was my world.. I’m so sorry he was in pain I didn’t want him to be scared. Was I wrong? I loved him so much.
Shanrip

Registered:
Posts: 13
 #2 
Oh, you were not wrong, he felt your love especially in your arms, I felt so much guilt after deciding to put down my dog, after 12 years, it happened so fast, did not realize he was sick, and then he was gone after a few injections. It's terrible, I still have guilt but know they just dont' always let us know, they want to love us and have fun until the last possible moment, which is why a lot of times it's such a shock. There with you in those feelings, you are not alone. Keep reaching out. 
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #3 
Thank you for the kind reply this site is great since I’ve already had some peculiar looks from my supervisor about the level of grief I’m clearly experiencing. I appreciate the positive support and hope I can do the same for others in their time of pain and grief.
Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 167
 #4 
Hi Trishataz78

Yes one of the positive things about going through the loss of a cherished fur baby is that it opens our heart to the suffering of other people experiencing the same pain. Until I went through the crushing pain myself, there was no way I could have understood how someone could hurt so much over the loss of a pet. And like you, I too had a desire to extend some help and comfort to others going through this devastating experience. But there is no magic wand that can be waved and just make things all better. The grieving and recovery is long, deep and torturous process that is going to be a very difficult one. Try to find some distractions if you can - it may give you some momentary relief from the unrelenting pain that usually happens, especially in the first weeks and months.
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #5 
Thank you for being there for me it really means a great deal to me that people do care and understand I’m looking at adoption sites for a sweet kitty that needs and deserves a loving safe home to be utterly spoiled in🐾💕
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #6 
It’s so strange he has only been gone for 5 days but it feels like my heart has been breaking for months already. I’m reminded of him in a thousand ways and catch myself approaching day to day life with actions that involve him being present. walking thru the door my first action is to run and find him after a long day at work. I miss my baby.
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #7 
I’m going to pick up my dear little boys ashes today. Coming home to an empty house is unbearable and seems like my depression is getting worse instead of better. He was my heart and I’m beyond sad missing him more than I can express.
buddy2k

Registered:
Posts: 103
 #8 
I totally relate with how you feel.  I hate the mornings now and that my Lilly isn't there to greet me.  My heart physically hurts & aches.
She too - was my heart cat.  Hugs & love to you. Lilly's mom
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #9 
Thank you Lily’s mom wish I could give you a big hug too. I’m so sorry for your loss. I read an article about the grief process and how crying is our bodies way of coping with the pain. Brain releasing certain chemicals suppose to help you move through the process. I read all this info and my brain is acknowledging it but my heart won’t. I just want to turn the clock back to the day before so I can hold him all day long and talk to him just to love him once more. Praying for your peace praying for mine 🐾🙏💕
Shanrip

Registered:
Posts: 13
 #10 
Yes, the "if I only had one more day" feeling is so hard. I still remember the feeling of how soft my dogs ears and head were and how he leaned into me for hugs. I miss that so much it still physically hurts sometimes.
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #11 
I’m so grateful for you and thank you for being here for me and your kind words of support & understanding. I know your pain and wish I could give you a big hug. 🐾🙏💕
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #12 
I miss him so much 😪
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #13 
I thought I felt him brush against my leg and then as I was drifting to sleep saw him on my bed. I miss him so much 🐾🙏💕😪
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #14 
Its only 2 weeks still crying daily I miss him so much I don’t even want to get another kitty I wish he was still here with me it’s just unbelievable that he is really gone😪
Vblue

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #15 
I fully understand your pain, we put our Bear to sleep a week ago and I feel every emotion you are feeling. I got up with my husband this morning to send him off to work and decided to come back to bed. I prayed and asked God to give me peace and relief from the extreme grief I was experiencing and for the first time since we put him to sleep I dreamed about Bear. I could hear him moving around and signing like he did when he was bored and laying around. This dream gave me great peace and relief. For the first time I am happy knowing he is free from pain and I am choosing to belief he is reunited with his mom, dad and brother and having the time of his life being with them. Our family will never be the same without him but it gives me great relief knowing he is not alone, scared or lonely.
buddy2k

Registered:
Posts: 103
 #16 
Trishataz78, I know exactly how you feel.
I miss my Lilly so much, that sometimes I feel like I can't stand it.
My heart hurts.  You are not alone in this feeling.
Hoping that one day we find peace.
Hugs for you .. Lilly's mom
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #17 
Thank you both for the kind words and support I pray evey day asking God to guide me through the grief and pain. It’s so very hard 14 years is a long time the bond was so strong. He was everything to me.
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #18 
Lilly and Bear’s mom I’m hugging you both 🐾🙏💕
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #19 
Im torn on whether to get a new kitty. I’m realizing it has a lot to do with me wanting Taz back and maybe the new kitty will not love me as much and I’m afraid that will bring on a new kind of pain. I raised Taz from a 12 week old kitten and carried him around everywhere Ifor almost a year. He loved to be carried around the house to the moment he died. That was the last thing we did I carried him once around the house. I won’t have the same amount of free time to bond with my new kitty.
. I’m having trouble sleeping on my off days. I cried myself to sleep at 7am after being up all day and night. I have such terrible regret that I didn’t take Taz to the vet sooner I’m trying so hard to tell myself I gave him so much love and he had a good safe life but it’s my own selfish need to have him back that is making me so very sad. I’m going to the adoption event on Saturday I know there are so many kitty’s that need a home and are sadly in cold cages. 🐾🙏💕
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #20 
So many sweet kitty’s at the adoption event and I guess I’m not ready....miss my baby I wake up and he is my first thought and then I realize he’s gone and instant sadness hits me hard.
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #21 
I feel like I’m dying without him.
Nefret999

Registered:
Posts: 154
 #22 
You have to live FOR him. You need to live a life that was made infinitely better because you had him with you in it. Take that experience, all the love and fun and laughter, and make it part of your life from now on. The pain now is immense, of course, but imagine how sad he would be to know that you are sad! Don't pressure yourself into getting another pet right away; now is not the time. You need to live with your grief for a while and deal. You'll know when you're ready. But in the meantime, remember the joy that your loved baby brought you. The good outweighs the bad 1000 to 1.
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #23 
You’re right I’m not ready but miss having a furry face to pet and love. I went to the adoption event again today and spent a good deal of time petting the older kitty’s but I just couldn’t take one home just yet. 🐾🙏💕
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #24 
It’s been 3 weeks I’m passing through the stages of grief very slow. Just when I think I’m through bargain g I find myself wishing for just one more day. Blaming myself for not doing more and lonely without my buddy curling up in my arm and under my neck as I fall asleep. I love you Taz goodnight baby kitty.
buddy2k

Registered:
Posts: 103
 #25 
Trishataz78, I feel the same as you.
It will be 5 weeks tomorrow, since my Lilly left me.
I am still totally heartbroken.
I used to tell her, almost daily, how much I'd miss her if she ever left me.
I feared it, I just knew how awful it would be - and it is.
She was totally my heartcat, and now my heart hurts, really hurts.
I can only hope that one day the pain goes away.
I hate life without her.
Hugs for you - this is hard - Lilly's mom
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #26 
Thank you Lilly’s mom I’m hugging you and praying for us both. I read that pet grief is much harder in many ways than grieving for another human. The unconditional love being the reason and how our fur babies never got angry resentful or intolerant of us. They were so happy when we were home and showed us that love. I prayed for him daily and was thinking today maybe I did get extra time with him and just didn’t know it. I’m trying every way I know to heal. Missing him at night is keeping me from sleeping and I’m crying daily and it’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I’m having trouble with the guilt that I could’ve done more months ago. I’m sorry Taz I’m so sorry baby. 😢🐾🙏💕
Sweetpea7

Registered:
Posts: 34
 #27 
Trishataz and buddy My heart aches for you both.i feel your pain ,and understand,as I continue to hurt over my 2 losses,sweetest cats ever,!

Karmacat what you said is so true.

It is hard and I hate it. Last time 3 years ago ,I spent time going to adoption places but realized ...I wasn’t ready. I realized I was trying to replace my furry calico. .but this time ,having no kitties left to care for,I needed to get one - I needed a fur baby to take care of ,being alone and all. She is helping tremendously but the pain I feel over the loss of my last two is still comes around. miss them terribly !
Love and hugs🙏
Peanuts and Spankys mom
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #28 
Thank you for the kindness I am very thankful for the love and support from everyone. I know I can’t ever replace him and that makes it hurt that much more. I’m still in shock it just stinks that we can’t have our gentle loving baby’s longer.
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #29 
I still make a spot for him the way he liked it on my bed with an open clear spot to lay next to me it was so special to me that he loved being so close. I felt so blessed having such a sweet baby. Gone but never ever forgotten. 🐾🙏💕
buddy2k

Registered:
Posts: 103
 #30 
Hugs Trishataz78, because I know how much it hurts.
Yes, you were so blessed having such a sweet and loving baby.
That's why we hurt - because they loved us, and we loved them so very deeply.
Lilly's mom
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #31 
Lilly’s mom big hugs to you I’m praying every day I’m exhausted and will never be the same person. I feel it was my fault and I’m blaming myself for not taking action sooner. I can’t believe I did this to my best friend and companion I’m so sorry Taz I love you so much.
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #32 
Crying every day for a month seems like a nightmare but here I am a month has passed and I’m still crying myself to sleep missing my snuggle buddy. 😪🐾
Sweetpea7

Registered:
Posts: 34
 #33 
I understand. The pain of losing a beloved pet is so hard. deep.i still cry .been a month for me since sweet Peanut been gone .I Try to keep busy - glad I have new kitty Bella .it helps.
But I still miss my 3 little rascals as I dubbed them.out of all the cats I’ve had Peanut and Spanky , and their half sibling Pumpkin ,who I lost to a stroke 3 yrs ago,were the best kitties ever! and I miss them all terribly!😪
Trishataz ,please don’t blame yourself.Sending (((hugs )))and prayers to you .hope your pain eases soon. 🙏
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #34 
Sweetpea7 thank you Peanut’s mom I was really hardcore blaming myself and beating myself up for being so stupid and not doing more to save my baby Taz. I’m still in quite a bit of pain but I’m moving through the grief as good as expected for how strong our bond was. I’m so thankful for your kind words and hugs and pray you too are getting through your loss 🐾🙏💕
Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #35 
I came home from a hard stressful workday and had a moment thinking that my baby was alive and waiting for me to give him a big hug. It was crushing and sent me back to day one. 😪🐾
buddy2k

Registered:
Posts: 103
 #36 
Trishataz78
I hope you're doing ok.
I feel so bad for you.
I miss my Lilly so much, that it hurts.
The house is just so quiet without her.  The mornings are so quiet without her.
I miss her running to me, and greeting me, with what seemed like a smile, first thing in the morning, or whenever I'd come home from somewhere. She was always so happy.
She was always by my side when I was home.  She would look for me when she woke up from a nap, run from room to room, until she found me.
So I KNOW how you feel, and I feel bad for you.
Lilly was my everything, my soulcat, just like Taz was yours.
I hope one day - we can let go of the sadness - and just be ok.
I know we will never not miss them, but, I just want to be ok. They would want us to be ok, but, it's just not that easy is it.
Hugs for you - you're not alone - we're all here with you.
Lilly's mom

Trishataz78

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #37 
I miss my companion and warm snuggle buddy so much my weekends are so hard I spend most of my time home and it’s so empty quiet and painfully obviou the absence of my best friend 🐾😢
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

If you can, please help support this Message Board with a donation: