Registered: 1537258077 Posts: 3
About 4 days ago I was getting my baby dog angel ready for a walk she was about a year old black lab akita she was so full of life so she would get excited when I would walk her. She got too excited a few days ago and my friend moved my dog gate to go outside she ran super fast across the street. This happend often so I thought she would come back. Her little ears went up with her big smile on her face looked at me from the across the road waiting for 2 cars to pass then came running to me I looked up and the next thing I seen was my poor baby girl under a tire of a big suv I collapsed to the ground screaming stop my baby my baby and I kept blacking out I seen them hit her run over her forward then backed up the whole car was balanced on her then it went down and the tire was stuck on her tummy they kept pressing the gas trying to get away and they did a burn out on her stomach for a good minute all I could see were her little legs moving she was trying to escape but was stuck she struggled so bad her toes came off :'( finally they stopped And she crawled a bit out and layed there in shock she was biting her tongue so hard and her eyes were dialated and huge she looked so scared couldn't move was pooping herself and bleeding out of her nose her back was arched in and I put her on the sidewalk I kept screaming inna panic. I got her in a car after a few minutes and held her in the backseat on the way to the vet her eyes kept rolling to the back of her head I kept saying please stay alive baby please she struggled to breathe you could hear it. I made it to the vet and they told me she had minutes to live amd she was fighting to hold on. I went back with her and held her until they put her down it was like she wasn't even there my poor baby she had head trauma you could tell. She looked so scared I can't explain it. I can't believe this happend so fast unexpectedly. It still doesn't feel real days later. It feels like a dream. I've never been this heart broken and I can't get the image of her under the tire out of my head. its on repeat. I've been crying for 2 days non stop. I keep having panic attacks about 15 times a day. Its so bad I was screaming this morning I want my baby so loud alone crying. Each cry I can feel my heart ripping from my body. I can't sleep I cant eat. When I do sleep for a short period I wake up automatically crying and screaming. I'm in shock and nothing feels real. Its all a daze. I just feel so guilty and I want to get her back so bad it makes me wanna scream. Why did this happen. I keep feeling and thinking about the pain she was in and how scared she was. I should have protected her better. I should of done something. Ive also been having thoughts of suicide. My house feels so empty and lonely. My stomach twist at the thought and image of it all. She didn't deserve that. She was so full of life and love always smiling. She was my best friend my kid. My life. I don't know how to bare with this or accept it. I'm going insane. And I can't stop panicing to the point I struggle to breathe. Please just wake me up from this nightmare.
Registered: 1537194851 Posts: 13
I am so so sorry, do you have support? I can only imagine how much pain you are in, I had to put down my dog yesterday and my heart is breaking for you as well. Grieving is so so hard, and more when something like this happened. She is at peace now, her pain has subsided. Try to concentrate on that. If you need it, get help and talk to someone professional. That is a very shocking and unfair loss! Keep picturing her at peace. just keep repeating that, and remembering the life she had.
Registered: 1392656387 Posts: 93
To say I'm so sorry for your loss doesn't seem like enough. You have been through a very traumatic experience and it's heartbreaking reading your story. It was a terrible accident. Please don't blame yourself. Please find some support for yourself. Your baby girl loved you and you loved her. She knew that. You will need some time to grieve and take as much time as you need. This site is a very good place to come for support. Let us know how you're doing . I know how much this hurts. Take care of yourself. Giving you a virtual hug and my thoughts are with you. Skmk