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JackieTeller

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Posts: 228
 #1 
Three weeks ago today my best friend and companion for the last 14+ years passed over to the Rainbow Bridge.  Rosie was a Jack Russell Terrier that I acquired from my son over 14 years ago.  She was a couple years old at the time so I estimate she was around 16.

I am heartbroken.  She gave me the reason to live.  Her and her sisters, Lulu, a chihuahua/jack russell and Kitkat, a cat I rescued 9 years ago were/are the light of my life.  

Rosie had congestive heart failure.  She was going deaf and had cataracts in her last year but the CHF, came so suddenly, yet it really didn't.  I regularly took her to the vet and she had a heart murmur but it didn't get bad until the last few months.  I had just brought her home from the vet on Wednesday, the 16th after spending the day there draining the fluids from her lungs and trying to stabilize her.  When I picked her up, we scheduled another appointment the following Wednesday.  Little did I know I would be picking up her ashes that week.  

After the Wednesday appointment, she still didn't seem right.  So on Thursday, after I got home from work (and checking on her at lunchtime) Rose and I had a little talk about her going "home".  I told her how much I loved her and what a wonderful companion she had been.  We talked about her squirrel chasing days, her jumping up trees, riding in the car, chasing her ball and going to the beach.  We talked about all the wonderful things she had gotten to do in her life.  But in the end, I said it was okay if she wanted to leave Mama..that she would always be there in my heart.

The next morning, Friday, May 18th, I awoke at 6 am to Rosie heavily panting and not able to breathe.  I let her sit in my lap one last time as we drove to the emergency vet services.  It was awful but I knew it was time and I had given her permission to go.  I held my baby in my arms as they euthanized her.  Her poor little heart had just given out.  I could have extensive measures taken to extend her life but her quality of life would have been very poor.  So I made the decision to let her go.  Did I do the right thing?  Yes, she had a good life and I was the best mama I could be to her.  Does it make the pain any less...no.  A part of my heart died when you died Rosie and I look forwards to seeing you and all my other fur babies at the Rainbow Bridge.  Love you Forever Rose...Mama




cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #2 
Dear Rosie's mom.
I feel your heart ache and pain. I am so very sorry that your journey with Rosie had to come to an end. I can feel the love in every word you wrote. Rosie was such a lucky girl to have been loved as deeply as you loved her. You were a good mom and Rosie knew that. It sounds as if you did do the right thing in letting her go. I know, knowing this never makes it any easier but they trust us to let them go in the end because of our love for them, it's our final act of love. It hurts knowing we held their lives in our hands but they trusted us enough to know when their time was coming short to be strong and love them till the end and beyond. Your journey with Rosie sounds so much like my journey with Termy. He was over 16 years old to. His heart and mind was in living but his old and tired body said differently. I too promised Termy that I would "fix" this and I kept my promise to him even knowing living without him was going to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
Grieve and cry when you feel the need and try to replace all the negative thoughts with all those "special days" chasing squirrels, riding in the car and the beach. This is why they made those memories with us so that we can relive the good times and smile.
Peace to you
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 228
 #3 
Thank you Cosesmom,

Rosie's passing was the most humane thing I could have done.  I have to remember...do what is best for your furbaby...not what is best for you.  That is true love and selflessness.  I know Rosie would want me to celebrate her life and not grieve it...which is hard to do.  I bought a Rose called an electron in memory of Rosie as she truly was an "electron" in my life.  

Thank you for your kind thoughts.

Rosie's Mama
MyLittleOneIsGone

Registered:
Posts: 194
 #4 
Hi Jackie, 

Wishing you an enjoyable trip. It looks like your Alaska trip is almost here. I believe you'll have almost a full day of daylight. It seems like a tranquil place. Will you be on a cruise or land travel or both?  I wish you a lot of fun and relaxation, with no worries.

That was thoughtful of you to send off a balloon for RJ.  I'm sorry again. 

~Parker's Mom (Tina)
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