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sukku

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Posts: 1
 #1 
It's just been almost 2 days that she is no more there and I am finding it hard to come in terms with it. It still feels so unreal. I don't think everyone will say she was my dog technically because she was one of the several stray puppies I used to feed three times a day, and took care of the medical needs of.This one in particular was one of the 4 pups I had been taking care of ever since her mom gave birth to her near my house around 7 months ago. I feed a lots of stray dogs in my neighborhood and try my best to do my bit since there are almost no animal shelters in my country and strays just tend to roam around. So this dog in particular was one of those who was the tiniest one in size but the most energetic and playful out of all. I used to call her Puchu.
Puchu was so full of life and almost everyone who saw her immediately fell in love with her. When she was still a tiny baby, I used to carry her around in my neighborhood sometimes while she slept in my arms. She enjoyed sleeping wrapped around my legs or with my arm around her till the very end. She used to get jealous when i would pat or give belly rubs to other stray dogs in the neighborhood and would come running and would start licking my hands and legs and cry out asking me to pat and give belly rubs to her. She was one of the only dogs in my neighborhood who would wait for me whenever i would come back home and wag her tail while crying and licking my feet, or ask me to feed her whenever I would be a bit late to give her food. I used to let her stay in my tiny backyard whenever she wanted. Puchu would generally take shelter in a building opposite to mine which is still under construction along with a few other dogs and her siblings for the night. I could always see her from the window in my room at night from where she would bark happily and wag her tail at times if she caught a glimpse of me at night. So two days ago, after eating her food for the night she refused to leave my backyard and I had to try several times to make her follow me to the house opposite mine where she generally sleeps every night. I didn't think much of it as her not wanting to leave was nothing new as she would generally refuse to leave my backyard and later squeeze out of the fence after I would go back inside my house to go back to the building opposite mine. I had got her spayed around a week ago and her stitches hadn't dried yet properly so I forced her to go out thinking she would hurt herself while trying to squeeze out like every time.
The last I saw her was around 3 am sleeping with her siblings from my window at night. When I went to feed the dogs in the morning, that is when I noticed her missing. I started to get a bad feeling as she was very attached to me almost always would be there. Still I tried to calm myself down hoping she is just roaming around in the neighborhood and would be back soon. When she wasn't back and it was afternoon already I ran to the construction workers if they had seen her and asked them to send her to me since she hasn't eaten anything since morning. That's when they told me that they found her dead in the building in the morning while biting down on a live wire so they threw away her body in some bushes nearby. The workers had forgot to turn off the power for the night after their work and unfortunately she died while playing with the wire. I just didn't know how to how to process that information and hoped they were lying. I kept looking at the places she would generally hang at hoping she would see me and come running to me asking me to feed her as she hadn't eaten the whole day. I tried finding her body and couldn't find it and couldn't sleep the whole night hoping and praying hard it was a big joke. In the morning my mom and dad made the construction workers to bring out her body and called me to see her one last time. There she was, laying lifeless. Her eyes had turned gray and her body had started to rot and swell already. There were flies around her stitches. I was raging with anger and started crying. I was angry at how we human make the life of these animals hard and making them adapt to our modern needs. I was angry at the construction workers for their negligence. They knew strays took shelter there for the night generally. Forget about strays, even accidental human contact with the wire would have killed a human. I can't forgive myself thinking maybe I could have done something. Maybe for once I should have let her stay in my backyard for the night and hopefully she would have decided to stay there too then she would have been alive. I keep replaying the last day she was there wishing if I could have done anything differently so that she would have been alive today.
She was still a baby and so full of life. She wasn't the one to die this early. I had envisioned her growing up and have her around for several years to come. I can't stop crying and keep looking at the places she would sleep hoping to get a glimpse of her. It feels so quiet without her around. I just hope wherever she is, she is in a better place. Life as a stray is hard but I really hope she hadn't died such a painful death. It breaks my heart to even think about how she might have died..
I just wanted to let it out here since I don't know who else to talk to about it. She was a stray and most people around me can't really understand why I feel so sad and heart broken over a stray.
I still hope it is some nightmare that I can break out of..
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 535
 #2 
I know how hurt you must feel. What an awful thing to happen. It sounds as if you had a magical connection with Puchu. I know your time with her was short but I know you made a difference in her life. You showed her what love is and that there is kindness in this world. You made her life so wonderful and saw that she didn't go with out. What a kind and loving heart you have. I know it's hard to not be able to save them all. My heart breaks every day for the ones who have never had a gentle pat on the head or a bowl full of food and most of all no one to love them. You were her hero as she was your little Angle.
Be gentle with yourself, it was just a tragic accident, nothing more. Puchu will be waiting for you at the Bridge for you to join her one day.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
KatKat

Registered:
Posts: 171
 #3 
I am so sorry.  What a sad, painful situation. You did your best to care for Puchu and showed her much love by the things you did for her and your concern and feelings of loss also show great caring for such a beautiful creature.  Termy's mom is correct, you gave her something very special in her short life.  It's so sad that our beautiful animals are subjected to such tough lives.  Shame on the construction workers for their disregard.  My thoughts are with you.


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