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Annemarie12

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Posts: 2
 #1 
My sweet 9 week old Puggle drowned. I had only left him for a few minutes to walk inside and grab something. We had had him since 4 weeks of age. He never went by the pool. He always avoided it. I'm sick with guilt. I gave mouth to mouth and CPR and now I am constantly thinking maybe I could have done it differently. I am having a hard time.

The school counselor told me to get my boys a new puppy soon. So I did. I got them a bigger breed and we never even close our eyes to blink when we go outside.

It's been a week and a half. I miss that little guy sooooooooo much. The new puppy is sweet, but it isn't him. Totally different personalities. I want to adopt a Puggle again. I don't know when though. I wonder if that will help me heal too.

I cried for 3 days straight and still cry thinking about what happened. Why. Why did he fall in? Why couldn't I save him? Why did I walk away?
PunkinMummy

Registered:
Posts: 1,038
 #2 
Dear Annemarie12,

I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your sweet boy. I had to look up what a Puggle is and they look like such sweet babies. Losing our little ones from our physical sides when they pass from this Earth is one of the hardest things we ever go through. I ache to think you are blaming yourself as terrible accidents occur in this world. I can feel so much love in your words for your good boy and I know you wish he were still here with you. I am so sorry for the terrible pain you are feeling. Please try to be gentle with yourself. We all struggle with guilt and the what-if's. Come back often and share more about your sweet boy when you can. You have come to a good place where everyone understands that love you feel and that terrible sense of loss you are feeling now. Keeping you in my thoughts in these difficult days.

With deepest sympathy,

Colleen

For Annamarie12 ~

Borrowed Angels

They shine a little brighter
They feel a little more
They touch a life in ways no one has ever done before
They love a little stronger and live to give their best and make our lives so blessed.
So why do they go so soon the ones with souls so beautiful,
I heard someone say they must be borrowed angels
here in this life, they come along into this world
and make this world bright
but they can't stay forever
cause they're heaven sent
and sometimes heaven needs them back again.
They reach a little deeper,
see what’s in your soul
and even when they leave
you know you'll never let them go.
The world’s a little richer
just cause they came along
their love goes on and on
so why do they go so soon
the ones with souls so beautiful?
I heard someone say they must be borrowed angels
and sometimes heaven needs them back again.
I believe they must be borrowed angels…

~ Kristin Chenoweth

Elnicsa

Registered:
Posts: 110
 #3 
I'm sorry for your tragic loss.  I lost my 2 month old puppy last week Friday (around about this exact time).  It was also tragic and possibly unavoidable.  My eyes were off her for 30 seconds.  I also gave her mouth to mouth and CPR.  Those images and memories are burnt into me forever. 

Thank you for posting that beautiful poem Punkinmummy.

Annemarie, I wish you much strength as your grieve your little puggle. 
Annemarie12

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #4 
Thank you both.

Yes the rescue attempt is forever burnt into my memory. It's the trauma of it that just adds to the pain.

I had a cat live almost 20 years and his loss was hard, but this is so different and gut wrenching. Burghley was the puppy who taught me I'm really a dog person and was the baby my three boys begged for for years. I was comforted by their insistence to me that it wasn't my fault but I'm still burdened.

Thank you for your support and kindness.
Hvb77

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #5 
I lost my 25 month old Bichon Frise yesterday, we were visiting a house with a pool and when we got there she was so excited she ran out the car, the pool was round the back so we had no idea the gate was open and pool cover was on, my husband went round back to look for her and she was under the pool cover. I gave mouth to mouth and heart compression for 25 minutes while on way 2 vets but I couldn’t save my beautiful baby girl. She was such a special loving soul and I can’t bare this pain. My kids are distraught and my Labrador is wondering where his friend has gone and keeps whimpering. I’ve lost dogs before from old age but never in traumatic circumstances like this and so young, I have been crying for 2 days straight, no sleep, can’t eat without vomiting, I can’t bare not seeing her little face. It’s unbearable......the guilt it overwhelming
KatKat

Registered:
Posts: 171
 #6 
The loss of a beloved pet is always difficult but whenever a situation occurs such as this the vision itself is traumatic.  My dog killed my kitten in front of me.  I thought if I was right there, never left her alone with him then it would be ok.  I was sitting right there, It happened so fast that I couldn't stop it.  I won't elaborate further on the details, let's just say it will forever be burned in my brain.  In the beginning, I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, I vomited, I cried, I moved through the day in a fog.  I've been seeing a counselor and visiting this message board and it has helped.  I still miss her every day, still want to turn back time and have those moments where I think what was I thinking when I put her toy on the floor with him in the room but when I start having that feeling of despair deep in my stomach I try to busy myself with something, I think "STOP" or I say to myself that "I did the best that I could."  It's normal to feel despair, devastated and guilty even though you did the best that you could.  It was an accident, you loved your pet and did everything that you could.  Time is a great healer.  So sorry to hear of everyone's loss.  Please know that your pain is recognized and my wish for all of you today is that you can find a brief moment of peace.
Jwarner90

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #7 
I'm thinking of you this week. My doggie Ghost drowned on the 31st and I feel like I'm in a fog. I have your same questions. It all happened so fast. We tried CPR too and it didn't work. I can't even bring myself to think about another dog, knowing that it won't be Ghost. 

I cried all day Saturday and Sunday. This morning I cried on my way to work, but I've been able to hold it together at work. I think it helps getting back into my routine. Ghost is on my computer background and I don't think I'll ever change it now.

My advice would be to try to move forward. It's hard, but I took a step in the right direction today I think. Think about your boys and try to bond with your new pup. Take care of yourself and try to think about the good memories with your pup when those horrible ones start flooding in.
KatKat

Registered:
Posts: 171
 #8 
So sorry to hear about Ghost.  My thoughts are with you.
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