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cheercoachcce

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Posts: 4
 #1 

My dog Dizzy that I adopted just passed Sunday Sept 19, 2010 also my 30th birthday.  I have had this dog for 14 years and he was my best friend. He was there with me through everything including my husbands deployments. It was 5am when my husband and I woke to a very strange howl/cry. My husband jumped out of bed but did not see anything. I actually have 2 dogs and it sounded like the other dog but he was laying by our bed and I really did not think it was Dizzy. I later woke to find him laying outside the dog door. My husband made the comment "well I think he kicked the bucket" ok so my husband was not to fond of my fury friend and was probally jealous. Anyways, I went outside to check to see if he was breathing. He was not. I knew then that he was gone. I laid on the concrete beside him and cried while petting his rough course hair that I had rubbed for years. I just stay there and cried beside him. After saying an 1 hour good bye sobbing my husband buried him. I could not watch. We decided to do it in our backyard so that 1. We did not have to transport him in a trash bag because he is not trash and 2. I know he wanted to be right near us.  I could have done it at my fathers in the country but I did not want him to be in place that he was not familiar with and that I could not go and talk to him.  My other dog has been grieving and I feel bad for her. Not sure what to do to make her feel better. As for myself, I have cried and cried. I even got to the point (in my head would not do) to dig him up just so I could pet and kiss him one last time. I feel bad that I did not wake to check on him as maybe he was saying goodbye or in pain and I did not respond but it just did not sound like him at all.  All I want is my faithful loving best friend to come back and love on me. I dont understand! And then on my birthday which means every birthday I will mourn the loss of my friend.  I keep thinking of his sweet face and those kisses he would always share. He was my baby and I can not imagine life without him.  I am so depressed and sad that all I do is think about his last breaths and how I should have given him a kiss before he went to bed. I just do not know what to do. He was that rock in my life....Please pray for me and my other dog Terrie as they were together 12 years..=(

Daisymom

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Posts: 65
 #2 
I'm so sorry!  I'm sure he was a very lucky dog to have had 14 years with you. 

I lost my 12 year old cat sometime in the night.  I found him dead this morning and I also wish I had at least kissed him and bid him good night last night.  
Bobo

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Posts: 116
 #3 

Cheer, I'm so sorry about Dizzy. You gave Dizzy a loving home for 14 years, he knows you loved him. We can only have them for so long, then we have to say goodbye. This will be a hard time for you and your other furbaby. We are all here for you. Your in my prayers.....

cheercoachcce

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Posts: 4
 #4 
Guys thank you. Reading this brought once again tears to my eyes. I know he cant be here forever. I had my son a year ago and I feel that I did not pay him the attention that I did before. I hope he understood that my love was still there but had another little one to love on that took my time.

What can I do for my other dog to help her? I have been loving on her but that is all I know to do. She doesnt even really want to go outside now where he was found and buried.

Daisy, I am very sorry for your loss. You will be in my prayers as well and I am here and understand how you are feeling.

I am thinking of buying a book to help me with the grief. I have severe depression but my psychologist is out for a month due to surgery. Please everyone continue to pray for us all that have a broken heart!
MegansMum

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Posts: 72
 #5 
I am so sorry for your loss and also that it has happened on your birthday. I lost my furbaby Megan 5 weeks ago after a road accident. I have also thought many times that I wish I could just dig her up for one more cuddle, even yesterday I thought it. I feel totally foolish for typing that, I know it's a stupid comment but it is just my heart ruling my head.
I am glad you have found PL. I dont know where I would be now without this place to come. My partner is grieving just as hard as me so we have had each other to hold and cry with, I hope your husband will understand your heartache even if he doesn't feel it too.
So sorry xx
PegnShannon

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Posts: 14
 #6 

I am so sorry for your loss of Dizzy.  I am facing the ultimate decision for my 20 yr. old cat and know how hard this is.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  God bless you for being such a good mom to Dizzy.  He has part of your heart for company at the bridge.

KatLover

Registered:
Posts: 842
 #7 
First, I am so sorry for your loss.  We all know how much it can hurt.  I've always found reading to help me with many problems.  In my library, I even found one book on pet loss.  Any book on grieving should help.  The older books tend to only discuss the loss of people, but more psychologists are also realizing the impact of pet loss.

We've all had thoughts like you, don't worry.  A friend of mine attempted suicide, went into a coma, and then died on my birthday.  It's become now a way to remember him; I know he's at peace.  He had a rough life and not many people cared about him, but I know where's he at now, all that has been healed.  So try not to worry about it; I think God has a way of helping us out with these things.

Kathy

Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #8 
I am so sorry your precious Dizzy has passed on.  He sounds like a very sweet boy and I know how dearly you are missing him.  It is sad that Terrie is upset over losing her dear friend.  Be extra loving with Terrie and maybe you can give her one of Dizzy's toys or blanket for extra comfort?  It is so hard on the pet left behind because they don't understand where their buddy is hiding.  I am sorry that Dizzy passed away on your birthday.   Your precious Dizzy had many wonderful years with you and your family and take comfort in knowing that you will see him again someday.

Mare
precious Christoph ~ 2 years at the bridge ~

BenjiandPacosmom

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Posts: 39
 #9 
I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  My Paco's cancer was diagnosed on my boyfriend's birthday last July and Paco was put down the next day.  I know my boyfriend, who shared my dogs, will never feel the sameabout his birthday again.
BenjiandPacosmom
WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #10 
I am so very, very sorry your beloved Dizzy has passed on.  Please don't be hard on yourself for not getting up and checking on him.   I believe our animals carry our love for them in their hearts, and in doing so, they are never really alone.  Dizzy knows your heart.  He knows how very much you loved/still love him.  I know it hurts that Dizzy passed on your birthday.  You may want to think of it this way: Dizzy was born into his joyful eternal life, free of all pain, and got his beautiful angel wings on your birthday.  The angels were with him when he passed, so he felt no fear at all.  He will forever be your special guardian angel now.  Death does not break our bonds with our beloved pets; in my experience, it only strengthens them.  

When you feel up to it, I would love to hear more about your boy.  I know you must have so many stories to share.  I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Melissa
cheercoachcce

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #11 
Well guys it has been a week since I buried my best friend. Things are not any easier. With history of depression I find my self more amore depressed. My heart is not whole and will never be again. I miss his kisses and stroking his hair.

We have not had any rain in over a month but today the 1 week mark I believe tears from heaven are falling down. Some weird things have occured but maybe they can be explained but who knows... Rain, his flower off grave in my fenced back yard gone and I did have a dream that we met again but sure the dream I had was only because he was on my mind.

Was hoping to see that rainbow today but never did :(
BenjiandPacosmom

Registered:
Posts: 39
 #12 
Cheercoachcce

I want to say hang in there with both the grief and the depression.  I too suffer depression - bipolar.  Because of medication issues my BF stood with Paco when he was euthanised and I feel bad for letting my baby down, but I was in a very low spot emotionally and did not want to risk another hospitalization or becoming suicidal again.  Medication issues are now resolved and I am  doing better emotionally.  I still think of and miss Paco all the time, but the right medication can help with the mood disorder part.  I don't want to get preachy soI'll drop it there.  Pick it up if you want - or don't. 
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