Registered: 1552358620 Posts: 3
Thank you , for having this board. It’s a comfort to know I am not alone, although I am sorry we are all dealing with such a sadness.
We lost our awesome kitty, Hamster , this past Sunday morning. He was going to be 3 years old only next month, spring was coming, and I am so saddened to think that he will not be able to enjoy it. The weather is becoming nice and all I can think is that my Hamster isn’t around to enjoy it, and I start bawling. This happened so suddenly, and without any warning, or hint of being ill, at all. He seemed normal and happy. He had dinner, came inside & played with my younger kids, then went to bed with them, as had been typical. Early in the morning before dawn one of my kids heard and saw him have a convulsion while sleeping in the floor, and he let out a strange growling sound. I’ve read this is a reflex that occurs when the body dies, or shortly after death. (?) We were so shocked and confused by it, and I tried desperately to revive him, but he was gone. We are heartbroken, and I’ve been crying ever since. He was the runt of 5, but he was the smartest one of the lot, and had such a great, sweet, sensitive, and determined personality. I’m going through all those guilty feelings other people mention. Regrets of this or that. He didn’t always sleep inside but he seemed to be demanding it a bit more, and I was happy to oblige because — we just loved him. It made me happy just to see him. So I’m thankful that at least he was with my kids when he passed, and they loved him very much. His mom and 3 of his siblings are still with us, but it is hard to know that he is not. I feel so terribly sad. And I think we are all still in shock. Almost 3 years old -I wish we had more time with him, and the hole in our hearts feels huge, and personally I feel like my family is incomplete now. I feel sick,can’t eat, can’t stop crying. I also extend my sincere condolences to everyone else struggling with loss and grief tonight. I’m sorry for your loss.
Registered: 1552358620 Posts: 3
I can’t stop thinking there was something I could’ve done differently. I just miss him so much, and it feels so unfair that he’s gone because he was just a young kitty with so much life to share with us. I would always think about how I was glad that his mama (who was a stray when she came to us) had her babies (Hamster and his siblings) and they could stay with us. He was different. Like an equal, and less like a cat - I think it was because he was very sensitive personality. I don’t really know. I’m just here in day 3 and feeling sick from grief. I guess writing about it helps me get through. I know that my husband is also having a hard time with it, as are my kids, but they seem to be coping with a control that I just don’t have right now. I’m a little afraid of going into a full blown depression, since I deal with that since childhood. I miss my sweet little guy. I miss his heavy breathing chuffing he’d do while purring and rubbing his head in my face. I can still hear him and see his face. I’m afraid I’ll forget, and I don’t want to forget. Agh this sucks.
Registered: 1552422054 Posts: 6
I recently had to put my little girl down. It’s been very rough and all the feelings are there that I could have done differently, and I feel the same as I’m heading into a depression too. You’ll never forget him and you’ll have those memories of him with you forever. Hugs <3
Registered: 1159226963 Posts: 333
Oh, no, such a young boy. It sounds like he was such a special and wonderful person. A good friend and a comfort. I'm so sorry you lost him. It doesn't seem fair. It's good that he did not suffer and died doing what he loved best, never having a clue. I certainly can't think of anything you could have done differently, but we tend to blame ourselves as their caretakers. I just lost my own little girl, Ellie, and we were blessed to have her for almost 12 years. Their lives are very precious. I'm sorry.