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jeffspitaleri

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Posts: 5
 #1 
Hello everyone. I found this forum because I have been searching for some comfort as my 11-year old buddy left us on Wednesday. She was a black lab mix.

It's only been a few days and I am feeling a huge sense of denial. I know she's not here, but for some reason I can't accept that she is gone. I am really lost as well. There are many times that I do things and look for her, she's obviously not there.

She wasn't feeling too great and we took her to the vet on Tuesday and they wanted to keep her overnight. They called us Wednesday morning and said she was doing good but there were a few numbers that were too high and they felt that a few more hours would help... we agreed to pick her up later. About two hours later we received a call that she was struggling to breathe and they wanted to x-ray to see if there was fluid buildup in her chest area. After the x-ray, she collapsed and they asked what we wanted to do and I said that I didn't want her to suffer... so she was peacefully put down.

I made the call to do this... and because it happened so fast, I couldn't be there with her and I hate myself for both of these things.

We all miss her so much, I appreciate you all taking the time to read this.
Elegia

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Posts: 5
 #2 
I am so sorry.  Please don't hate yourself.  There was nothing more you could have done. She knows that you love her and you would have been by her side if it was possible.  Hang in there. 
Candice

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Posts: 28
 #3 
Hi Jeff, I'm so sorry for your loss, and even more sorry that you weren't able to be there with her. Sounds to me like you didn't want her to suffer for any more moments then she had to which was very kind.

I also had to make a really quick decision last Sunday. My 17 or old cat Tiger had multiple health issues and I had just found out he also had kidney disease. I decided to try to treat it at home on Sub q fluids but also had to try to manage diabetes possible pain and low appetite with medications. On Sunday I thought I gave him too much meds and took.him to the emergency vet but when she told me it wasn't the meds and he was having difficulty breathing I decided not to put him through more procedures or hospitalization. Most people on the board have some challenges of going over whether they did something wrong. It's torture. I did it to myself to ( still am).

We make the best call we can make at the time and you let her go without suffering more even though you would have wanted to be with her.

I found this forum helped...ironically because there are so.many sad stories. We know others are experiencing the same things and it becomes universal grief...not alone.
Elegia

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #4 
It's so true Candice. I wish there weren't so many sad stories, but it really does help to know that we are not alone.
jeffspitaleri

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #5 
I really appreciate the comments. I have read a lot of the stories on here and I have read so many that are similar to mine.

All that I hope for is that my precious pup didn't think that I dropped her off to die and that I wanted her to get better, even though it seems like I was blinded by the reality... although, she really did seem to be happy... in my heart, I know that she knew how much she was loved, I just wish that I could have been there.

All I know is that a family in Ohio misses their dog more than words can explain... and her adopted sister of 10-years, Sophie is missing her as well.

I feel so lost today, but it's nice to hear from you both.
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