Registered: 1585552119 Posts: 3
I’ve never seen one of these messages boards, and have never thought I would need to post in one either, but the pain I’m experiencing is too much. My husband and I moved to California in the beginning on December of last year and we couldn’t imagine life without a cat so we got one very quickly. T’Challa was a black little guy, with one tiny patch of white fur on his chest and the longest fangs I’ve seen on a cat. He was so so sweet and he was my baby. We both loved him so much and we both spoiled him rotten, like he was our own kid. (Which he was). We would’ve done anything and everything for him. We kept him healthy and happy, until he started breathing weirdly in the beginning of March. We took him to the vet and found out that he had FIP, a fatal disease in cats if it mutates. And his had mutated. We went through a couple of visits with the vet, draining the fluid that was building up in his lungs every week until we knew that we had a decision to make. We knew that he would suffer if we waited too long. We knew it was fatal. So we put sweet T‘Challa to rest on this past Friday evening and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
I’m really really struggling with the guilt of it all. Could I have done more? Could we have waited longer? I don’t know here without him and I can barely breathe when I think about it all. My husband and I having to make that decision, that day when we did it, and the fact that I still find myself looking for him around the apartment. It’s just so weird without him here. I had a cat back home had to be put down as well, but he was very old, and my family and I had prepared for it, but T’Challa, he was only barely 5 months old. He never got to live. It’s not fair and I’m struggling with it so much more than I thought I would be. I just thought this would help a little bit. I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. I hope everyone who’s posted is finding some peace, and I hope to find my own soon. I just wish I could have my sweet baby boy back.
Registered: 1444060919 Posts: 639
You are not alone with the thoughts you are having now. They are completely normal. Only someone who cares would be wondering if they they acted in haste or if there was more they could have done. I have experienced them myself.
This board is a place to keep posting and sharing and giving updates and asking for support. You are in a dark place. But the sun will shine again someday. I am so sorry for your loss. It came out of the blue. - Stephanie
Registered: 1585324731 Posts: 4
Sorry for your loss
Registered: 1158205770 Posts: 837
I am so sorry for your loss. Having lost a kitten to FIP many years ago I can tell you that you did not let him go too soon. A neighbor called me with a sick kitten and when I went over to her house her little one was suffering horribly from her not seeking care for him. I knew it was FIP as soon as I saw him and we rushed him to a vet immediately. You did the right thing in letting him go. Having suffered from blood clots in my lungs, a pain I can never forget, I can only imagine the pain of having fluid drained from my lungs repeatedly. I know how much you are hurting but we have to do what is best for them. Your little one is at peace now. Rest assured, his time spent with your family, though way too short, was wonderful. He was loved and he loved you in return. I agree, it's not fair. Sadly it happens all too often. Let yourself grieve for him, in time your heart will be at peace knowing you did all you could for your precious baby. Again, I am profoundly sorry.