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AndreaR1983

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Posts: 1
 #1 
Hello, I’m new here, and just need to get this out. Last Friday night, around 11:30, 2 of the 3 dogs in the house wanted to go outside. Toby was asleep, but it had been 6+ hours since he went outside, so I woke him up. It wasn’t easy. He was cozy and wanted to keep sleeping. I FORCED him outside. All three dogs were out for about 10 minutes before the first two came back. Toby didn’t. I gave him a couple more minutes, but then went looking for him. He was nowhere. I got my husband, and we ran and drove around outside for an hour looking. We couldn’t find him. It was dark and cold. We’re staying with family right now, and even though Toby has been here it’s still not “home” to him. He didn’t hear or see well, and he’s black. So many factors. Eventually my husband said there was no more point in looking that night, and to just go to bed to try tomorrow. Well, Saturday morning comes and he’s no where. I start posting on social medial. I make flyers and post them. Through the week I look everywhere I can. Every ditch and road. I watch the sky for birds. Nothing. Yesterday I finally put a sign in the yard here. I thought someone had picked him up and didn’t know where he belonged. I wanted them to know which house to bring him back to. I was ecstatic this morning when I found the sign by the garage door with a phone number to call. I called, but had to leave a message. I was so hopeful. A couple hours later the man called back. He’s the paper man in the area. The same night/early morning Toby went missing, the paper man found him lying in the road. He had been hit by a car and was dead. Just two houses up the road. Not far. The paper man put him on the side of the road so he wouldn’t keep getting hit. We never found tobys body. Maybe an animal picked him up. Maybe someone found him and buried him. We’ll never know.

I don’t know how I’ll ever get over this guilt. It’s all my fault. He was sleeping so peacefully. He didn’t want to wake up. I sent him out in the dark, not in his home, in the cold, and then just gave up looking for him. I should have just let him sleep. Why didn’t I just let him sleep?!
Always__there

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Posts: 123
 #2 
ANDREA,
Also heartbroken and devastated as to the happening of that night. Had you been in your normal setting/own home, you would have no doubt carrying out the ritual of the outings of the night. Something tells me they were not on leashes ??. We all have different levels of grief and it is the UNKNOWN that is the sad part. I do feel your pain. Good that you have other pets but the question of what happened that night will prevail. You can think this and that and I do HOPE that a passerby did the right thing and called the humane society to gather him up. We all grieve on this Forum, some more than others but this Forum also has HEALING FACTORS, as we ALL HELP EACH OTHER TO COPE, part of the HEALING PROCESS. Thinking of you this day and do find peace... Hug your other pets and talk openly to them about your loss. I am trying to cope in my own way, day-by-day. SherryXXPerryXX
stronics

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Posts: 37
 #3 
ANDREA,

I am so sorry for your loss, I know how terrible it hurts. They say in some time it gets better, I sure hope so.

David
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