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SirEddysMomma

Registered:
Posts: 142
 #1 
My Lil Eddy is dying and I am so sad. I have been holding him since last night, singing all of his favorite songs to him and he's enjoyed it. I've gotten a few kisses.
Sir Edgar Allan, who I found in 1980 and yes, that would mean that he is "30." He never made Guinness (forcing smile) as I had no proof of birth. I do have Vet records and he has made news on many an occasion.

"Lil E" has suffered from kidney disease for many years and the last 3, has been on fluids, reglan, carafate, cimitedine, supplements and a special KD diet. He's done very well. Runs the property with my other 4, that is up until last week when he went from 3 small meals a day to one. He was always 9 lbs and in the last 2 weeks, has lost 3 pounds.

He is a remarkable dog and is known in the Vet World as a "Miracle Dog" because so many times and many years ago, they gave him days, maybe just weeks to live. He's always bounced back and in full form. But, not this time.

He's sleeping now and I've stopped crying. I've been searching for a while for just someone to talk to. It's so quiet here and well, I guess I don't have to explain how sad I am.

He has just moved a bit, he's on the couch so I'm going to see to him. Thank You to anyone who has read this. I guess I just wanted to know that someone is out there and hears me.

Cynthia
Eddy's brokenhearted Momma

HelenY

Registered:
Posts: 1,415
 #2 
Dear Cynthia--

    I will keep your precious Lil Eddy in my thoughts and prayers.  How fortunate you both were to have each other for so long.  I hope that when it is his time, he will have a peaceful journey to the Bridge.

          God bless--Teddy's Mom, Helen
FriskiesDad

Registered:
Posts: 89
 #3 

Cynthia: I am so sorry for the pain you and your Eddy are going through now.  Please be assured that the people who come to Petloss are here for you. I know this for a fact because they have always been there for me, over the past 5 years and the loss of 3 of my beloved pets. We all know how you are feeling, we have all been through it ourselves.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and Eddy.

Beau

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #4 
My dearest Cynthia,

I know exactly how you feel. Stay with your puppy as long as you can today. Talk to him, kiss him. You are doing the right thing. He loves you and needs you right now.

I will light a little candle for you right now.


Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #5 
Dear Cynthia,

You have been blessed with many years with Lil Eddy and know how hard it is watching him become weaker each day.  He is quite the fighter though and has surprised vets for many years.  You and Lil Eddy will be in my prayers.

Mare

WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #6 
Dear Cynthia, I am so sorry your sweet Eddy is so ill.  I wanted you to know I will be keeping him and you in my prayers.

Melissa
SmokeysMomma

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #7 
My thought and prayers to you and your family.

Edgar (great name and great author and poet) knows how lucky he is to have you for a mama. Tell him how much he means to you and keep giving him lots of loving. I wish I could've had a chance to do that with my baby Smokey but she died suddenly....
LindaK

Registered:
Posts: 1,405
 #8 
Dear Cynthia,
I am so very sorry. You and you precious Eddy are in my prayers.

God bless, Linda
baby

Registered:
Posts: 105
 #9 
We are here and we hear you. I pray for a peaceful love filled passing of Eddy's gentle soul. He is your forever. And you'll see him again.
Peace
Mary

Plantman23

Registered:
Posts: 95
 #10 
Dear Cynthia - Yes, we are here and listening. We feel your pain, but also the love for Sir Eddy that comes through in your every word. You have been blessed with such a long time together! We at PetLoss are here for you always, should you need a healing or helping word or prayer, or just an ear to listen. Please come back often.
 
You and Eddy are in our thoughts and prayers. May the Great Spirit bless you and keep you both, and help you find peace in this difficult time.
 
Love, and purrrrs - from Mark, and Koke'e at the Bridge
nanangel

Registered:
Posts: 1,040
 #11 
May the healing hands of our Creator embrace you and your furbaby as you face one of life's biggest challenges!!!!  You both are in my thoughts and prayers!!!

Love and {{{Hugs}}}  BlakeGirl's  mommy  (Chris)


sussmom

Registered:
Posts: 1,040
 #12 
My thoughts & prayers are with you & "Lil Eddy',I pray that God  will be beside you & Lil Eddy,and when his journey  to Rainbow  Bridge  I pray he has a peaceful passing,So many  yrs. of cuddling and loving  you having,that is just wonderful,seems like Eddy has a miracle from God that  has lasted many years,when your sweet one passes know that our babies at the bridge will be waiting for him and will take good care of him until you make your journey,he is so sweet,  and loves you with all his heart,may God watch over you & Eddy and bring you peace,please post whenever you want we are here to help you through  your  grief, Blessings to you and your wonderful   "Lil" Eddy
Many Hugs & Prayers,
Sammy Sus's Mom JoAnn
gabriellesca

Registered:
Posts: 17
 #13 
Oh Cynthia - I'm sooo soooo sorry.  I lost my beloved Roo to kidney disease 3 years ago November 11th.  (Just lost her littermate on Wed. - he was 17.)  It was so tough to watch and luckily she made it clear to me when it was her time to go.  

I hope you can take some solace  in the wonderful life you have given Eddy and find some peace in what is to come.  

I've just found the site - but it seems to be a wonderful place of great support!  We are all here ... please vent, talk, and let us help you as much as we can.  

((((((((Cynthia & Eddy))))))))))
carmen

Registered:
Posts: 115
 #14 
Cynthia, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. It has been 3 days since I went through it so the feelings are all right there and still very raw. I wish I could take the sadness, fear, and heartbreak you are undoubtably feeling away for you. Like others have said, make sure you tell Lil Eddy everything you can think of, it really does help. Please post an update as soon as you feel up to it.

{{{{HUGS}}}}
Carmen
petpassion

Registered:
Posts: 225
 #15 

Hello and welcome. I can tell the love you and Lil Eddy have for each other for so many years. You have taken such great care of him. You are part of the reason they call him miracle dog. It is so hard to care for a dying pet but we do what we need to do to help make their passage to the bridge as comfortable as possible. Lil Eddy and you are in my prayers. Please come back and talk to us, we are always here.  Jill  

SirEddysMomma

Registered:
Posts: 142
 #16 
Hello to all and Thank You so very much for all of these caring and beautiful messages. I am truly touched.

Eddy is gone. I just got home, well, about 30 minutes ago from the Vet's. It's 5:25AM here right now.

My precious friend and lifelong companion has now joined my other 6 that I have said Good-Bye to over the years. I don't think I will believe it though for awhile...Edgar Allan has always been here with me for so very long. I will have patience because I feel it's not going to be the way it was with my other babies.

Early on, it looked as if my "Lil E" was going to die in my arms, all snuggled up getting hundreds of kisses, massaging him from head to toe (he always loved that) but sadly that is not what took place.

I shared about Eddy in the morning, but all the while hoping he was going to 'bounce-back' yet another time. He is such a fighter and did not give me the sign that all my dogs do ...."It's Ok Mom to let me go now."
As weak as he was, he gurgled to go outside because he has never, ever went to the bathroom in the house, regardless of how sick he had been. So, I brought him out and even when I went to pick him up to carry him into the house, he ran ahead of me but not at his usual pace. Fighter!!!

He became progressively worse, wining and became very still. There were many other signs but rather upsetting to go into them all.
When he started to yelp out in pain was when it felt like someone was ripping out the lining of my soul. I waited a little while to be sure it wasn't going to pass. The cries became more gut-wrenching. He was in terrible pain and by this time, the toxicity from the kidneys was causing rigidity in his legs. I held him and he looked at me with such sadness and fear, and again, there were other upsetting signs.

He became still and was just crying. I called the Vet and he met me in 15 minutes.  He had seen Eddy earlier in the day also, and was surprised that I didn't ask him to bring him peace.
Eddy was the first dog I ever had to bring to the Vet for this reason. But, I have to let that go and realilize that my precious Eddy Spaghetti Man is no longer in pain and he lived a long and wonderful, happy life.

I don't think that there IS a 'good' time to say good-bye. At any age.

Thank You all for reading this very long update on my precious Lil Budster. I appreciate it. I really needed to know that someone understood this pain, this sadness and this awful emptiness.

Eddy is on my bed as I have friends coming over at 9AM for a burial ceremony and since he loved Bob Marley, we'll be playing his greatest hits for Ed during this time. My other 4 babies will be in attendance. My yellow lab has been extremely anxious and upset the past couple of days. When I returned home from the Vet's, she followed me into the bedroom just howling. I'll be giving her lots of extra attention...bless her heart, she really loved Edgar.

Is the love we receive and so unconditionally from our babies worth the pain we feel when we lose them? Absolutely!!!

Better run and take care of my other babies. You are really an awesome group of caring people. It helped me so very much to come home and read these messages.

Sending big hugs to all and to all your babies!
Cynthia
Eddy's (so very) brokenhearted Momma

Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #17 
Cynthia ~ I am so sorry your precious Eddy has passed.  He really gave it his all though.  Your service for him sounds very sweet and special, especially with your four pets in attendance.  My heart goes out to you and all your precious fur babies.

Mare

nancyb

Registered:
Posts: 67
 #18 
Cynthia:

I am so sorry for your loss of Eddy.  It is so heartbreaking to loose one of our babies, especially one who has been with you for so long.  I'm sure he's at the bridge and doing all the things he couldn't do anymore due to his illness.  When I lost Zeus 6 months ago, this board helped me so much.  The men in my life just didn't understand my emotions--but the people here do--it was wonderful knowing I wasn't alone.  You aren't alone either.  We really do understand your pain and are here to support each other. My  thoughts and prayers are with you.

-Nancy
Mom to Zues (at the rainbow bridge), Teddy "Bear" Roosevelt, and Dominio the wonder cat (it's a wonder she hasn't clawed Teddy yet)

nanangel

Registered:
Posts: 1,040
 #19 
{{{{{{Cynthia and Eddy}}}}}}\

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Eddy.  Sounds like you two had a fabulous love connection and made many glorious memories.  Please know that I will be thinking of you as you mourn your beloved baby.

Love and {{{HUGS}}} BlakeGirl's  mommy  (Chris)

Plantman23

Registered:
Posts: 95
 #20 
Cynthia, and Eddy - My most heartfelt sympathy on your parting. It was clear from your post that this was probably coming, but many of us were hoping, along with you, that Sir Eddy would rally once again. As I said before, you two had an amazing length of time together; try to dwell on this, and not on being gone.
 
We all know that nothing can take away the pain,but think of the gift you were able to bestow - to ease his pain and end his suffering. He is now at the Rainbow Bridge, healed and healthy and looking forward to the day you can once again laugh and snuggle together.
 
Although I can't take away the pain, let me give you two things which have helped me over the last 9 months since I lost Koke'e. The first is a poem someone on PetLoss gave to me, and I in turn give to you -
 
 
Today I Loved You Most of All
 
We knew it from the start
And now we sit together, me with heavy heart
 
I know that it is time, to release you from your pain
There's nothing left to do, nothing left to gain
As I look into your eyes, I feel the pain I see
I know that you've been holding on just because of me
You are my best friend, and I don't want you to go
But loving you as I do, I can't see you suffer so
 
So as I hold you here, I just wanted you to know
Today I loved you most of all -
Today I let you go.
 
Author Unknown
 
The second is a Candle of Memory, which I lit for Eddy tonight. Look for it in the Candle site you can click on on the first page of PetLoss.
 
Our thoughts are with you and Eddy - we wish you both Peace.
 
Love, and purrrrrs - Mark, and Koke'e at the Bridge
diane

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 2,719
 #21 
Dear Cynthia,  I am so very sorry for your loss of Lil Eddy.  It sounds like he was the perfect pet and my goodness, to live so long.  It doesn't matter how long any of these wonderful furkids live, it's never long enough.  Your baby is in a wonderful place, at Rainbow Bridge, enjoying renewed health, with all of our fur babies.  He will wait there, patiently, for you to join him someday.  You have my deepest sympathy.

Come here often for support and comfort.  We all understand what you are going through.

Bless you, my dear, and the spirit of your beloved angel.

Love,  Diane, Mom of Miss Dallas at the bridge 7 years
petpassion

Registered:
Posts: 225
 #22 

Cynthia I am so sorry on your loss of your precious Lil Eddy. It was time for him to go to the bridge and I am sure he thanks you for making that possible. It is the greatest yet hardest thing we can do. Please come back to talk. Your memorial service for him sounds so beautiful. God Bless   Jill    

LyseM

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #23 

All the things you did for Eddy were so beautiful, and you are so courageous. And I have to agree with you, as someone who lost my dog a week ago and am having a very hard time dealing with it, you are 100% right about it all being worth it. This is the most excruciating pain I've ever known, and I have questioned whether I can ever put myself at risk for this kind of pain again, but I know I will, because life without animals is unimaginable. They give us so much, and also people like us (who feel deeply enough to be so devastated by losing them) have so much to give them, to make their lives better for as long as we can (tho our time with them is never enough). It seems like kind of a curse almost, that those of us who love and care so deeply have to deal with such intense pain, but thank you for reminding me, yes, it is most definitely worth it.

BobbysMist

Registered:
Posts: 135
 #24 
Dear Cynthia,

So sorry for the loss of your beloved Lil Eddy.

30 years of love and memories. That is truly amazing. What a gift!

You are so lucky to have shared Lil Eddy's company and heart for so many years...though I'm sure his long and happy life was the result of all the love you shared and the excellent care you gave him...not just luck.

My 17 year old cat Bobby had kidney disease, was on fluids, supplements and a special K/D diet for 16 months...so I know how hard you worked to help him and keep him with you forever.

My Bobby also did very well until in the end his kidneys finally betrayed him.
I was heartbroken...I still am.

Even though you were blessed to have Lil Eddy for 30 years...loosing him is no less heartbreaking. As you said, there is never a "good time" to say Good-
bye.

You and Lil Eddy are in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless you Lil Eddy and God Speed.
God Bless you too Cynthia.

Chris
aussiepaws

Registered:
Posts: 732
 #25 
We are here for you and Lil Eddy .. the fact he's been with you so long is a miracle. Most of us wish we had our beloved pets with us that long.

Making Lil Eddy's last days here with you are important. I remember Zephyr's last days with us. Getting him to eat anything was a struggle. The day before we said good-by to him we let him enjoy the unusual warm sunny day outside under his favorite Yew bush as my husband raked the leaves. I felt he should enjoy the sights and smells he always enjoyed. Then we brought him inside. The next morning we knew it was time ....

No matter how old our pets are when they leave us ... it's never long enough. Wishing you peace and comfort.
rubes1818

Registered:
Posts: 570
 #26 
Dear Cynthia,
I am so sorry to hear of Lil Eddy's passing.  I will keep you in good thought and wish you peace.
        
                                      Roberta
SirEddysMomma

Registered:
Posts: 142
 #27 
It is 10:15PM Monday and this is the third time I have been out of bed. I needed to come here, so badly and again, I am overwhelmed in reading all of these messages of support and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I am so lost. I have not stopped crying. I don't think it even hit me, that I even believed he was gone, until I got up this morning and walked to Eddy's bed to see if he wanted to go outside yet or if he was still sleeping.

This is just awful pain and I am so lonely for him and miss him so, so very much. He's really gone and I feel so empty and just so lost. My little buddy, who saw me through everything, was always there to comfort me is gone. I am just devastated.

I needed to come here tonight. I know you understand this pain, this emptiness. It shines through in your beautiful and caring messages. And, all I can do now is try to make it through another day without him. I am so thankful for a kind place to come to share these feelings.

My lab laid on Edgar's grave most of the day and this afternoon, my beagle joined her and for quite awhile. I brought them in and gave them a snack and laid on the floor with them and just cried and they kissed me all over as if they understood. They are such a comfort.

I'm going back to bed. Everywhere I look, is Eddy. His meds are on the kitchen counter and his food that he left last, is in the frig in his china dish...I can't bear to wash it yet or even touch it.

I fell to my knees crying and pleading with God to please ease this awful pain, but I know it is the price of love. I do understand this.

I so deeply appreciate this place that I found with a keystroke, this haven with all of you, with all of this love.

Thank You again for reading my thoughts and being here for me.

Much love to you and to your darling babies,
Cynthia
(so lost without my Eddy. I love him so much.)
WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #28 
Just a little note to let you know I am thinking about you tonight, Cynthia, and sending you {{{{hugs}}}}.  I know Sir Eddie was your sweet baby, and I know how badly it hurt to lose him to heaven.  When my little Min Pin, Raphie, passed, I drew a lot of strength from the intense bond I shared with him.  I would hold his little blue leash in my hands and concentrate on that bond. There were so many nights when I held that little leash and could feel his energy.  That was so healing for me.
May the bond you shared for so long with Eddy, be a great source of comfort and strength to you. 
~Melissa
lisabe

Registered:
Posts: 97
 #29 
Hi, Cynthia -

I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.  I lost my german shepherd companion one week ago today - she was our first and so I'm new to all of this.  I had refused to think about what it would be like when she was gone and the overwhelming grief hit me like a brick wall.  This site is wonderful - everyone has such comforting words and I hope they bring you solace as they have for me.

I wish I could help ease your pain, but if nothing else, I thought maybe it would help to tell you that I'm right here with you, and we can go through this together.

Hugs,

Lisa
Mistycat95

Registered:
Posts: 19
 #30 

I dont know what to say. You are in my thoughts and love to you xx

terrijW

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #31 
I am writing because my heart is breaking.  I lost my best friend a day ago and I cannot seem to function.  I had her put to sleep and am so regretful. I feel I was selfish.  I did not want her to die at home but I wish I had held her until the last minute.  She seemed better the day I took her in to see what was wrong.  She could not eat. She vomited if she drank water.  Her kidney level was a 9.  I should have tried different foods.  I should have done more.  
Caseysmomma

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #32 
Terrijw,

You did not want her to suffer. I have the same feelings. My dog developed pneumonia and was breathing more labored. She was going downhill fast. I just accepted the vet’s recommendation that we let her go. I didn’t question it. I didn’t ask there was anything more we could do. I had just watched her struggle and suffer. I try and not question myself too much, because I know she was suffering. You did the best you could do. All that doubt is a lie. She was loved by you.
terrijW

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #33 
thank you so much.  Yes; fear is a liar...There is a song I love to that effect.  I found your story and I know you did all you could do.  We did not control their disease.  Only the love we unconditionally showered on them. My hope for us and so many others going through this sadness...is to get through the missing...get through the expectation of still seeing them in our homes....I appreciate the sharing we have to support one another.  I hope our babies have met and are having a wonderful time...
Plantman23

Registered:
Posts: 95
 #34 
TerrijW,

My most heartfelt sympathy on your loss. It's clear from your post that you loved her very much, and that you knew in your heart what was coming.

We all know that nothing can take away the pain, but think of the gift you were able to give - to ease her pain and put her suffering at an end.She is 
She is now at the Rainbow Bridge, healed and healthy and looking forward to the day you can once again laugh and snuggle together.

Although I can't take away the pain, let me give you something which has helped me over the 10 years I have been member of PetLoss and which has
helped me through the loss of 6 furkids in that time. Three years ago my wife's black heart-cat Midnite was failing fast, and I couldn't bear to send her
to the bridge too soon. So I chose to leave on a vacation, trusting she would be here to greet us when we returned. I was wrong - she died while we were
gone, and she died alone and frightened. I will never forgive myself. So last year I peered through my tears and sorrow, and took my beautiful Tabitha
on that last trip to the bridge. She also suffered from anorexia and kidney failure - am am so glad now that we made that last journey.

So let me give you a poem which someone gave to me when I came to Petloss those many years ago, and which helps a lot.

Today I Loved You Most of All
 
We knew it from the start
And now we sit together, me with heavy heart 
 
I know that it is time, to release you from your pain
There's nothing left to do, nothing left to gain
As I look into your eyes, I feel the pain I see
I know that you've been holding on just because of me
You are my best friend, and I don't want you to go
But loving you as I do, I can't see you suffer so
 
So as I hold you here, I just wanted you to know
Today I loved you most of all -
Today I let you go.
 
Author
Unknown

Our thoughts are with you. Love and purrs - Mark,Barb,Littlebit,Mowee and Nani, and from the rest of the Pride now at the Rainbow Bridge.


terrijW

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #35 
I thank you so very much for your beautiful reply.  It is making today a little easier.  I will read it through out the day for strength!  You are so very kind.  Thank you again...
kjmmba

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #36 
Been 24 hours since my Liam died at home-he had a heart attack-was 10.5 years old-black lab-was having hips issues-put him om cbd oil-it helped-his was body has been taken for cremation-am in constant tears-did everything to give him a good life-he loved me back-this is so very very hard on me-there was nothing i could do-it was his time to go t the rainbow bridge-loved him so much but now am lost because i csnt see him-i feel no guilt because he was very welled looked after his passing is something that happens when you own a pet-one day they go-nothing can be done-this hurts-RIP Liam-love you my friend

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